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giver of will

giver of will

L.ife's S.ubliminal D.ream
I'm new the the forums, been taking psychedelics for about 3 years now and i just recently managed to acquire some deemsters. I got a G of it and made a lightbulb vape to smoke it with. after about 6 or 7 tries i finally managed to break through the other night, it was incredible i saw these half alien half machine hybrids controlling everything. after breaking through i wanted to try it again last night and so i packed up some more and turned on some shpongle and lit a candle and turned off all the lights. i took about 4 good rips and i was instantly locked inside of my brain. it was like every thought i had would have the opposite thought occur at the same time, so basically i was like "ok just calm down this is just a drug" and i would instantly have a thought "probed" into my head saying "your trapped forever". my brain would not let me do anything and it was like my only option was to "free my mind". i came down soon after and was determined to try again this morning but when i woke up i felt very strange and uncertain. last nights trip is what made me decide to post here, i probably know a few of you from other forums (pandora for example). I just would like to hear your thoughts on this trip. I feel very confused about what to do with my dmt and its all i can think about, i cant even study. Glad to be here at dmt nexus though, excited to discuss this incredible molecule.
 
Welcome, giver of will
I'm not really qualified to have a say in this because I have yet to try DMT. All I can offer is the link to the worst possible situation I've heard of-
Farewell DMT
Don't let this scare you. From what I can see, Jobono's mishap is the result of improper use of DMT.
Health and Safety
Just relax, read the tips on Integration and wait for more qualified members to respond. You'll be fine.
 
Hi giver of will,

He he. Welcome to the Nexus! You found the better forum here. Chat is orders of magnitude better too - a whole other world . . .

Please do check out the FAQ, wiki and Health & Safety links - the more you look the deeper it goes. Nice to see something really well written by those who have already treaded over similar territory.

The culture here is a bit different from other forums. We have been called elitist at Nexus and in a way we are - the standards and culture strongly promote respectful use, no selling, mutual support, extraordinary documentation/references for extraordinary (scientific) claims, high standards for our unauthorized researches and even trip reports. Most of these are guidelines, but cultures can enforce those very effectively. Thus, I encourage you to really look around. Folks don't even like calling DMT deemsters here. It's not a big deal and yet . . . . :D

Interesting that BeastofBurden put a link to one of good old joebono's threads. Mr. joebono is a bit infamous here for going off the deep end and never really coming back, sadly. Many believe that this was a direct result of his abuse and disrespectful attitude towards this amazingly powerful medicine that we use.

These are friendly warnings. In my opinion, you're nowhere near any of these points.

But, you clearly had a very strong, intense, surprising experience and have many questions. DMT does this to people. Some like this (myself because I was middle aged, burned out and thought I'd seen it all). Some find this obsessively disturbing. Again, these are just one (more than a bit "crazy" ) woman's observations.

One of the members I really love and respect here at Nexus, ۩, talks about DMT being nothing but reflection and us. I think he is on to something very profound here. You said you got locked in your own brain/mind. Locked in, or shown around rather roughly? Shown some deeper, sub or preconscious (resistance/controlling?) levels you aren't used to having on the surface. . . . this is sheer speculation . . . but this is how I try to "interpret" the personal symbology of DMT trips. . .

I think part of your difficulty last night and hesitation today was your lack of complete and utter surrender. DMT demands this. Resistance really is futile. You had that nicely illustrated . . . tell yourself to calm and you're trapped forever. You were close, in my opinion when you said your only option was to free your mind . . . but again I use the word surrender. . . it is THE option with DMT. Let it all go, . . . any desire for control of the trip, to figure it out, to see how long it's lasting, worry about breath and heart, . . . trust this beautiful molecule (safe - endogenous neurotransmitter, though incredibly intense at these doses), desire to hang on to your body or sense of embodiment or self or ego or feeling that you're alive or dead or can end the trip or induce a breakthrough or . . . . . . . whatever your personal list is, . . . . just try to let it all go.

Try to really make an effort to relax and meditate before going in.

I sincerely refer you to this most amazing and valuable resource created by, . . .you guessed it, . . ۩:


Good journies to you. Please keep us posted. And again, welcome!

Peace & Love
 
Pandora said:
Hi giver of will,

He he. Welcome to the Nexus! You found the better forum here. Chat is orders of magnitude better too - a whole other world . . .

Please do check out the FAQ, wiki and Health & Safety links - the more you look the deeper it goes. Nice to see something really well written by those who have already treaded over similar territory.

The culture here is a bit different from other forums. We have been called elitist at Nexus and in a way we are - the standards and culture strongly promote respectful use, no selling, mutual support, extraordinary documentation/references for extraordinary (scientific) claims, high standards for our unauthorized researches and even trip reports. Most of these are guidelines, but cultures can enforce those very effectively. Thus, I encourage you to really look around. Folks don't even like calling DMT deemsters here. It's not a big deal and yet . . . . :D

Interesting that BeastofBurden put a link to one of good old joebono's threads. Mr. joebono is a bit infamous here for going off the deep end and never really coming back, sadly. Many believe that this was a direct result of his abuse and disrespectful attitude towards this amazingly powerful medicine that we use.

These are friendly warnings. In my opinion, you're nowhere near any of these points.

But, you clearly had a very strong, intense, surprising experience and have many questions. DMT does this to people. Some like this (myself because I was middle aged, burned out and thought I'd seen it all). Some find this obsessively disturbing. Again, these are just one (more than a bit "crazy" ) woman's observations.

One of the members I really love and respect here at Nexus, ۩, talks about DMT being nothing but reflection and us. I think he is on to something very profound here. You said you got locked in your own brain/mind. Locked in, or shown around rather roughly? Shown some deeper, sub or preconscious (resistance/controlling?) levels you aren't used to having on the surface. . . . this is sheer speculation . . . but this is how I try to "interpret" the personal symbology of DMT trips. . .

I think part of your difficulty last night and hesitation today was your lack of complete and utter surrender. DMT demands this. Resistance really is futile. You had that nicely illustrated . . . tell yourself to calm and you're trapped forever. You were close, in my opinion when you said your only option was to free your mind . . . but again I use the word surrender. . . it is THE option with DMT. Let it all go, . . . any desire for control of the trip, to figure it out, to see how long it's lasting, worry about breath and heart, . . . trust this beautiful molecule (safe - endogenous neurotransmitter, though incredibly intense at these doses), desire to hang on to your body or sense of embodiment or self or ego or feeling that you're alive or dead or can end the trip or induce a breakthrough or . . . . . . . whatever your personal list is, . . . . just try to let it all go.

Try to really make an effort to relax and meditate before going in.

I sincerely refer you to this most amazing and valuable resource created by, . . .you guessed it, . . ۩:


Good journies to you. Please keep us posted. And again, welcome!

Peace & Love
Click to expand...

thanks pandora, you were one of the reasons i came here. i have a few questions about smoking this stuff. you mentioned skatole occuring in burnt dmt resin in another forum, i was wondering if you could go into more detail about that, i have a ton of dmt resin left in the lightbulb but some of it is black surrounded by brown liquid, there are also white crystals that form around the sides of the lightbulb after it cools and they melt quickly after a flame is touched to them. my lungs have been hurting all day and im beginning to worry that i might be smoking burnt dmt resin. i have jungle spice but white crystals are forming around the sides, is this ok?
 
As I have mentioned here and there, I am no scientist/chemist. At least in chat culture, I have noticed a joking attitude towards skatole as if is not a real issue. Hopefully others will comment. Also I have heard others praise DMT resin.

Now, my original reference (not handy but retrievable) was a short article and/or letter in an Entheogen Review issue. Also I believe in the other forum I referenced a wikipedia link.

I am a fanatic believer that investing in a Vaporgenie or even Glass Vaporgenie pipe solves these issues. When used correctly, resin is not an issue, burning is not an issue. Every molecule is vaporized and any pipe deposits are re-creystallized DMT and/or plant or herb oils.

Problem solved because there is no problem, . . . even if perhaps it is not a problem in the first place.

So, needless to say, I don't really know, but I sincerely encourage getting rid of the bulb, investing in a GVG or at least using a bong or glass pipe with some herb (not mj) and/or ash on top of screens. Always endeavor to vaporize and not burn as much as possible. It's worth taking extra time at the beginning to let it very slowly melt then bubble into vapor.

I hope this helps and am confident you will get more/better answers. You're on the right track to post questions and health/safety concerns.

Peace & Love
 
thanks! yea im gonna go head and smash this bulb vape. im very low on cash and i wish i could afford a VG but all i got left now is a bong, bubbler, and 3 regular pipes. I could not figure out how to vaporize the dmt with weed layers so i used the light bulb to make sure i was getting dmt smoke. i think im gonna wait a while before i pack up another hit of spice as well. thinking back on that breakthrough experience is enough for me right now.
 
Hi giver of will,

welcome to both the nexus and the world of hyperspace.
I think one of the most important aspects of working with entheogens is taking mindful breaks now and then. Whether they be a day, a week or three years wholly depends on what it is you have yet to integrate. Sometimes it's not just the experience itself that needs integration but the encompassing processes that the experience perhaps only made you aware of and brought to the surface. So I think a certain sense for when one is ready needs to be developed and then one must at all costs listen to it...
Finally don't be deterred by harrowing experiences. They can give you just as much positive input and support for growth as a blissful experience can, so long as you give your self a chance to analyze in detail and reflect upon it from as many angles as you can manage...

I think giving it a rest for a while can help, but try not to let it develop into a fear or trauma. Don't turn away from the lessons, no matter how horrifying they seemed at the time. Let them pass through you, transform you, and then transcend whatever pain was injected. That would be my approach :)

much love
Enoon
 
Enoon said:
Hi giver of will,

welcome to both the nexus and the world of hyperspace.
I think one of the most important aspects of working with entheogens is taking mindful breaks now and then. Whether they be a day, a week or three years wholly depends on what it is you have yet to integrate. Sometimes it's not just the experience itself that needs integration but the encompassing processes that the experience perhaps only made you aware of and brought to the surface. So I think a certain sense for when one is ready needs to be developed and then one must at all costs listen to it...
Finally don't be deterred by harrowing experiences. They can give you just as much positive input and support for growth as a blissful experience can, so long as you give your self a chance to analyze in detail and reflect upon it from as many angles as you can manage...

I think giving it a rest for a while can help, but try not to let it develop into a fear or trauma. Don't turn away from the lessons, no matter how horrifying they seemed at the time. Let them pass through you, transform you, and then transcend whatever pain was injected. That would be my approach :)

much love
Enoon
Click to expand...

Thank you Enoon. Yea I have had many bad trips from LSD and mostly Mushrooms so that difficult dmt trip was not that new to me, just more intense mind loops. I wanted to hit the dmt again after that experience just so i could end on a good note and not let it develop into fear or trauma like you said. Now that I have gone 2 days without touching it my mind is more focused on my breakthrough experience right before the difficult one. It was amazing but its hard for me to integrate what I saw into real life. DMT is so fast and intense it gives me almost no time to remember what happened exactly. With lsd and mushrooms I had 6-10 hours of experiencing and taking in what all there is to take in, that dmt trip pretty much just summed up a 15 hit acid trip in 2 minutes. Seeing those beings was not even that much of a surprise to me considering Ive been reading about them and communicating with them on high doses of lsd and mushrooms along with meditation for almost 2 years now. I guess it was just the confirmation of their existence that blew my mind. Still, I felt as if no lesson was learned in that breakthrough other than the fact that I confirmed their existence.
 
I understand how you feel about the no-lesson thing. I've felt that way too in the beginning but I've come to find that each dmt trip lingers with me for much longer than is obvious. sometimes I will notice its effects in very subtle ways days after... things become clear or an understanding of certain aspects of the experience unravelling into my conscious self in a very quiet fashion. I would not dismiss the value of vaporized spice just yet. Try to pay attention to very fine sensitivities you possess.
I see it as a making contact with parts of myself, previously unknown to me. The contact seems brief, but I am building bridges into those areas of the self. Maybe only frail tendrils at first, but enough for a miniscule communication to take place. And the more we delve into dmt, the more these tendrils can become canals or portals to our inner worlds, for us to explore deeper and deeper...

It's just an image and doesn't have to hold true, but it describes the feeling I have sometimes.
 
Enoon said:
I understand how you feel about the no-lesson thing. I've felt that way too in the beginning but I've come to find that each dmt trip lingers with me for much longer than is obvious. sometimes I will notice its effects in very subtle ways days after... things become clear or an understanding of certain aspects of the experience unravelling into my conscious self in a very quiet fashion. I would not dismiss the value of vaporized spice just yet. Try to pay attention to very fine sensitivities you possess.
I see it as a making contact with parts of myself, previously unknown to me. The contact seems brief, but I am building bridges into those areas of the self. Maybe only frail tendrils at first, but enough for a miniscule communication to take place. And the more we delve into dmt, the more these tendrils can become canals or portals to our inner worlds, for us to explore deeper and deeper...

It's just an image and doesn't have to hold true, but it describes the feeling I have sometimes.
Click to expand...

:d I was hoping it would start to slowly unravel like you said. Just this morning I woke up and felt somewhat different than I did yesterday, hope it continues.
 
Pandora said:
I think part of your difficulty last night and hesitation today was your lack of complete and utter surrender. DMT demands this. Resistance really is futile. You had that nicely illustrated . . . tell yourself to calm and you're trapped forever. You were close, in my opinion when you said your only option was to free your mind . . . but again I use the word surrender. . . it is THE option with DMT. Let it all go, . . . any desire for control of the trip, to figure it out, to see how long it's lasting, worry about breath and heart, . . . trust this beautiful molecule (safe - endogenous neurotransmitter, though incredibly intense at these doses), desire to hang on to your body or sense of embodiment or self or ego or feeling that you're alive or dead or can end the trip or induce a breakthrough or . . . . . . . whatever your personal list is, . . . . just try to let it all go.
Click to expand...

yea it was! i started seeing my mind start to dissolve feeling a little bit better and i just came back down. I really hope I can remember to do that again next time it happens.
 
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