“My introduction essay on this forum was all about how dmt changed my life, how I was going to become a vegetarian, meditate more, etc. I am now two months down the road and have let all of those ideas go out the window. How did I let my brain do this?”
Personal affirmations are not always followed up by willpower or action. The act of regretting, blaming, or objectifying your progress or judging yourself by how you should have acted in the past are all irrelevant. Action is required, but you have the rest of your life. Time will come.
Meditation does not have to be a “set time aside” sort of thing. I have a busy schedule, and have to meditate (More precisely be in a meditative state) while doing things throughout the day. I do manage time to meditate while at home and/or alone, before bed, or whenever. Its just that you are trying to meditate. The act if “trying” gets in the way of letting go which is the essential first premise. The act of letting go as a command in the mind impedes accomplishing it. It’s more a place within yourself as natural state where thought is not required, you just “are”. Check out Google videos for Adyashanti. He goes into this concept in more depth. So does Adi Da Samraj.
The internal changes from within DMT brings about are real. Your perception from which you made the personal affirmation is one from strength & conviction where you could see the beneficial nature of life changes. Do not so easily discredit the moment of clarity you attained in that brief window of time after your experience. You were setting on the path, and your perspective was from one where in you could see your future so clearly. This is because you actualized and potentate your being-ness into one moment of clarity. From which you could see vast personal power from attaining such goals.
The problem is when we say such things to ourselves we forget the ego’s tendency to get back in control, and the patterns ensue. They can be undone, but give it time. The best way to change an old groove in the record, or habit is to mindfully pay it no attention. The best way to assure you make the life change towards vegetarian will be dependant upon many factors. One of which is money. The most important thing I can impart to you is not to tell anyone you are about to do these changes. If you do change, it is for your self, and there is no deceiving of one’s self. The reason I recommend not to rely upon someone else, or telling someone else you are about to change, is that it bears no relevance to the moment to moment activity change is. That is the difference. Change is transcending old broken promises to self. The new leaf DMT has given you can be beneficial. Here’s how I recommend you make best use of it.
Sit down, and write out day by day, food by food, meal by meal each part of this new way you intend to spend your money on food. Make accommodations in your fridge. Tabulate the estimated costs. Look at your budget, and make allowances for the first time purchase. Small steps so apprehension or “overwhelmed” feeling does not arise. Take time to plan the first purchase so you KNOW you can make it until you have the money to afford the next step. Think out about the energy you will be receiving from these new kinds of foods. Consider with food change depending on body weight, your body’s ability to readily assimilate food, (consider liver, kidney, colon cleanse pills so you can get the most out of the food you eat so you aren’t always hungry) plan for celery and other foods as fillers on the go, consider protein replacement with other vegetarian foods. Also consider the total change over to vegetarian might be a bit much. If you go all the way all at once, you might not have the physical OR mental energy to get your daily activities done that you need to get done. The idea here is to over the next couple of weeks *notice* positive changes in how you feel throughout the day. Get a natural multi-vitamin your body can readily assimilate. Don’t forget fish oils, omega fatty acids, and to only lightly boil finely cooked vegetables. This way, the cell membranes (and there for the nutrients) are not lost or damaged.
Your brain did this to you (neglecting the changes) because of where (in your life) you spend the majority of your attention. Where attention goes, action flows. Where you are in your head throughout the day is a funny thing. Just consider the preoccupation with thought you undergo throughout the day, and all those needy rabid neurotic little thoughts that pester through your mind. (I need to do this I need to do that) Make lists. Spare yourself and free up your cognitive space so things you have not yet ascribed a high priority upon yet (like being mindful of meditation and vegetarian-ism) can BE noticed in the moment once it arises, and it’s time to give it attention. Taking back control of your attention is the first step, and DMT can really drain your attention into a place where you feel kind of zoned out for a while. Instead of reacting to the world, accept it “as is”. Accept what is happening and give up on the necessity to constantly “React”. Just pace yourself at a level (and speed) where you have the luxury (even if it’s only a few seconds) before you respond to someone after they’re done talking. It’s those few moments where you “feel” through your response (or contemplate action) opposed to thinking (internally using words) it through. You’ll find that two seconds of “concentrating” through to an answer where it “feels intuitively right” is far more effective than “thinking” through a “reaction” within two seconds. You may come to find that after taking this approach that you have more control over cumulatively how your life transpires, and should find it more easy to build a life one step at a time where in the sum of your mindfulness becomes (not the reason or the answer) what you envisioned. Envisioning the kind of health (mentally and physically) that you want is one thing, where instead of manifesting it, allowing the flow of consciousness to choose it is a more rewarding perspective towards attaining the long term goals that you desire. This is in cultivating divine desire like a lust for life in the warm friendly positive anticipation not for your ”actions”, or for the “outcome”, but for simply the appreciation for the “time” that will arise in due “time” and the opportunity you await. (Anticipate the "Experience" eagerly without apprehension but with Grace) * To anticipate "awaiting opportunity eagerly" is the key for mind-full living. =)
“I wanted to feel the way I felt after first doing dmt forever. Any suggestions as to how I can get back to how I once felt?”
If you want to gain control of that DMT feeling forever, there are tips & tricks for how to get to a state I have posted:
First Time Experience As Introductive Essay - Introduction Essay - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus
At the end of my post, I explain what I went through to prepare myself for the DMT experience in a way as such which allowed me to be able to have flashbacks to the DMT experience upon will & re-experience the feeling without the drug. Here is what it comes down to. Your subconscious mind has many things it wants to impart to you. The only relevance your subconscious has when it looks upon you is whether or not you and it have combined towards reaching a group will. What I mean by that is to say that when you dream, your subconscious shows us in dream format experiences through which we can better understand how our inner landscape of our mind would like (or intend) us to view our outward manifestation throughout the life in which we lead. To not heed these warnings, and look the other way is to suffer and fight the subconscious will. Lets just say I have discovered my subconscious mind to me 10,000 times more intelligent than I ever will be on the exterior, so only throughout completely submitting toward subconscious will (by letting go) am I allowing the experience of higher mind to come over me (and through me) simultaneously releasing DMT at will. It’s like entering into an altered state of consciousness without effort requires reliving my DMT Trip. (self induced flashback) It’s actually like allowing your consciousness to siphon in backwards through your third eye reaching into the point of your pineal gland to where it resonates. Then by replaying the “Tones” you hear in your head while under your previous DMT trip, those “Tones” (are access points) access parts of yourself for conscious recall toward feelings and memories locked away within the recesses of your subconscious mind. You have to fly through them as an empty point of light (so to speak) in order that you may feel through the interior of your mind receiving information through shape, vibration, and pictograms. (How our brains categorize events and memories.) The idea is by practicing this, you can take a base intention your conscious mind has (to integrate) , and enter into an altered state through allowing your subconscious to take over (It can be frightening, but later becomes an experience that feels more natural, and eventually euphoric, then finally a revelatory feeling). This revelatory experience / feeling of the DMT flashback recreates the significance necessary to capacitate DMT release. You ride it out, and take with you a renewed feeling of anticipatory relief / release & with that comes calm, inner peace, bliss, and "the bright" which is the feeling of illuminating love / bliss.
I don’t expect you to be able to achieve this within a short period of time, but I explained how (In my post link above) I used other drugs to prepare myself in order so that I could have a DMT experience, and later recall it in order to have the experience the Zen meditative teachers call “The First Kiss” at will.
“However... I don't know if this happens to anyone else but sometimes when I am super stoned or cross-faded I start to feel like I am back swimming in another dimension. Sometimes I swear I can see spirits/gray figures dancing in front of my closed eyes while I am awake. It’s like my mind starts to channel my DMT experience, I don't know if that makes sense but getting stoned hasn't been the same after trying DMT, anyone else have that?”
DMT affects the inner brain. Magic Mushrooms don’t hit the parts (the core) like DMT does. DMT affects the visual cortex as well to varying degrees. These things that you see are due to the introduction of a hallucinate substance to those centers, and those centers can be affected by marijuana. Early man as a survival mechanism has peripheral vision in black and white. This region of sight is set up with triggers to alert you in case something (an animal) is sneaking up behind you. This instinctual “shadow people” trip censor fires randomly in people who have sleep deprivation, or PTSD. The simple act of introducing such a large dose of DMT to the brain is like a “traumatic event” to the delicate neurological neuro-chemical wiring around the visual cortex in back of the brain. Since the lower reptilian brain is affected to, I can only imagine these wisps you see are nothing more than your mind playing tricks on you, and all that it means is that the primitive circuitry got tripped with a hallucinogen, as they tend sometimes to wire things together which are not normally wired together; however this wiring is wired as a trigger sensor and is suppose to be wired together as a survival mechanism, so it’s just that the delicate trip wire is being tripped. Because DMT is a natural occurring neurotransmitter in the brain, I highly doubt this altercation is long term. I have been experiencing it myself after taking DMT & It’s almost been a month afterwards. I think that since the subconscious (Which is responsible for grafting shapes over things creating shadow people) has been activated by DMT, it will just be a mater of time before the systems begin to wind down as we know that if you no longer use this primitive circuitry, the effects subside because they are no longer of any relevance. Now if you were living in the jungle where wild animals could attack you, then I would say don’t ignore them. Otherwise, purposefully make a conscious note to ignore, them in order such that by not drawing attention towards these shapes that circuitry can be switched off over time naturally.
