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Why I'm here.

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phoenixbinder

phoenixbinder

Rising Star
Hi all,

In the interest of being concise I'm going to be straightforward and to the point. I'm a seeker. Life/the world has felt 'wrong' for as long as I can remember. I've been looking for answers since I was an early teen. Life has put many distractions and illusions in my path but now I've finally reached a point where my only interest/goal is to go within and come face to face with myself/the truth (whatever that is).

I've never used psychedelics or any other drug with the exception of a few alcoholic drinks (less than 20 total in my lifetime). My ultimate goal is an Ayahuasca type trip where I will hopefully experience the meeting of self that I'm searching for. Finding and resting in the 'truth' is all that matters to me.

I'm not looking for full membership. I'm here because I'm hoping I can use the resources here as a tool to help me on my journey into psychedelics. Whether or not my future psychedelic experiences provide the main experience I'm searching for, I'll most likely abandon the forums and move on with my existence after my psychedelic experiences; unless of course my psychedelic experiences change me as I've read can happen. In that case I don't know what the future will be.

I don't mean to sound like an asshole or to offend; I just want to be honest with you all and present myself and my intentions as honestly and clearly as possible.

Thank you,
Magnus
 
Welcome!
That happens to many people - they go on a journey or on a few, and move on then. That a totally legit and healthy approach. Would be nice to read from you again and see how things went.
 
If you're interested in becoming the Self/the Truth, you can skip psychedelics altogether and start right now, where you are now. Look into "Self Inquiry" by Ramana Maharshi.

Wish I could meet you face to face and encourage you - to have a mind untouched by psychedelics and limited alcohol use puts you in a fantastic starting position in regards to self-inquiry; your mind will be far less cluttered than the average person (assuming you've stayed healthy in other areas of your life).

The bright lights and colours of the psychedelic world are just as illusory as the physical. In some respects it is even more of a distraction. If you're sincere you could get a boost from psychedelics, a perspective shift, but I'd wager you'll be right where you are now 10 years hence with a few nice experiences but potentially carrying a mental scar or two.

I mean it's your choice, but again to have such great starting potential.. I highly recommend exploring self-inquiry first. Good luck with whatever you choose.
 
brewster said:
Welcome!
That happens to many people - they go on a journey or on a few, and move on then. That a totally legit and healthy approach. Would be nice to read from you again and see how things went.
Click to expand...

Thank you. I'll try and keep you up to date.
 
xss27 said:
If you're interested in becoming the Self/the Truth, you can skip psychedelics altogether and start right now, where you are now. Look into "Self Inquiry" by Ramana Maharshi.

Wish I could meet you face to face and encourage you - to have a mind untouched by psychedelics and limited alcohol use puts you in a fantastic starting position in regards to self-inquiry; your mind will be far less cluttered than the average person (assuming you've stayed healthy in other areas of your life).

The bright lights and colours of the psychedelic world are just as illusory as the physical. In some respects it is even more of a distraction. If you're sincere you could get a boost from psychedelics, a perspective shift, but I'd wager you'll be right where you are now 10 years hence with a few nice experiences but potentially carrying a mental scar or two.

I mean it's your choice, but again to have such great starting potential.. I highly recommend exploring self-inquiry first. Good luck with whatever you choose.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your reply. I will definitely look into that book. From some of the stories I've heard about ayahuasca it can take you on a hellish journey and show you parts of yourself that you surpress or reject. That's what I'm looking for. I would like it if it weren't hellish but I'm not going to fool myself. There's zero guarantee that I will have my desired experience especially since I'll most likely be using an ayahuasca analog, but if there's anything chance that that I can reach my core self I wanna try. From your post it sounds like you have some experience in this area. In your experience am I totally off the mark about dmt? Is it more of an entertainment experience versus a learning experience?
 
Hey pheonix,

You've certainly got the right mindset. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, expect nothing.

Untouched by psychedelics and other substances....a near virgin mind. I like to fantasize what that would had been like.... but, I made some choices.

The psychedelic experience is very cryptic, IMO. For me, the series of experiences, and the things revealed, almost gives me the feeling that they are a gateway to our past, present, and future selves. Though nothing is defined in stone, when I began to collect all the experiences and integrate them over time.... it makes me wonder... would my future self decide to look at the past experiences, and send subtle messages about the forthcoming events? I have no idea. Do psychedelics provide insight about our selves? Maybe? Depends how the experience relates to events that occur in reality.

For example, i had a very profound experience... i thought nothing of it after a month or two. Well, ~4 years later... that event "happens." The trip report is different than what ACTUALLY happened... but I wondered. Maybe I misinterpreted some part of that experience in relation to the outcome I'd been expecting in "reality." After some time to consider and review the memory of that experience over and over, i realized my error was the translation.

Though it didn't "exactly" play out how I thought... It gave me insight about what to do next. The choices are out there. The challenge has been made aware... so, how do I use everything I've learned from psychedelics to enact the will to influence the change that I'd like... just be. That's all I have to do. Be myself and roll with the flow... where the river Flows....


Take care,
ACY
 
AcaciaConfusedYah said:
Hey pheonix,

You've certainly got the right mindset. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, expect nothing.

Untouched by psychedelics and other substances....a near virgin mind. I like to fantasize what that would had been like.... but, I made some choices.

The psychedelic experience is very cryptic, IMO. For me, the series of experiences, and the things revealed, almost gives me the feeling that they are a gateway to our past, present, and future selves. Though nothing is defined in stone, when I began to collect all the experiences and integrate them over time.... it makes me wonder... would my future self decide to look at the past experiences, and send subtle messages about the forthcoming events? I have no idea. Do psychedelics provide insight about our selves? Maybe? Depends how the experience relates to events that occur in reality.

For example, i had a very profound experience... i thought nothing of it after a month or two. Well, ~4 years later... that event "happens." The trip report is different than what ACTUALLY happened... but I wondered. Maybe I misinterpreted some part of that experience in relation to the outcome I'd been expecting in "reality." After some time to consider and review the memory of that experience over and over, i realized my error was the translation.

Though it didn't "exactly" play out how I thought... It gave me insight about what to do next. The choices are out there. The challenge has been made aware... so, how do I use everything I've learned from psychedelics to enact the will to influence the change that I'd like... just be. That's all I have to do. Be myself and roll with the flow... where the river Flows....


Take care,
ACY
Click to expand...

Thank you for your reply.

Your experience sounds very interesting. Would you be willing to post a link to your trip report?

I'm no stranger to precognitive 'visions', 'communications', whatever you'd like to call it. Although, my experiences with such are dream based instead of drug based. I mean, it's the same chemical after all, dmt, just released at different times in different ways. That's why I take altered states of consciousness and psychedelics very seriously; I know, first hand, what can and does transpire when dmt is flooding one's brain.

My experiences during dream and self-induced altered states of consciousness is one of the main and strongest reasons I'm turning to ayahuasca/dmt. When dreaming, even lucidly, it's a crap-shoot as to whether or not one will experience 'psychic' (for lack of a better word) or insightful experiences. If dmt allows me to enter an altered state that's possibly similar to dream states, then, maybe, I can get the information/experience I'm looking for. Although I have no experience with psychedelics I'm hoping that with time and practice I might be able to learn to navigate the world that dmt opens me up to, if it dmt does indeed do that and it's not just a foolish idea I'm carrying. Like I said, I don't hold any expectations but I do hold hopes. I'm just going to have to dive in and see where it takes me.

From what I've read and heard I understand that there are universal experiences that practitioners share when on a dmt trip, but I don't think it's an overstatement to say that psychedelics affect everyone differently and each persons experience is unique and tailored to them. As I stated above, I'm no stranger to precognitive 'visions' experienced through dream states. Beyond that, I've also had a plethora of other 'psychic' experiences during dream states. I won't go into it because I've rambled enough and it's probably only interesting to myself, but, suffice it to say, I have pretty extensive knowledge and experience when it comes to interacting with other 'realities' and 'entities'. Whether those realities and entities exist outside of myself or as aspects of my psyche is unknown, but I'm not a complete novice and I'm eager to experience what doors dmt opens if it opens any doors as all. No matter my trip experience/s, or even I end up not taking dmt at all, I'm sure that my desire to 'open doors' will, at least, open one due to my attempt to do so.

Peace :)
 
Personally I think psychedelics are far from a dream state/lucidity, they are very real (if real can even be defined). I think they more so take the hallucination away rather then make us hallucinate. When you dissolve the ego you can see things much more clearly from a third person perspective and it’s not always enjoyable, especially when you first open the box that you’ve been keeping hidden. I only have close contact with a few people practicing the esoteric, magick, alchemy, and rituals, we all use spiritual discipline and practice as our main but psychedelics are an invaluable tool. There’s a reason every ancient culture used them in these practices.

In Tantra the idea is to reach an enlightened state through the senses. This is a much faster path (it’s why I recommend psychedelics on your search), but it is very easy to get distracted off the path without discipline.

Discipline is extremely important on the path to self-discovery (if there even is such thing as a self). Meditate, fast, refrain from sex for periods, spend time in isolation. Use psychedelics only as a tool.
 
Personally I think psychedelics are far from a dream state/lucidity, they are very real (if real can even be defined). I think they more so take the hallucination away rather then make us hallucinate. When you dissolve the ego you can see things much more clearly from a third person perspective and it’s not always enjoyable, especially when you first open the box that you’ve been keeping hidden. I only have close contact with a few people practicing the esoteric, magick, alchemy, and rituals, we all use spiritual discipline and practice as our main but psychedelics are an invaluable tool. There’s a reason every ancient culture used them in these practices.

In Tantra the idea is to reach an enlightened state through the senses. This is a much faster path (it’s why I recommend psychedelics on your search), but it is very easy to get distracted off the path without discipline.

Discipline is extremely important on the path to self-discovery (if there even is such thing as a self). Meditate, fast, refrain from sex for periods, spend time in isolation. Use psychedelics only as a tool.
 
theAlkēmist said:
Personally I think psychedelics are far from a dream state/lucidity, they are very real (if real can even be defined). I think they more so take the hallucination away rather then make us hallucinate. When you dissolve the ego you can see things much more clearly from a third person perspective and it’s not always enjoyable, especially when you first open the box that you’ve been keeping hidden. I only have close contact with a few people practicing the esoteric, magick, alchemy, and rituals, we all use spiritual discipline and practice as our main but psychedelics are an invaluable tool. There’s a reason every ancient culture used them in these practices.

In Tantra the idea is to reach an enlightened state through the senses. This is a much faster path (it’s why I recommend psychedelics on your search), but it is very easy to get distracted off the path without discipline.

Discipline is extremely important on the path to self-discovery (if there even is such thing as a self). Meditate, fast, refrain from sex for periods, spend time in isolation. Use psychedelics only as a tool.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your reply.

I think dream states can also be real depending on the experience. I have normal dreams like all others but I also have dreams that can only be described as experiencing another reality or aspect of reality. I have plenty of stories I could share but I'm not sure if this is appropriate place.

I'm not sure what to expect with psychedelics but I'm hoping for experiences like the one you're describing. I, like you, am spiritually oriented for lack of a better term. My spirituality is literally the most important part of my existence. Nothing else really matters to me. Like I stated in my original post, I'm a seeker. I've experienced a part of reality that I don't think most people experience or at least it doesn't affect most people in the way it affects me. Because I seem to be naturally capable or inclined to have these experiences without the use of mind altering substances I'm extremely excited at the possibility of what I might experience with psychedelics. The only reason I'm using psychedelics at all is as a tool as you've said.

I don't care about money, sex, romantic relationships, fame, ect... I only care about coming face to face with what's inside and understanding whatever's there, if that's possible. I'm looking to 'tear down the curtain' and fully see what's behind this reality. For as long as I can remember I've have a feeling that there was something more than this reality, something underneath that is more real than everyday, waking life. I've experienced this in small yet profound glimpses in my dreams, which is not the appropriate word. In the west dreams are nothing; worthless, funny, little movies our subconscious plays while we sleep, but they can be far more than that, at least in my experience. I wish there was a word other than dream that accurately described the experiences that I'm trying to describe.

My thoughts, experiences, and emotions are very difficult to explain to others and I tend to not even try to explain or share due to the fact that almost one hundred percent of the time I've done so in the past I've been met with invalidation, judgement, and pessimism. I've came to understand a long time ago that most people (the spiritually minded included), at least the one's I've met, have their own beliefs about 'how it is' and 'how it should be done' and are incredibly intolerant of anyone holding differing beliefs or opinions. I've discovered that people love telling others what is 'not possible'. I honestly can't remember a single time where I've tried to share my experiences, beliefs, thoughts, or feelings and received support or even a neutral reaction. I've always experienced rejection or invalidation of some sort.

I'm rambling; I'm sorry. Due to my past experiences with sharing I've developed a defensive stance concerning these topics. I hope I didn't hurt or offend; it wasn't my intention.

Have a good one. Peace. :)
 
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