• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

You found me!

Migrated topic.
Julz

Julz

Rising Star
Hi, I feel like this site just found me- what is it that you say "you don't go looking for the experience, the experience finds you"? I was looking for something and well, here you are. What a great community; intelligent conversation, caring attitudes, respect for each other- all things I appreciate. Writing a letter of introduction is hard I think, but a good idea- these posts from others really seem to tell a lot about where a person is coming from. Based on the posts I have read thus far, especially the stickies, I sense that this is a community that I would like to be a part of. It feels comfortable.

I'm old enough to have been around the block and back, experimenting with different hallucinogens like LSD, mushrooms, and other drugs through most of my adult life with time off for raising kids, who are now entering adulthood. Some drugs were pure recreation, some were addictive, and some produced events and feelings that were really memorable, positive experiences that I have held close to my heart, hoping and waiting for the chance to visit those realms again. Recently, last 4 or 5 yrs or so, I have gone through a lot of changes in my life and am reassessing where I am right now, where I think I might be headed, what I have left behind, and probably other things that I should just let be. Seeking. Something. I've traveled a lot; most recently Brasil is the place that calls me. I go, I explore, I keep my eyes open, looking, and yet still have to come back home, somewhat unsatisfied. Then I go back again... eyes open, checking things out, following the call.

Last winter/summer, I had the opportunity to drink cha, ayahuasca, with some new friends. It was a surprise to me, an opportunity to experience something that I had wanted, but didn't know how it would come about. This interest was based on reports from friends who had made journeys to Peru for the same, with shamans, lots of preparatory ritual, cleansing, etc. They had explained their trips in quite a bit of detail, and they had found it transformative. I had also bought the DMT book by Strassman, but hadn't read it, and therefore really knew nothing of what I might expect. (I just read it yesterday... good read, lots of science, not what I expected exactly, still more questions tho!)

Since I know my sensitivities to substances and energies, and was rather unprepared, I only drank a half dose- I'm glad. It was nice, clean, clear... just a taste, I now know. Also, I knew that I wouldn't really be completely comfortable in the setting we were in, and not speaking the language really well at that point, didn't want to get too far from this side of things, being somewhat cautious is a reasonable policy. Even with a small dose, I did learn quite a bit about myself, the power of thought and energy, the connection between each of us and my own internal stumbling blocks. I think it was a good decision to go light, and now I really want to learn more, understand more, and look for guidance and support to prepare for new voyages when those opportunities present themselves.

I'm also an artist, different materials, and see great potential to open my creativity to new energies, unblock some channels that have gone dormant. I have been having some really great conversations about DMT based experiences, spirituality and life changes with some good friends on another site lately, and with them have learned about how important community is when trying to sort out where you are and where you fit. I'm happy to know that at least one of those trusted souls is already a member here, and has given me a vote of confidence that the Nexus site is a good place to be.

Thanks for the opportunity to introduce myself
 
Oh yay! An artist!

The banners at the top are all member contributed.
There's a thread explaining the banners, what they need to contain and more!

The Nexus is a wonderful place full of compassion for fellow people. It truly lives up to the "Learn, Share, Expand" motto in the banners.


Welcome!
 
Thanks for the welcome!

I'll look into the banners... just getting a feel for the site, and see that the banner changes often... cool.
 
Hey my Friend, I love your graphic! There is some really nice art here, isn't there? I need to go looking for some to dress up the profile, or make some- even better.

This is a great site- I'm really enjoying exploring and reading, feeding me. Have you seen the psychedelic ink in the Tavern? Wowza.
 
Glad we found you...we were getting bloody well tired of looking around everywhere and we were about to call off the whole search party....when there you were.


WELCOME!!!
 
Julz said:
Hey my Friend, I love your graphic! There is some really nice art here, isn't there? I need to go looking for some to dress up the profile, or make some- even better.

This is a great site- I'm really enjoying exploring and reading, feeding me. Have you seen the psychedelic ink in the Tavern? Wowza.
Click to expand...

Yes there are some really talented artists here for sure, one of the things I liked about the place right off. Check out the "art bin" if you haven't already. They're also making a colab piece for a new entry page, I wish I'd been able to be a part of that. But I'll just put together some banners instead. I actually hadn't noticed the ink thread yet but I'll definitely go find it now!
 
Thanks Eliyahu- I was wondering when I was going to get here!

My lips are sealed... and my mind inspired.
but why feel odd about sharing work- surely it can be cropped/modified in such a way as to hide your identity? Or maybe this is an opportunity to branch out a bit, a different media perhaps?

I guess I feel that I live in such relative anonymity that no one would know my work anyway... but maybe I should not be so flip about it. Is there a general sense that lurkers are tellers or a threat to the community? Should I modify my 'name' to reflect something other than who I call myself today, or what others call me? Hrmmm, pondering. Names are funny things...

Can I change my 'name' so easily?
 
Nah I think Julz is a fine name, there's nothing particularly identifiable about that. I probably don't really have anything to worry about either, I'm just prone to paranoia.
 
Howdy Julz!

Glad to have you here. I like the spirit of your introduction.

Personally, I found you by your post on another thread... I guess you kind of found me. I appreciate your kind words, and want to wish you an enlightening time here in our rather peculiar corner of the net.

The Nexus does find a lot of people... in the way a candle finds moths on a dark night. Only instead of destroying you, the flame ignites your soul and in those breakthrough, ego death moments you will hear about if you hang out here... you are not injured or damaged... but transformed.

That said, there are real and present dangers on this path, and a healthy dose of caution is a valuable asset. In your intro you described your ayahuasca introduction, and you seem to have the caution part covered. I must say, though, that half doses of ayahuasca rarely produce any effects whatsoever. Both the MAOI component and the DMT component must reach certain threshold levels to have anything more than extremely mild psychoactivity. A great many people are left disappointed even when shooting for a healthy dose... aya can be tricky like that.

(I am guessing that either A) you are rather light in bodyweight or B) your friends make a rather strong brew)

Anyway, you will find plenty of info here on all manner of formerly secret and obscured subjects... most of them even pertain to entheogen use somehow.
:lol:

All the best Julz
HF
 
Hi Hyperspace!
There's so much stuff that I want to ask about, so much... I read and read and read yesterday and last night... so many stories and experiences... and so much new-to-me information to consider.

Yes, I am cautious- not only because I am VERY sensitive to all drugs, and energies, but also wary by nature and have some trust/security concerns. I didn't want to go too far (as much as I really would have wanted to in a different setting) because I really didn't know exactly what herbs were in the brew, how my body would react to them, and plus, a BIG language barrier (none of my friends there speak English, and my portugues at that time was functional, but not big on certain descriptive or expressive vocabulary :) )... combined with a beach setting ='not secure'... all that made for a cautious approach.

I did feel nice body effects, and "nice" visuals, felt a great connection with our singer, my friends, but was able to maintain a clear awareness of what was going on around me, and for that I was really glad. *insert story here* It was very much like a good batch of mushrooms with LSD thrown in, and the sense of connection with all of everything was a lot like MDMA, but without the speed, chatters, and spins. All in all, it was very clean and clear, my body liked it, and I felt good the next day. All pluses in my book. My art liked it too!

Curiously, I swear our singer sang to me in English, but he doesn't speak English- I understand a high percentage of what I hear spoken to me (in PRT), and speak several other foreign languages besides, but I wonder... can the songs be a universal language? Was it a telepathic song? Whatever it was, it worked for me, it was spot on as far as knowing what I needed, my energy... he was always right there with me, and I appreciated that.

A fair start, just a taste, I know that. Very interested to go much further, but certainly, it has to be in a totally different, more secure setting and/or possibly with my own sitter/protector. Call me cautious, but I'd rather be really safe when I travel.

I think that's why I'm here... to learn more, and to be able to make more informed choices and have access to better resources.
Thanks so much for the Nexus- a safe zone if I ever felt one.
 
Julz said:
Hi Hyperspace!
There's so much stuff that I want to ask about, so much... I read and read and read yesterday and last night... so many stories and experiences... and so much new-to-me information to consider.

Yes, I am cautious- not only because I am VERY sensitive to all drugs, and energies, but also wary by nature and have some trust/security concerns. I didn't want to go too far (as much as I really would have wanted to in a different setting) because I really didn't know exactly what herbs were in the brew, how my body would react to them, and plus, a BIG language barrier (none of my friends there speak English, and my portugues at that time was functional, but not big on certain descriptive or expressive vocabulary :) )... combined with a beach setting ='not secure'... all that made for a cautious approach.

I did feel nice body effects, and "nice" visuals, felt a great connection with our singer, my friends, but was able to maintain a clear awareness of what was going on around me, and for that I was really glad. *insert story here* It was very much like a good batch of mushrooms with LSD thrown in, and the sense of connection with all of everything was a lot like MDMA, but without the speed, chatters, and spins. All in all, it was very clean and clear, my body liked it, and I felt good the next day. All pluses in my book. My art liked it too!

Curiously, I swear our singer sang to me in English, but he doesn't speak English- I understand a high percentage of what I hear spoken to me (in PRT), and speak several other foreign languages besides, but I wonder... can the songs be a universal language? Was it a telepathic song? Whatever it was, it worked for me, it was spot on as far as knowing what I needed, my energy... he was always right there with me, and I appreciated that.

A fair start, just a taste, I know that. Very interested to go much further, but certainly, it has to be in a totally different, more secure setting and/or possibly with my own sitter/protector. Call me cautious, but I'd rather be really safe when I travel.

I think that's why I'm here... to learn more, and to be able to make more informed choices and have access to better resources.
Thanks so much for the Nexus- a safe zone if I ever felt one.
Click to expand...

A sitter is always a good idea... even for veterans. Of course, most of us wind up blasting off without one once we amass a certain level of confidence in the materials and our ability to handle them. This is generally because it is hard to find a good sitter... someone you trust implicitly, and who is okay with you doing drugs, and who doesn't feel the need to join you in wonderland necessarily... and who has the time to babysit you (more of an issue with Aya than with smoalked spice).

In this instance, 3 out of 4 isn't really good enough... though we take what we can get, I suppose. ;-) And, people who have sat for you before may not be interested in it becoming a regular favor.

I know that I can barely deal with sitting sober for someone else myself. I generally just trip with them and lead or support them on their journey... perhaps taking a bit less than my normal dose to be especially conscious for them and their issues... perhaps. In the end, though, no one can completely trust another person to be responsible for them. We, as psychonauts, have to do ample research, patiently assay the materials we collect, and keep an keen eye towards safety.

A good motto for this stuff is to always err on the side of caution.

Thankfully, it is relatively easy to baby proof your environment... and it is possible to maintain a very keen awareness of what is going on in most cases. Nothing is truly fool-proof though... and Hyperspace is literally teeming with fools. Hehehehe.

I guess it just comes down to doing the best you can do, double or triple checking everything, being as prepared as you can possibly be... and then just going for it with faith that you will be looked after (if only by your superconscious mind).

I am generally not a blind faith kind of guy... but if you can't trust yourself or the Universe, who the hell can you trust?

Anyway, great to have you here.

Oh, and yes, in my experience DMT often acts like a Babelfish or universal translator. It even gets some folks speaking in tongues. (Though that is more of a Salvia thing) Also time can be dilated and experiences drastically altered if you slip into alternate universes, higher dimensions, or other odd places. Hyperspace in general can be confoundingly confounding in that what seems like a clear connection to your normal life can change before your eyes to something entirely else. Music you know very well playing in the background of a spice lift off can morph and take on new instruments, alternate lyrics, entirely new verses etc. I have mentioned here before about having David Bowie come out of a folding room to sing me 15 exclusive and personal verses to Starman seem-lessly interwoven with the actual song playing on the stereo.

OK, gotta run. Coffee is ready!!

HF
 
Ah good to know about the universal translator... cuz I was really wondering just how I was understanding him so well. Wonder if my portugues improves if/when I am out there far enough. I know that that skill is impeded by just thinking too darned much. hehe, the Universal Translator probably better results than "bing" or "google translator"- those sites suck.

Re: Sitters :) I have taught my sons to be good sitters, and one is so especially good at it that he has been requested at trips by friends, out of town even... We had a funny experience here once, without them thinking too far into the process of tripping, and well, they got a talking to about how to trip sit, and how important it is, and also what a gift it is. Now they've got it well in mind, and I am proud of them. They don't have a lot of experience with heavier psychs, but all in good time.

Thx again
Julz
 
Back
Top Bottom