you again!? again?

[open'nheart]

iv been having these re-occuring expiriences with a hyper-spacial mantis like character.
the first encounter was over a year ago during the strongest aya voyage iv yet taken....
"im finding myself once again in the tunnel, that geometric vortex spiraling in both directions towards the light. the sound...the buzzing sound, the sound of a crowd gathered on the other side. of many i sence, its the mantis who captures my attention. i dont feel any ill intent from him, his presence is sterile and strange. still... i trust him"

i find myself both attracted to and repulsed by this particular presence, and by the image of the praying mantis in general.
about him...i dont feel much from him, i guess thats what i mean by sterile. he seems sterile and at the same time i feel like his presence embodies some kind of healing force. he seems like a machine or program of sorts that does simply what he is designed to do.

anyway, this re-occuring character has made a handful of appearances, generally in subtler ways, but my psyche has come to adopt the mantis as a symbol of my hyperspace.
last nights changa journey i felt this character in a different way. i didnt see him, but i felt him/it in my body...the musculature in my neck "melted" in a way that allowed my head to move and tilt freely in ways that felt very mantoid, and i became a mantis for a time. "I" didnt feel alone.
strange to hear myself say, but im begining to feel like some part of me has merged with this energy/being on some level. its making me feel uncertain about my expireinces. "is this just a temparary phase reflecting my own confusion? is this real? is this somthing im projecting? is this a good thing? a not good thing? what of my sanity?"

i guess im wondering if anyone else has expireinced and integrated or transmuted this sort of thing in their own journey with spice. i also wonder if this is somthing that is commonly expirienced in this community. at times iv gotten the sence that this is precisely the sort of thing ayahuasca/dmt does to a person, other times i just feel crazy.

...talk to me

 

[Luciapath]

During my first and only breakthrough experience I entered hyperspace with my friend and I got the impression that we were melting into each other, then the whole next day I was acting like him and kind of felt like him as well (of course I can't know this for sure). Very strange.

 

[88]

Open'nheart - you are not alone. I know exactly what you're talking about - your report sent shivers up my spine. If it helps, I don't think you're crazy. I've met and become mantoid too ...

Instantly the scene changed. It was dark blue and black with neon lime buzzing trim and sparks of electric blue, and 'flatter' than the jimjam space, in the sense that it felt like perception in our world - it was 3D, rather than the 5 (or more) dimensional space from which I'd just been teleported.

I found myself right up against two mantoids. I was so close, I was almost inside of them.

They stood upright, and were maybe a foot taller than me; obsidian and blue, with smooth shiny hard skin; sheathed from the neck down in black cloaks that seemed biological, a part of them. They had oval heads that slanted forward, mandibles that looked almost metallic, and complex eyes - which they suddenly trained on me.

I felt a bit giddy to find myself centimetres from these beings - and was quite sharply informed that they didn't do the whole cuddly giggly love thing here. They had serious work to do, and it would be good if I sharpened up, as they were keen to get on with it.

I was quickly shuffled off to another space within their realm which was packed as tight as possible with a battalion of these creatures - and I was one of them; one amongst their ranks. But we had no cloaks, though; which made me think the beings I'd first met had been the leaders, or generals, perhaps. I was a foot soldier, and we were doing fairly complex group maneuvers, which were happening pretty quick. I had to be on my toes and sharp to keep up with them and not bump into those next to me.

I often experienced 'transposition of the soul' - being another being; hearing their thoughts, tasting their essence from within ... sometimes I think its the mentality of a plant consciousness - if you are in their orbit, you must be an insect, and actually the plant controls the insect chemically. I don't know; just a thought.

much love

 

[Felnik]

I have not met the mantids you speak of or many clearly defined characters for that matter.

I have however experienced a feeling of becoming merged with hyperspace.
Its very abstract in one sense because I was not merged with an entity. I became merged with the geometry of hyperspace. Becoming merged to an alien reality frame work is apparently very terrifying to myself.

I think when that happens it can definitely mess with your sanity for a while . Your not alone, hang in there if your feeling a little wacky give it some time.