I think some of the problem is with terminology. Ego is a pretty new concept and it can end up meaning a lot of things. A lot of people use it to mean the extreme traits of self-protection and self-aggrandizement - trying to maintain your self-importance basically. Modern psychology then tries to sort the problem of how this can work within society and how an individual can feel alright about itself. None of this interests me really; just so much wiseacring, prolongation of suffering.

Far more interesting is what Advaita/Non Dualism has to say on the matter. This says that any idea of being an individual, a person, of "being me" (in the limited use of the word) is just a construct. It came into being sometime early in life and somehow subsumed a small amount of all the manifestations-in consciousness, called it "I" and then put that into opposition with the rest which it called "not I" or "the world" (hence the creation of dualism). There's sort of no way of proving this "I" exists so it has this impossible task of having to maintain an illusion with nothing to substantiate it but believing it will cease to exist/die if it doesn't. This is the cause of endless suffering. If the illusion ever drops however then it all simply becomes "things happening in consciousness". "Things" are transitory and have a relative reality. Consciousness is all encompassing and has total reality. In fact, with the illusion dissolved, it's seen as boundless and as the One Thing, Aliveness, Perfection, Love - satchidananda as it was called in the Vedas of ancient India.

Faced with the option of boundless bliss in eternity or living a tortured existence defending a non-existent construct then you'd think most people would go for the former. Well I guess therein lies the problem: how can a non-existent construct, a person,  decide it's not going to be a non-existent construct - it's just not going to happen. The dream character can't wake itself up from the dream. Welcome to the ultimate paradox, the origin of a 1000 zen tales, the "seeker's" exasperation and in my case a 40-year search.

So there's not an answer to this. If there were, then Bliss Inc. would be selling it for $1000 a shot (actually a quick Google search shows you they already are!). But life or the universe or god or something has its unexplained gifts - call them grace, call them what you will, but nothing to do with an imaginary person achieving something - and these can transcend the illusion of being a person. The astounding thing is that certain entheogens like dmt can pass through the gateless gate (yes, I did say dmt could pass, not you on dmt). What happens when that uncomfortable construct reappears a seeming 10 minutes later is where the real value lies.