As a general rule, I don't make a regular habit of most anything chemically other than coffee and cannabis. Oh, nicotine, too, lol. But psychedelics are like dessert in a way. Everyone's favorite course of a meal, but it would be too much to simply have dessert as the main course, every course.

In reckoning my own psychedelic use with my existential-metaphysical belief structure, I sort of have come to feel like psychedelics are a cheat almost. As though we are here to grok some deeper thing without having to flip to the back of the book where the answers are, and psychedelics have the potential to do that for a person (perhaps a reason it can be so difficult to retain the experience?). And when we take them, in a sense, we've already invalidated the whole test by cheating. But, at least in this go 'round, we can take that point of invalidation, do our best to study it and remember it so maybe we won't have to cheat the next time 'round.

In my most recent smoalking, I was just barely sub-breakthrough. A spinning, pulsating, multichromatic fractal thing in CEVs and mostly surreal but somewhat recognizable OEVs. The thought-form I had reached was trying to convince me I was insane- literally showing me to myself in a white padded room and a hospital gown rapidly pacing back and forth. Considering insanity is one of my few true phobias, it was a fairly easy bluff for me to call, but there is always that brief moment... After I called the bluff- humbly, I assure- It continued on with chiding me over all the real life stupid BS I do just like everyone else (in the most loving manner, I have to add) and reminding me that "special isn't" and "average isn't", and a host of other things as I feathered back into my meatsack. But at the end of the day, I still sort of cheated to figure that stuff out.

FWIW.