majapanix
Rising Star
Hi
Just joined the forum, I posted my most recent daydream in 'introductory essays' and then realised it probably should have gone here. So, I thought instead I'd post my write up of my very first time. I have revisited the strange place recently, and although the entities were completely different, the location (the road outside my house) was the same, and the method of communication (signs/objects forcing me to choose) were the same. However my conclusions and learnings were different reflecting my increased experience.
Also I have some sketches I made of this experience which I will put online.
Pre-launch
Having sat for a while encased in my blanket, T's tone suddenly became much more serious. I realised she was giving me the kind of preparatory talk which I have frequently given to people who consider trying anything for the first time, but there was something very earnest and serious about this talk. She reminded me I was among friends, and that I should not fight what would happen to me. There was a strange ring to the words which filled me with trepidation. Why was I doing this? Did I really want to experience this?
Then P came out to the balcony. He turned to T and mouthed the question whether I had started, she said no. He then laughed at me cocooned in the leopardskin blanket. I relaxed. His talk if anything was more sobering.
He said again that I should accept the experience and not fight it, and that I should be prepared to see what it was going to show me. He also told me the most important rule of his house, that no-one would die there. This was not to say that he would throw me out on the street, but that such an event simply could not happen there for some reason. I greatly appreciated such certainty, and knew from my previous psy experiences that was an invaluable fact to hold on to.
Due to the wind on the balcony we had some trouble lighting the pipe, and I am not a hardcore smoker so was nervous I would fail to take in the right amount of smoke. Many accounts I had read described the smoke as harsh and I knew I would have to take a deep breath and hold it into my lungs. In my first attempt I took in a small amount of smoke and P told me to exhale quickly. For my second attempt P sucked on the pipe and filled it with smoke. I sealed the top of the bong with my mouth and breathed in as hard as I could. My lungs filled and I started to lean back into the bean bag.
My last memory before it took hold was giving P the thumbs up as I felt a sudden onset about half a second after I finished my breath.
The Tunnel
I leaned back and as I did so my vision of the skyline started to spread out, a little like double vision or the sort of 'trails' you may see with weaker allies. This lasted about a quarter of a second.
I then got a remarkable feeling. I felt my heart beat a single time in my chest, but I could feel every part of it, and a sense it was in a chamber. As the blood circulated around my body following the heart beat, I felt every artery and capillary dilate and I felt the flow of blood. I felt my lungs and the breath come out through my trachea, my mouth and my lips. I felt every nerve throughout my body. I had total awareness of every part of my body and understood the incredible complexity and interconnectedness of it.
Then the land disappeared and I stared up to the sky as an incredible vision appeared. It appeared to be three triangles sliding down from the sky, one on each side of me and one directly in front. The triangles were curved as if they were on the inside of an invisible cylinder. The triangles consisted of rows of coloured squares; so one square at the bottom, two squares above, three squares above that, arranged in a brickwork pattern. Each square had a number or a mathematical symbol on it. I do not recall seeing any complex symbols or computer-specific ones, just the standard add, subtract, divide and multiply.
At the top of each triangle the squares met so that there were cylindrical rows of squares with numbers. These rows slid round in different directions and speeds like a combination lock, but of course on the inside of a cylinder instead of the outside.
The vision was incredibly bright and vivid. The colours were primary, red, green, yellow and blue, with each triangle being mainly a different colour, but some squares on the cylinder changing colours. Each number/symbol morphed constantly into other numbers and symbols. The clarity, intensity of colour, detail and movement was unlike anything I have seen before, either under the influence or not. I could see pixellations on the side of numbers, but again even at this level this seemed to morph in and out between smooth-edged numbers. Through gaps between each square I could see the sky.
I should say some more about the clarity. An interesting subsequent account I read stated that someone had seen more clearly because their 'daydream' vision was not subject to the 'area of focus' effect that you see when looking at something. There is only a narrow range of cone cells in the human eye and most of what you see is out of focus and poorly perceived, even made up by the visual cortex (hence some optical illusions). Despite its incredible lucidity, the vision is not seen by your eyes, but is in sharp focus across in your mind's eye.
The pulsing, sliding, detailed tunnel of numbers also appeared to be being fed/maintained by things. This is a hard detail to recall, but I had a sense of entities either flying around or walking at the top of the cylinder populating the number grid, or living in the tunnel, or traversing the tunnel. At all times they were distant and did not interact with me. The things spoke a language (or at least the air was full of chatter), and this was perceived as an auditory language, although of course not coming through my ears. The language consisted of consonatal sentences including words that sounded like 'Muhjappanix' (hence my forum name) and other such verbal oddities, spoken very quickly.
As the cylinder slid down, I could see the top rows breaking and twisting and at the top of the rows I could see twisting red and white shapes which I knew to be representations (ie they resembled science school models) of the DNA double helix. These surrounded the top of the cylinder. I did not have know at the time this is a common sight. All of the above happened pretty much simultanously, and lasted around 0.5 – 1 second. I can recall it extremely well, as compared to the next stage I visited, it was easy to comprehend.
An indifferent place
I left the tunnel far behind. The tunnel was still a place in three (spatial) dimensions. I believe where I went was not like this. I did not finish travelling through the tunnel in the way you would anticipate. I believe I segued out of the tunnel and arrived in a place which I christined in my own mind 'an indifferent place'.
Incredible images more strange, colourful and audacious than the tunnel flashed past my eyes. I travered through strange places, corridors and rooms, but not three-dimensionally. Different places mutated into others, sometimes almost abstract, sometimes containing every day objects. Aspects of my personality slid past, intertwined with strange and alien ideas, shapes, places, and things.
I felt a sense of a barrier, as if I had stopped. Retrospectively I believe I may have needed to breath, which my motor sensory system would have caused to kick in automatically, but in my slowed down time perception it felt like an age between breaths. Either at this point T said to me 'you have to accept' or I remembered these words. I was stuck at what felt like a crossroads. Strange small brown entities flitted about like hoverflies. They were indistinct; I could not see their faces, and their bodies vibrated around me making them appear blurred. They appeared to be wearing silver crash helmets.
The creatures were giving me a choice. The choice was 'accept, or not accept'. The two choices were presented to me in a thousand ways. I saw the creatures produce traffic lights, playing cards, stop signs, semaphore type signs, pieces of paper, all with 'accept' in green and 'not accept' in red. They crowded round me spatially, but also from many directions and strange angles. The entities appeared to display the choice in an almost cartoonish way. For example one of them seemed to hand me a silver platter with a red or green card upon it for me to pick. It was like someone theatrically handing out hor d'ouevres, which was most strange and not at all comforting. I felt like it had taken the idea from my mind.
Again this scene was incredibly intense, both in its lucidity and kinesis.
Inner thought: This is like the red pill/blue pill thing in the Matrix (I am not a huge fan of the film). I must accept.
I do not know how I mouthed the words but I felt a breath escape my body. I felt every movement of my tongue and lips and teeth (although my body was far away from the place I was making the choice in. I felt the breath leave me: 'Accept'.
The images continued. More alien and intense. More convoluted, more unlike anything I have experienced in the past, through drug experiences or otherwise. I travelled in places where other entities were, but periodically along the way I was presented the choice to accept or not again, but always by the flitting creatures. Other things were travelling. And the places I found did not feel like just destinations, but conduits. I struggling to take in the dozens or hundred of images, scenes and the transpositions between them.
Inner thought: I have seen enough. I want to go back now. I want to remember this. My short term memory is damaged and I cannot hold on to all I am seeing to ensure I remember it.
I had a vision of a kaleidoscopic field and then the visions continued. It was not all alien. At one point I was at home with my girlfriend. Then I was in the street, outside my house. The image was so vivid I was there. Then it began to tear apart, to intermingle. I heard my child laugh and saw him from above running across the corner of my mind. The strange worlds twisted in again. It was more than real, more than being there, hyperreal and imbued with meaning.
I heard a voice. It was T.
'Are you alright?'
T's face zoomed in from many directions in many colours and became one face. I looked at her and then from the balcony to the sun setting in the sky. Every line, building a tree leaked imagery. This was more familiar territory. I had left that strange world.
------
Majapanix
Just joined the forum, I posted my most recent daydream in 'introductory essays' and then realised it probably should have gone here. So, I thought instead I'd post my write up of my very first time. I have revisited the strange place recently, and although the entities were completely different, the location (the road outside my house) was the same, and the method of communication (signs/objects forcing me to choose) were the same. However my conclusions and learnings were different reflecting my increased experience.
Also I have some sketches I made of this experience which I will put online.
Pre-launch
Having sat for a while encased in my blanket, T's tone suddenly became much more serious. I realised she was giving me the kind of preparatory talk which I have frequently given to people who consider trying anything for the first time, but there was something very earnest and serious about this talk. She reminded me I was among friends, and that I should not fight what would happen to me. There was a strange ring to the words which filled me with trepidation. Why was I doing this? Did I really want to experience this?
Then P came out to the balcony. He turned to T and mouthed the question whether I had started, she said no. He then laughed at me cocooned in the leopardskin blanket. I relaxed. His talk if anything was more sobering.
He said again that I should accept the experience and not fight it, and that I should be prepared to see what it was going to show me. He also told me the most important rule of his house, that no-one would die there. This was not to say that he would throw me out on the street, but that such an event simply could not happen there for some reason. I greatly appreciated such certainty, and knew from my previous psy experiences that was an invaluable fact to hold on to.
Due to the wind on the balcony we had some trouble lighting the pipe, and I am not a hardcore smoker so was nervous I would fail to take in the right amount of smoke. Many accounts I had read described the smoke as harsh and I knew I would have to take a deep breath and hold it into my lungs. In my first attempt I took in a small amount of smoke and P told me to exhale quickly. For my second attempt P sucked on the pipe and filled it with smoke. I sealed the top of the bong with my mouth and breathed in as hard as I could. My lungs filled and I started to lean back into the bean bag.
My last memory before it took hold was giving P the thumbs up as I felt a sudden onset about half a second after I finished my breath.
The Tunnel
I leaned back and as I did so my vision of the skyline started to spread out, a little like double vision or the sort of 'trails' you may see with weaker allies. This lasted about a quarter of a second.
I then got a remarkable feeling. I felt my heart beat a single time in my chest, but I could feel every part of it, and a sense it was in a chamber. As the blood circulated around my body following the heart beat, I felt every artery and capillary dilate and I felt the flow of blood. I felt my lungs and the breath come out through my trachea, my mouth and my lips. I felt every nerve throughout my body. I had total awareness of every part of my body and understood the incredible complexity and interconnectedness of it.
Then the land disappeared and I stared up to the sky as an incredible vision appeared. It appeared to be three triangles sliding down from the sky, one on each side of me and one directly in front. The triangles were curved as if they were on the inside of an invisible cylinder. The triangles consisted of rows of coloured squares; so one square at the bottom, two squares above, three squares above that, arranged in a brickwork pattern. Each square had a number or a mathematical symbol on it. I do not recall seeing any complex symbols or computer-specific ones, just the standard add, subtract, divide and multiply.
At the top of each triangle the squares met so that there were cylindrical rows of squares with numbers. These rows slid round in different directions and speeds like a combination lock, but of course on the inside of a cylinder instead of the outside.
The vision was incredibly bright and vivid. The colours were primary, red, green, yellow and blue, with each triangle being mainly a different colour, but some squares on the cylinder changing colours. Each number/symbol morphed constantly into other numbers and symbols. The clarity, intensity of colour, detail and movement was unlike anything I have seen before, either under the influence or not. I could see pixellations on the side of numbers, but again even at this level this seemed to morph in and out between smooth-edged numbers. Through gaps between each square I could see the sky.
I should say some more about the clarity. An interesting subsequent account I read stated that someone had seen more clearly because their 'daydream' vision was not subject to the 'area of focus' effect that you see when looking at something. There is only a narrow range of cone cells in the human eye and most of what you see is out of focus and poorly perceived, even made up by the visual cortex (hence some optical illusions). Despite its incredible lucidity, the vision is not seen by your eyes, but is in sharp focus across in your mind's eye.
The pulsing, sliding, detailed tunnel of numbers also appeared to be being fed/maintained by things. This is a hard detail to recall, but I had a sense of entities either flying around or walking at the top of the cylinder populating the number grid, or living in the tunnel, or traversing the tunnel. At all times they were distant and did not interact with me. The things spoke a language (or at least the air was full of chatter), and this was perceived as an auditory language, although of course not coming through my ears. The language consisted of consonatal sentences including words that sounded like 'Muhjappanix' (hence my forum name) and other such verbal oddities, spoken very quickly.
As the cylinder slid down, I could see the top rows breaking and twisting and at the top of the rows I could see twisting red and white shapes which I knew to be representations (ie they resembled science school models) of the DNA double helix. These surrounded the top of the cylinder. I did not have know at the time this is a common sight. All of the above happened pretty much simultanously, and lasted around 0.5 – 1 second. I can recall it extremely well, as compared to the next stage I visited, it was easy to comprehend.
An indifferent place
I left the tunnel far behind. The tunnel was still a place in three (spatial) dimensions. I believe where I went was not like this. I did not finish travelling through the tunnel in the way you would anticipate. I believe I segued out of the tunnel and arrived in a place which I christined in my own mind 'an indifferent place'.
Incredible images more strange, colourful and audacious than the tunnel flashed past my eyes. I travered through strange places, corridors and rooms, but not three-dimensionally. Different places mutated into others, sometimes almost abstract, sometimes containing every day objects. Aspects of my personality slid past, intertwined with strange and alien ideas, shapes, places, and things.
I felt a sense of a barrier, as if I had stopped. Retrospectively I believe I may have needed to breath, which my motor sensory system would have caused to kick in automatically, but in my slowed down time perception it felt like an age between breaths. Either at this point T said to me 'you have to accept' or I remembered these words. I was stuck at what felt like a crossroads. Strange small brown entities flitted about like hoverflies. They were indistinct; I could not see their faces, and their bodies vibrated around me making them appear blurred. They appeared to be wearing silver crash helmets.
The creatures were giving me a choice. The choice was 'accept, or not accept'. The two choices were presented to me in a thousand ways. I saw the creatures produce traffic lights, playing cards, stop signs, semaphore type signs, pieces of paper, all with 'accept' in green and 'not accept' in red. They crowded round me spatially, but also from many directions and strange angles. The entities appeared to display the choice in an almost cartoonish way. For example one of them seemed to hand me a silver platter with a red or green card upon it for me to pick. It was like someone theatrically handing out hor d'ouevres, which was most strange and not at all comforting. I felt like it had taken the idea from my mind.
Again this scene was incredibly intense, both in its lucidity and kinesis.
Inner thought: This is like the red pill/blue pill thing in the Matrix (I am not a huge fan of the film). I must accept.
I do not know how I mouthed the words but I felt a breath escape my body. I felt every movement of my tongue and lips and teeth (although my body was far away from the place I was making the choice in. I felt the breath leave me: 'Accept'.
The images continued. More alien and intense. More convoluted, more unlike anything I have experienced in the past, through drug experiences or otherwise. I travelled in places where other entities were, but periodically along the way I was presented the choice to accept or not again, but always by the flitting creatures. Other things were travelling. And the places I found did not feel like just destinations, but conduits. I struggling to take in the dozens or hundred of images, scenes and the transpositions between them.
Inner thought: I have seen enough. I want to go back now. I want to remember this. My short term memory is damaged and I cannot hold on to all I am seeing to ensure I remember it.
I had a vision of a kaleidoscopic field and then the visions continued. It was not all alien. At one point I was at home with my girlfriend. Then I was in the street, outside my house. The image was so vivid I was there. Then it began to tear apart, to intermingle. I heard my child laugh and saw him from above running across the corner of my mind. The strange worlds twisted in again. It was more than real, more than being there, hyperreal and imbued with meaning.
I heard a voice. It was T.
'Are you alright?'
T's face zoomed in from many directions in many colours and became one face. I looked at her and then from the balcony to the sun setting in the sky. Every line, building a tree leaked imagery. This was more familiar territory. I had left that strange world.
------
Majapanix
