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Worst possible dmt trip

Migrated topic.
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DubRules

Rising Star
im well versed in dmt travel.
have seen and done most everything in the outer realms.

i just smoked an unknown amount of crystalline dmt out of a glass tube w/ chore boy in it.
left this plane of existence instantly but didnt go anywhere i recognized.
i went nowhere.
literally, it was this feeling of nothingness.
there was nothing happening, no thoughts, no beings.
nothing.
suddenly my brain switched on and realized i was dead.
dead dead dead dead dead dead.
we were so happy.
dead.
nothing to deal with anymore.
dead.
no body, no earth, no family, no nothing.
dead.
then i started to come back.
not dead.
not dead.
not dead.
what the fuckkkkkk...???
then the dmt started screaming repeatedly
KILL YOURSELF
KILL YOURSELF
KILL YOURSELF
there was an indescribable feeling of wanting to end my life.
KILL YOURSELF
just end my soul.
KILL YOURSELF
this went on until i was able to find my body again.
even then, when i became coherent, i was sobbing uncontrollably, screaming at anyone to kill me.
its been over a half an hour and im just now able to think some positive thoughts and post this.

i had no idea where else to go with this.

my life has been shitty lately, but i havent had any suicidal thoughts.
it scares me that the dmt was screaming at me to kill myself.
dmt has always been a place of inspiration and guidance in times like these, which is why i was using it.

i used to abuse dmt, but havent used it for months in an effort to regain its trust.

i have never felt the utter despair and self loathing as i felt this morning.
why did dmt do this to me ?
 
This is the risk of going into the experience without devotional intent. Only the higher beings of light, Sophia/Gaia/God Prime Creator can give you protection in these risky realms. These include spaces populated by the Archons- beings that are at enmity with humanity. I would always be sure to bathe my consciousness with prayer and set my intention on what is highest and noblest and most worthy. In my honest opinion, it's insane to broach these realms without a heart filled with loving devotion for "God". The Archons trick, lie, decieve and are insanely jealous of humanity because we are bearers of a Divine Light that they know not (at least within themselves).

My recommend is seek "God" in the way that feels right for you. Isn't this what life is ultimately all about? We have that light within as a witness and guide and which acts as a lodestone to help us return to our "home" or original essence as pure beings of light.

"May all beings love and be loved- May all beinmgs be happy and free- May all beings awaken to thier true nature"

Hope this helps a little friend : )
 
DMT did'nt do anything at you.
You did this and this was amplified above bounds by the DMT.
I would suggest you to speak about your life problems to a real person (not only virtual people in forums), eventually professional help.
That's maybe what is "saying" the DMT (yourself in fact). I think that you need help... and no more DMT before a while.
 
Garulfo said:
DMT did'nt do anything at you.
You did this and this was amplified above bounds by the DMT.
I would suggest you to speak about your life problems to a real person (not only virtual people in forums), eventually professional help.
That's maybe what is "saying" the DMT (yourself in fact). I think that you need help... and no more DMT before a while.
Click to expand...

If he wasn't having suicidal thoughts before, and never experienced anything like this outside of doing DMT, I'd say the DMT played a large role in this. I'd just stop smoking DMT to tell you the truth, if that happened to me, I'd stop, simple as that. Could be some psychological issue, but if it only surfaces in the DMT realm, it's not really a problem unless you do DMT.
 
If that happened to me... I'd do it again. Only less.

DMT told me to beat someone up once. I held that thought, let myself settle, then thought carefully about it... Turns out I wasn't thinking straight.

Go figure.
 
this is where it is confusing.

i used to abuse dmt a lot.
i would smoke it more than a dozen times a day.
i had the worst intentions going into those trips, and always had the best times.
many of them were breakthroughs and i gained a guardian entity who would travel with me to make sure i stayed safe.
my use then was totally recreational though.
many of the times i used it to maintain a body high, not for its psychedelic properties.
as i used it more, i began to feel guilty of my abuse.
i stopped use all together a few months ago.

today, i needed guidance and went into the experience well prepared.
the dmt didnt want to take me anywhere though.
just to limbo.

i do believe in God, and i do believe that where i am going after death is a better place.
im pretty sure my soul was jumping for joy at the thought of my body being no longer.
for an instant, it thought it had escaped the clutches of it's vessel, and was finally free to fly through space.
when, it started to get sucked back into my body is when it began to scream "kill yourself".

i want what my soul wants.
not my body.
 
On some level, doesn't your soul want to be here too? To learn, or for some other reason? If there was nothing to gain from being here, I don't imagine that we would be here, but that's my opinion. How long were you smoking it that often for?
 
I think going into it trying to solve personal problems in your life is insane. I heard of people doing it because they have depression lately or anger issues and they do it to deal with these issues right as they are having the issue. That is quite a scary prospect in my opinion. Man I wont get near the stuff unless I have had an excellent day and am feeling good enough to do it. Deal with your problems in the real world then venture into the unknown to fix somethings about yourself on a good day. DMT is NOT a depression cure all. It is a sacrament that shows us our true nature. Please respect it for that.
 
What could it mean? It can mean everything and nothing. We can only speculate, but you have to interpret this for yourself. We can make suggestions - but you decide if you wanna take them to heart...or if you feel that there's something else behind this.

If DMT shows us love at all times why is something horrible like your experience so very real?

I would think that there is a force behind this love. We have to accept love. If we don't accept it we have to take the consequences...and that could very well be death. I don't think that god wants you dead. I don't think that there were evil spirits involved.

I would see it as a sarcastic comment to wake you up.

OR

It could have been an all to simple translation from outer space language to english.

You were closer to the source ...were you want to be...your mind called it "death". "Kill yourself" is only a logic answer to the problem of beeing away from the source, beeing away from the force of love. A better translation of this message could be:

Do what you have to do!

...and it certainly does not mean to physically kill yourself.
 
yeah people tend to get in a DMT experience what they take in,
that's your experience filter if you will.

people i know who have had unpleasant experiences have re-balanced using a number of useful methods.

1] go in again with a 50% dose, [or e.g. 20mg]

2] sort your life perspective out and only go in when you are in at least some form of good headspace

3] learn a meditation technique [e.g. vipassana],
you can then
a] clear your mind to an extent before you go into the DMT experience [so you take in less unnecessary baggage]
b] when you are in the DMT experience and you get involved in thought [e.g. like you had], you can re-balance to so as to just be experience and observation of it, not roller-coasted and carried by the thoughts (espc when they are negative).
 
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Go back in, now!

I have said this before and will say it again. The first part of my journey is the CLEANSING part where all my psyche is held up to the light. Positve and negative both are shown. If you havent used in a while then perhaps you have some stored negativity and this was amplified.

Mostly I agree with Nodice. Don't go in unless you have had a positive day. However, since you have already gone in and gotten the bad stuff out, I would dive back on in. Meditate beforehand on intent, but GO!


Mindset is as important as 'set set'.


I am sure the next journey will have you right where you want to be. Bathed in light.

Go back in, now!



E
 
DubRules said:
i want what my soul wants.
not my body.
Click to expand...

It sounds to me like your soul wants healing.
I suggest that you should only use something as powerful as DMT when you are strong enough to cope with facing yourself straight on, and facing yourself with good feeling. Be aware that psychedelics amplify good and bad.
From reading your posts, I would suggest to stay away from spice until you work things out and become more comfortable and happy with who you are. Work with others who may be able to help you center yourself, then return to spice when you can say you are really comfortable ( within a reasonable degree) in your own mind and body.
 
nodice said:
I think going into it trying to solve personal problems in your life is insane. I heard of people doing it because they have depression lately or anger issues and they do it to deal with these issues right as they are having the issue. That is quite a scary prospect in my opinion. Man I wont get near the stuff unless I have had an excellent day and am feeling good enough to do it. Deal with your problems in the real world then venture into the unknown to fix somethings about yourself on a good day. DMT is NOT a depression cure all. It is a sacrament that shows us our true nature. Please respect it for that.
Click to expand...

Very, very well said Nodice. I've learned to live by this for my spice journeys.
It's sometimes hard to analyse your own state of mind to determine if the time is right, but very important to reach deep for that little clicking feeling within you that says stop or go. If that little click always says go, you may not be taking it seriously enough which would indicate problems that need to be resolved. Such is the life we all deal with.
 
my dmt journeys haven't been the same since i began reading strassman.
i dont know why, but i haven't had a trip since then that hasn't been difficult.

i have smoked a lotttttt of dmt and my views on it were pretty solid until recently.
i never worried about dose.
my most profound trips came off of resin hits or small unknown doses.
for me, the amount of dmt ingested made no difference.
the spice took me where it wanted to take me.
always, all i had to do was smoke and be happy.
it wasn't until a few months ago that i actually experienced a "misfire" and didn't get off.
then some of the trips started getting dark.
so i quit.
dmt is funny.
i would use it all day every day, just laying around the house flying through space.
then my space travel partner moved out to oakland, and i was alone.
i didnt touch it for almost three months and my jar was on the shelf next to my bed.
i saw it every day, but it didn't want me to use it.
then i made a new friend.
she had a terminal illness, and dmt helped her deal with some inevitabilities.
we began traveling together, and it was good for both of us.
i began to have darker trips than her and stopped my use for about a month.
then yesterday.....

someone pm'd me and suggested that i have drug induced psychosis.
this is the first time ive ever been depressed.
whether on drugs or off.
the page im looking at sites methamphetamines as a stong cause of psychosis.
i hadnt had any type of amphetamine in my system for at least a week prior to yesterday.
still, it could have been damage from prior use..
 
DMT is a great motivator to get your life in check on all levels mind body spirit. Bad to do when there is turmoil in your life. Works better when your in a good mindset with no baggage. It can teach you how to live your life in a better way. I've been stuck in limbo a few times. Verbalizing your thoughts can help to bring you out of it if your stuck. Talk to yourself, it works when you get in trouble in there.
 
Lower doses seem to fix this..I personally dont understand what thehell people are talking about when they say anything less than a breakthrough gives them disphoria..never ever experienced that even at doses with no visuals at all..low doses of DMT always feel near identical to psilocin to me..

My most profound DMT experiences have been at the sub-breakthrough level where I am still on this side of the veil..every time it got weird and overly difficult was at higher doses where I was trying to push myself to go farther..those doses are significant for me as well..but i come out of it feeling more shook up and happy to be back than the lighter doses where I feel ecstatic and full of love.

A good cappi brew and mid dose of smoked DMT is one of the most beautiful things I can imagine..hard to have a negative journey that way.
 
fractal enchantment said:
Lower doses seem to fix this..I personally dont understand what thehell people are talking about when they say anything less than a breakthrough gives them disphoria
Click to expand...

Ditto.

Me and a couple of friends had a session with 1:1 caapi changa where we started at 10mg and worked our way up in increments of 10. The lower doses most noticable effects were extreme euphoria. This only intensfied as the dose got higher.
 
Hey Dubrules, here are my two cents, hope it can help. :)

When the mind is screaming kill yourself, you must realize what that means.

In my opinion, this means kill your mind, kill your thoughts, stop thinking, stop thinking about killing, realize you exist because of thoughts, while your true self is emptiness, no self! like you experienced, the empty nothing, but it didn't last did it? So remember, let go of the mind and thoughts, don't even think kill yourself, surrender is death, nonthinking is death, non judgment is death, nothingness is death. Be the gaps of space that fill your thinking, and breath. Stop thinking that "kill yourself" means kill your soul or your body, it means kill your made up self, your thoughts and your attachment to thoughts.

Just my opinion.
 
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Please answer this question. Have you been to see the movie 'Avatar'?


Folks have been having strange reactions to this movie of late...


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People have been having strange reactions from seeing the movie Avatar? I saw it and have not experienced any strange reactions. Can you explain what you mean, Espiridion? I'm curious as to what negative effects it is having on others...
 
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