Wondering

[EsolcNesral]

Swim's a Philosophy major who used LSD, mushrooms, DMT, ect. as philosophic tools for self-realization, self-actualization, self-discovery and direct experience with intuition. After being taken by police while on a 1000+ microgram LSD was taken to psych hospital and went through that whole jazz. Ended up leaving school and isolating in an apartment alone getting heavy into fentanyl and cocaine involving IV use. Swim has got into recovery and is following the 12 step program. Looking towards a point of access to the Divine and what is Divine in man Swim has come back to his memories and experiences with DMT. Swim has experienced with DMT the transpersonal and the mystical and wonders whether further exploration with DMT will be feasible or will simply lead back to IV use of physically addictive drugs. Swim thinks the DMT experience is of great importance and is interested on others views. Swim values good conversation and hopes to have many of this forum.

 

[Enoon]

Welcome to the nexus EsolcNesral,

sounds like you've hit quite the rough patch with your experiences there.
I don't see why spice would lead back into some kind of cycle of addiction, unless maybe you either associate dmt with the other things that had you addicted, or you want to go back to using again anyway - but then the latter wouldn't be the dmt leading to it.
I have only very limited experience with addiction so I have no real advice... but I'd say keeping a critical mind about oneself goes a long way, always asking the difficult questions and not relenting until there is a satisfying answer or a resolution of the question. Also having things here in this world aside from the searches in the *other world*, to anchor one in the physical existence one is bound to anyway, undeniably, by matter, seem to help a lot. Balance seems to be key in all things; balance between metaphysical and physical existence and desires, balance between creating and destroying, progress and convolution...

I hope you find what you need in order to know what you should do.

Strength and courage for your endeavors
Love

Enoon