cave paintings
Rising Star
For how much I read here. I rarely contribute much, so I figured I might drop an experience of my own I had earlier tonight. I have used DMT many times, while I suppose many is ambiguous, I have a hard time putting a number on it. It's one of those things you wish you kept a count on, like how many times one has put a tab on their tongue (atleast 100 times). But swim has taken LSD many more times than DMT.
ANYWAY, my history of DMT trips has always been a mixed bag. I have experienced beauty and terror, but almost always, the peaks are profoundly serious.
By serious, I mean very intense for one, but also very jarring, or in-your-face, no bullshit. I still feel I am doing very little justice to what I mean, so I might as well just describe this evening's experience while it is still semi-fresh in my noggin.
I had felt the call lately to try dmt again, though I knew intuitively I would return to the place that always is, always has been and always will be, it is easy to lose touch with such a realm. I've really been depressed and down lately, for many reasons, but as we know, these reasons are usually just nonsense in disguise as legitimacy. I could go into some of the struggles I've been having, but honestly, the Help and Healing section would be better suited for this if I ever decide to legitimize my anxieties by writing about them.
I went to a friend's house, and after much ado, my friend and I, after smudging with sage, began our journey. No amount of DMT was loaded, as the GVG is so full with resin and leftover DMT that there was no reason to pack any. (I don't know what others around here think of 'resin' hitting, but it has always worked for SWIM and produced experiences identical to fresh freebase). SWIM took one rip, exhaled in about a second, too early I thought. The dark room began to fill with geometry and my body and head lit up with energy. SWIM went for the second rip, held it a few seconds longer, then after exhaling a large cloud, proceeded to lie back on the bed.
A familiar monolith flips over and I find myself in a room materializing. A very familiar 'room'. Uh oh, this place, I always forget that this is where DMT leads, I hope I don't go too deep, I'm scared and want it to be over. THIS IS REAL. THIS IS REAL. This kept repeating throughout the experience. The primacy of this state cannot be emphasized enough I feel, it runs so much deeper than physical existence. THIS IS REAL. My heart is racing. The room or place I was in had a tone of complete seriousness at first. It was the way things ARE, in the raw. Spatial boundaries were completely screwy, pretty much impossible to explain, but imagine pulsating, oscillating 'beings' all extending and reverberating at you out of each other. Each being was producing humans, creating things in this reality so to speak. There was a blur sort of between the 'beings' and the humans they were creating/embodying/birthing. THIS IS REAL.
The room took on the tone of a hospital, and I remember the humans being produced seemed to have 'scrubs' on in a sense. I was expecting an operating room experience for a moment, but it never went that way. Each being, which by the way were crammed in indescribable spatial configurations embodied the way things are, some embodied ill will, while others embodied love, but it was all too much to really receive. I was keeping my cool at this point. I kept repeating the mantra 'love', to show that that was all I brought and all I came in search of. It was all so dang familiar. There was scorn amongst this mess of oscillations, a scorning for not being appreciative of my physical existence.
I remember gripping my body and feeling the unusual sensation of having one. Amongst the scorn and intensity, I remember thinking " :Why? Why do I come back? And why don't I learn?" I was answered by a presence that said it was Ok, that this was how one learns, it was a nurse-like presence. Strange this whole DMT thing isn't it?
The room slowly fizzled away. I was left with strange visuals of tentacles and creatures. I opened my eyes and noticed there was tears on the edges, whether from crying or just squeezing my eyes so hard I am unsure. I opened my eyes and saw the geometry and architecture of the room and physical existence.
The experience left me feeling more whole, my heart feeling like it was there again. Sometimes it takes a jolt of primal 'is-ness' to remind you of the privileges you have in this reality. I am tired, so I am sorry if there are grammar errors, run-ons, and the descriptions gobbledegook.
Also, I later went on this night and hung out with my girlfriend. We had some very open, meaningful conversations, and I made a point of telling her how much I loved and how she meant to me. Truth is, this might have been the more meaningful experience of my evening, speaking with my lover. I feel open again. I must return in time, when once again, darkness enters.
ANYWAY, my history of DMT trips has always been a mixed bag. I have experienced beauty and terror, but almost always, the peaks are profoundly serious.
By serious, I mean very intense for one, but also very jarring, or in-your-face, no bullshit. I still feel I am doing very little justice to what I mean, so I might as well just describe this evening's experience while it is still semi-fresh in my noggin.
I had felt the call lately to try dmt again, though I knew intuitively I would return to the place that always is, always has been and always will be, it is easy to lose touch with such a realm. I've really been depressed and down lately, for many reasons, but as we know, these reasons are usually just nonsense in disguise as legitimacy. I could go into some of the struggles I've been having, but honestly, the Help and Healing section would be better suited for this if I ever decide to legitimize my anxieties by writing about them.
I went to a friend's house, and after much ado, my friend and I, after smudging with sage, began our journey. No amount of DMT was loaded, as the GVG is so full with resin and leftover DMT that there was no reason to pack any. (I don't know what others around here think of 'resin' hitting, but it has always worked for SWIM and produced experiences identical to fresh freebase). SWIM took one rip, exhaled in about a second, too early I thought. The dark room began to fill with geometry and my body and head lit up with energy. SWIM went for the second rip, held it a few seconds longer, then after exhaling a large cloud, proceeded to lie back on the bed.
A familiar monolith flips over and I find myself in a room materializing. A very familiar 'room'. Uh oh, this place, I always forget that this is where DMT leads, I hope I don't go too deep, I'm scared and want it to be over. THIS IS REAL. THIS IS REAL. This kept repeating throughout the experience. The primacy of this state cannot be emphasized enough I feel, it runs so much deeper than physical existence. THIS IS REAL. My heart is racing. The room or place I was in had a tone of complete seriousness at first. It was the way things ARE, in the raw. Spatial boundaries were completely screwy, pretty much impossible to explain, but imagine pulsating, oscillating 'beings' all extending and reverberating at you out of each other. Each being was producing humans, creating things in this reality so to speak. There was a blur sort of between the 'beings' and the humans they were creating/embodying/birthing. THIS IS REAL.
The room took on the tone of a hospital, and I remember the humans being produced seemed to have 'scrubs' on in a sense. I was expecting an operating room experience for a moment, but it never went that way. Each being, which by the way were crammed in indescribable spatial configurations embodied the way things are, some embodied ill will, while others embodied love, but it was all too much to really receive. I was keeping my cool at this point. I kept repeating the mantra 'love', to show that that was all I brought and all I came in search of. It was all so dang familiar. There was scorn amongst this mess of oscillations, a scorning for not being appreciative of my physical existence.
I remember gripping my body and feeling the unusual sensation of having one. Amongst the scorn and intensity, I remember thinking " :Why? Why do I come back? And why don't I learn?" I was answered by a presence that said it was Ok, that this was how one learns, it was a nurse-like presence. Strange this whole DMT thing isn't it?
The room slowly fizzled away. I was left with strange visuals of tentacles and creatures. I opened my eyes and noticed there was tears on the edges, whether from crying or just squeezing my eyes so hard I am unsure. I opened my eyes and saw the geometry and architecture of the room and physical existence.
The experience left me feeling more whole, my heart feeling like it was there again. Sometimes it takes a jolt of primal 'is-ness' to remind you of the privileges you have in this reality. I am tired, so I am sorry if there are grammar errors, run-ons, and the descriptions gobbledegook.
Also, I later went on this night and hung out with my girlfriend. We had some very open, meaningful conversations, and I made a point of telling her how much I loved and how she meant to me. Truth is, this might have been the more meaningful experience of my evening, speaking with my lover. I feel open again. I must return in time, when once again, darkness enters.
