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Wow. Changa is scary.

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TheAppleCore

TheAppleCore

Rising Star
O.K.

So, for pretty much my entire psychedelic career, I'd been smoking straight DMT crystal. From this, I learned the mantra, "SMOKE MORE!". I had to smoke as much as I possibly could choke down, in order to get the right level of immersion in hyperspace. Those experiences were, at best, earth-shatteringly beautiful; at worst, depressingly dull and eventless.

Now that I'm experimenting a bit more with changa, and of course carrying over the same SMOKE MORE philosophy, the results are shockingly different. It seems that I am now able to reach a point where the immersion in hyperspace is SO unbelievably intense, that it becomes truly frightening. Of course, in retrospect I know that I am not in any real physical danger; BUT, during the trip itself, I just can't shake the idea that I have gone so far that I've posed a serious danger to myself. These changa trips have been decidedly the scariest events of my life. :shock:

The problem is, it seems like there are wonderful and fascinating mysteries waiting to be explored in this realm of hyperspace, if only I could actually spend the trip CALMLY PAYING ATTENTION rather than panicking in fear for my life. Has anyone had the same difficulty? Have you overcome it? If so, how?
 
I know what you mean.

I have found it useful as a preparation to spend some time in meditation. I'll get the set and setting just right both externally and internally, light a candle, burn some incense, perhaps even a bit of prayer (whatever you're comfortable with). I had a very positive changa experience last night with these things in mind. I decided this time that I would keep my eyes closed the entire time -- from smoking to immersion into hyperspace. I found that a) I had less things to distract me from the experience and b)The potential anxiety of seeing the world/room I am accustomed to and comfortable melt away into something totally different was gone, in such a way that I could fully enter into this experience with no fear.

I stayed in a half lotus position until I simply *had* to lay down. There did come a point when I was out where I wondered "What if there is the possibility that I completely lose myself here and a part of me never returns?", but this was snuffed out by reminding myself that I would probably be the first example of this ever occurring, and that everything I know and have experienced with spice has proven to me that it will indeed pass, and when it is completely gone, I will be amazed at how thoroughly I have recovered from the experience.

There really is nothing to be afraid of. Just keep your outer and inner environment in check, make sure your motives are clear, try to let go of any expectations -- even expectations you've had from prior journeys, and just go with it. The moment we resist, that fear manifests something different. I mean, hell, last night I saw an entity emit an object that had thousands in sharp, shiny, steely arms that were extending out at me, and I was totally okay with it because I kept in mind, "This being is merely making a demonstration and trying to teach me something in the process. He means me no harm."

So in that sense, I was just calmly paying attention. It is a practice, and I am not even able to pull that calm feeling off on every journey, but it's getting easier. Just listen to yourself and know your limits, you should be fine.
 
I've had the same difficulty with changa. Changa had a sort of intensity, for me, that pure DMT really didn't compare to, at all. Pure DMT for me was, as you said, 'SMOKE MORE!'. I carried this over to changa and found myself terrified practically every time I smoked a large amount at once, although this terror would often instantly resolve during the experience to give way to a state of peace. I have had a journey or two that didn't resolve during the experience -- there was just sort of a tapered comedown from the fear/terror. I'm not sure if it was any one thing that I 'did' to have the terror resolve, or if it just resolved itself. I can't say that I've found any 'way' to overcome/accept/whatever-you-want-to-call-it the fear/terror. I have smoked small amounts of changa (i.e. building up), but I haven't really done it to a point that I was having a full-on experience; I don't recall having much/any fear from these small doses, so maybe building up is a viable option.

I can say that, personally, I felt a responsibility to myself to smoke changa; I thought that it could help me with whatever perceived problems I had and that it would make me a better person by helping me overcome fear. I read the posts around here in which people would rave about it, and I wanted it to be the same for me; I was jealous, at times. So I pursued it despite my fear and so I had this inner conflict: "I want to smoke changa, and I want it to be, for me, the way it is for these other people, but it's just so jarring". I felt this obligation to smoke it and I think this obligation impacted my experiences in a negative way; it sort of 'forced' me to smoke, which, I don't think, is the most comfortable way to go about this business.

So, I haven't smoked for 5 months now and have no designs to in the future, but who knows. This is what I've done and I don't mean to recommend it; I just mention it because it is an option.
 
a lot of swims sessions now are very gental, just working with swims energy, cleansing then if need be blasting off after swims adjusted to the water. you can go slow with changa, it doesn't need to be scary.
You don't need to take a huge hit, you don't need to blast off. Smoking changa is really different technique wise then spice alone. What's swim thinks is important is getting the maoi levels high enough so thatyou can be smoking it for a few hours at your own pace. This requires getting a good blend with enough harmala in it. Smoke a little, meditate, breath, ground, move blocked energy, breath, listen... Smoke more, repeate.

Another thing one can do that's helpful is focus on the inner voice phenomena that both changa and aya provide. If one thinks of that voice as the voice of what you smoked and allow it to guide you, protect you, heal you and teach you... It's a fairly wonderful experience, communing. It's one of he few medicines that does that, so might as well take advantage of it.
 
Thank you so much. The pacing advice was perfect. I now see that this was exactly the nature of my error: going WAY too far, WAY too fast, which was oddly the style that DMT freebase encouraged.

I sat down again tonight, and smoked what was left in the bowl after my previous hellish encounter, approaching it slowly, reflecting carefully upon the level that each successive hit took me; and it was the POLAR opposite of my previous experiences: warm, loving, and magical! Unfortunately there was not enough material in my pipe to take me much deeper than those welcoming feelings. But my devotion to the practice, and unwillingness to abandon trial and error, even in the face of unimaginable terror, has been rewarded! =) I'm excited to see where this stuff takes me next.

Reflecting on the nightmare that I went through last night, I chuckle to myself. It really was absolutely ruthless, my God... I don't think I could have achieved a much more grueling combination of mind-wrenching psychedelia and sheer panic. I feel a deep sense of pride for reassembling myself after being shattered so thoroughly.
 
Yeah pace is what its all about for me.
Taking it slowly and appreciating the level to which the last drag took me. Then setting the pipe down and just flowing with the experience, only topping up when I need to.

I will never look back.
 
HermeticShaman said:
There really is nothing to be afraid of. Just keep your outer and inner environment in check, make sure your motives are clear, try to let go of any expectations -- even expectations you've had from prior journeys, and just go with it. The moment we resist, that fear manifests something different.
Click to expand...

I would say that this is good advice for life, not just DMT :)
 
Warming up your mind is always a good idea, i usually start with a small dose something around 30mg changa then work up to a full dose of around 100mg (i use 1:3)

That way you can dealwith any bad vibes on the first smaller hits so you won´t get a nasty suprise when going all in.
 
I got my own changa ritual too.
I wait till late night till city sleeps.
Light up one candle and turn off the lights. Darkness is essential for me.
Drink caapi only brew from 10g-15g of wine.
Put smile on my face and meditate... This is essential for me
When my mind is clear and more less thoughtless and I'm just calm smiling observer then I start to hit dmt with caapi leaves.
First with 10mg. Later 20...30...
I usually stop at dawn:d

Sometimes changa surprises me at doses over 40mg with intensity, but it is not scary. It's...


Regards.
 
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