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Where do I start?

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Brianamarie_a

Rising Star
Hi everyone. My name is Bee. I don't know where to start lol. I guess I'll start by thanking you for taking the time to read this. I've been interested in trying DMT for a while now but truthfully I am scared to take the leap. Let me tell you a few things about myself in order for you guys to better understand my curiosity yet fear of the DMT experience.

I guess I could say that I feel my life has been a series of unfortunate events that seem never ending and yet fateful. I have had terrible things happen to me that have left me not only questioning my place in this world, but the place of everything in this world. Good and bad. I believe in karma. I believe in reincarnation. I believe I've made mistakes in my past life that has led me to make more mistakes in this life. I don't necessarily believe in one God, but I do believe in the universe. I have questions. Just like everyone else. About eight months ago, I was going through a very stressful time. I'm a single teen mom and in order to escape my problems for a night, I did something stupid. Please do not judge me. I mixed ecstasy with thizz, meth, marijuana, and a lot of hard alcohol. I thought I died. I've never done so many drugs at once. My best friend was with me and i was unconscious/ not responding to her in her car. I felt I wasn't really unconscious. I remember feeling like I left my body. My best friend told me when I was eventually coming back to my consciousness, I was telling her I was lost and I couldn't find myself. I kept telling her I wasn't here anymore and I couldn't find my way back. It was creeping her out and she told me she was scared that night for me. Well I woke up in my bed hours later and my whole world was different. I was literally trapped in my head. I felt completely disconnected from this world and it sent me into a spiraling depression that resulted in me hurting my body because I didn't feel like it was mine anymore. My anxiety had never been so bad in my life. I had to go to a psychiatrist and she prescribed me meds to help my my anxiety/depression. I quit drinking, smoking mj, and doing any drugs. I began to get active and eventually got out of my depression.

But the anxiety is still here. The feeling of this world not being the only reality drives me crazy. It sets my anxiety off. I haven't tried any hallucinogens before because of my fear that my anxiety will only get worse because of it. I still feel like I'm not 100 percent here. I haven't fully recovered from what happened. It freaked me out and gave me so many questions. It gave me respect for the universe. It gave me an intense overwhelming fear of death. It made me socially awkward and introverted even more from being trapped in my mind and disconnected from everything and everyone. I'm really tired of living an anxious life. I'm really tired of feeling like my reality is not the only reality. I have researched DMT and it's potential life changing experiences.

My question for the community , is where do I start? Do you guys feel that this would be healing for me? A possible healing experience where my anxiety about reality can be put at rest? Or will it only get worse? When did you know it was the right time to take that leap and expose yourself to the beauty and true nature of things? Remember that I have never tried LSD or shrooms or anything reality altering before because of my anxiety. Should I face my fears? Please help :( I've been at war with myself and with the universe. I want the answers. I understand my questions will only be answered with more questions but was this satisfying for anyone? Did things come to light for you? How do you guys feel about anxiety and DMT? Please give me all your input. I would love it more than anything
 
I would wait.

Tread carefully, do as much research as you can stand, then more,

dabble before you dive.
Check out the CHAT in the top left, lots of great people here for support.

But without a doubt. WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE 100% IN THIS WORLD AGAIN BEFORE LEAVING.Integration is as important, if not more so, than any out of body experience.

And if leaving this world gave you anxiety and depression, this sort of stuff may not be your thing.



At least in my perspective.
But Hey, what even is a perspective:?: 😁
 
Start with the first step in the right direction.

Start with humbleness.

Start with understanding.

Start with research.

Learn compassion and love along the way.

End with heaven on earth.

Meanwhile, you can continue with your old life.

*morphius pulls out the red and blue pill*

Hah Just kidding.

Much Love from the Dao
 
in my opinion i would try mushrooms before trying dmt, and make sure you do plenty of research first. i used to have anxiety issues similar to your anxiety about this being the only reality, but one weekend i was brought to a music/art/camping festival in new england USA and was fed mushrooms and had an out of body experience and learned so much about the perspective of reality. when that was said and done i had much less anxiety. that worked for me but who knows what will work for you, just be smart and be safe in whatever you decide to do.
 
Brianamarie_a said:
My question for the community , is where do I start? Do you guys feel that this would be healing for me? A possible healing experience where my anxiety about reality can be put at rest? Or will it only get worse? When did you know it was the right time to take that leap and expose yourself to the beauty and true nature of things? Remember that I have never tried LSD or shrooms or anything reality altering before because of my anxiety. Should I face my fears? Please help :( I've been at war with myself and with the universe. I want the answers. I understand my questions will only be answered with more questions but was this satisfying for anyone? Did things come to light for you? How do you guys feel about anxiety and DMT? Please give me all your input. I would love it more than anything
Click to expand...

hi , i hope i can clearly understand what your'e going through.....

are you thinking continously ? is there a voice in your head thats talking to you 24x7 ? does the talking even continue in your dreams ? do you even talk to yourself when somebody else is talking to you ? are you thinking even when reading this ?

if the answer to the above questions is yes , you're in luck you're suffering from a mild form of amphetamine psychosis , which will get better in time

most importantly the only cure is to be in the moment all the time , to let go of past and future , to let thoughts go , start hearing more , hearing music allday helps keep one in the moment and away from thinking and anxiety , be in the moment , forget past issues and be in the moment , let thoughts go for thinking cannot really help you , only you can help yourself , thinking is useless as life needs to be lived , it cannot be thought up ...

check this thread out for more details .......https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=41469

also if you're not thinking and there is no voice in your head , then be glad your'e suffering is already over

and regarding your question whether you should be smoking DMT or doing other Psychadelics , well honestly speaking they'll help however it will take perhaphs years before any true help healing can be seen and hundreds to thousands of experiences with these tools before true healing can be accomplished , are you ready to dedicate rest of your life working with these molecules , because thats where i am heading ,

its all up to you , i can promise you psychadelics are not as much fun as MDMA or cannabis , they can be a lot more fun however it takes years of experience with psychdelics to reach a coherence level ,

most of all workout physically everday and listen to the music and try being in the moment all the time , with or without psychadelics
 
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