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3 days of DMT

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Blind_Goat

Rising Star
PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: anxious
(physical condition) Set: good
Setting (location): home
time of day: 10 am, daylight
recent drug use: coffee
last meal: 8 am, breakfast

PARTICIPANT
Gender: m
body weight: 76 kg
known sensitivities: none
history of use: novice

BIOASSAY

Substance(s): DMT
Dose(s): Vaporesso (Sky solo) with 700mg DMT fot 2ml Jack Herer Terpenes
Method of administration: vaporized


EFFECTS

Administration time: T=0:01
Duration: all day
First effects: A force in my body, very shy visual distortions, HIGH anxiety
Peak: T=0:01 - T= 0.05
Come down: it was very slow... i can't specify
Baseline:

Intensity (overall): 1 = Slightly
Evaluation / notes: 3 out of 5

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 2
Unplesantness: 3
Visual Intensity: 0.5
.
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS

Hangover: 2 points (3 days)
Afterglow: 0


REPORT



Owner of a restless and undisciplined mind, I sought DMT for more than visions or a profound experience, but an opportunity to grow mentally. Already in my first uses, I noticed not simply my cowardice or anxiety, but the uncontrolled mind, a ship that wants to travel in a certain direction in the midst of a storm, and that as soon as it touches the water, quickly regrets having entered it. As soon as I started seeing fractals or felt the strength coming, I despaired and tried at all costs to return to sobriety.

Thus, as already known by the wisest and most experienced, set and setting are important, however the element of the undisciplined mind (perhaps belonging to the set, but not completely) can bring a lot of pain and suffering in a psychedelic experience to the extent that a mind inclined always giving in to quick pleasure, and the torrent of thoughts that always invades us will not survive well in the powerful chaos of DMT's current of thoughts.

Our society trains us like this: short smartphone videos give us immediate dopamine spikes, however, unlike old photographs or films, they are not made to be remembered. Such videos should be administered like a drug, as they excite the most primal and immediate instincts: sex, curiosity, the longing for more. Our entire society is organized around rapid use, small and immediate enjoyment and disposal.

Thus, anyone who becomes addicted to masturbation quickly loses the great pleasure and peak of intense, non-compulsive sex. The more often we give in to immediate pleasure, the faster we exhaust the pleasure itself.

So, I believe that I have and I have some "crutches": compulsions and falls to immediate pleasure that paradoxically keep me away from pleasure, and we all have them, always making us a little more slaves to ourselves.

This element, of a mind that gives in because it is undisciplined, is the element that I intend to learn and improve (perhaps overcome one day) with DMT.

Therefore, as a form of stimulation, I began administering DMT in modest doses (700mg DMT per 2ml terpenes) for 3 days.

Initially, I started it as a test, to find out if using it on my Vaporesso Sky Solo would be viable. Which I concluded that yes, it surely was.

Each time, I vaped about 4 or 5 puffs and quickly felt an energy in my body, along with a force, pulling me to the other side. Sometimes I felt panic, but the feeling of prolonged peace throughout the day and greater performance at work (I concentrated more and I have ADHD) after using the substance made me use it perhaps once more on those days (thus making 2 sessions of 5 puffs for 3 days)

At the end of these 3 days, I spent another 3 or 4 days without using the substance, however I felt that the DMT was still in me.

I felt a new area of the brain that I had never felt before (I felt the awareness of existence, like we have the awareness of a finger or an arm or even a hand). And during those days, I was in some places (like the gym) and I felt that pre-DMT anxiety coming on, but little by little I controlled the feeling.

Deep peace invaded me during these days, being permeated by deep anxiety. The effect of DMT was undoubtedly long-lasting, although with few visual effects.

I then considered the aforementioned therapeutic dose, although without many visual impacts.

It's interesting to note that I live in an apartment, and in those days I started to be a little afraid of the height I was at (and which I was very used to up until that moment).

It is also necessary to mention that during those days I dreamed intensely: an average of 3 dreams per night, and on the first night I had a frightening dream that revealed a feeling that I had forgotten: I dreamed that I was in bed together with a girl that I was madly in love with. my adolescence, and among us was my mother. This girl then said to both of us: "good night". And this shook me considerably, as I had forgotten how repressive the mother figure had been in the construction of my sexual life, an obstacle between me and what I would like to achieve.

It was, without a shadow of a doubt, a very profound experience, but like many others I feared that I had "ruined my brain" in those 3 days after DMT, thinking that I would never go back to being what I was before.

It's been a few days since what happened: I'm not afraid of heights and I'm not dreaming as much (although I'm dreaming more than before). I feel more motivated for my work. I feel like DMT changed something in my brain, and that was a good thing.

I saw a video by Adam (Psyched Substance) that helped me a lot and helps me reflect on my condition in the psychedelic experience and which served as inspiration for this short text:

Thank you all
 
Dude! One of the most enjoyable trip reports I've read in a while. Thank you so much for sharing.

Blind_Goat said:
Owner of a restless and undisciplined mind, I sought DMT for more than visions or a profound experience, but an opportunity to grow mentally.

I think there are many of us that share this intention. Being able to go anywhere in hyperspace and manage it well is a show of force of mind and willpower in my opinion. While the visions and profundity can definitely add value, they are secondary and tertiary intents. I've learned that my recent issues with going deeper relate to this. There's something unnerving and can be pervading with anxiety in experiences where you're in "two worlds at once." So more than the feeling of not being able to handle a deeper experience, but rather that I have other work to do at the moment. I do wonder what would happen if I dropped some of my rigidity and allowed a more recreational approach sometimes.

Blind_Goat said:
Thus, as already known by the wisest and most experienced, set and setting are important, however the element of the undisciplined mind (perhaps belonging to the set, but not completely) can bring a lot of pain and suffering in a psychedelic experience to the extent that a mind inclined always giving in to quick pleasure, and the torrent of thoughts that always invades us will not survive well in the powerful chaos of DMT's current of thoughts.

There are many that add a third parameter and that is skill. Which is something currently under development for you. And as brutal as it can be because psychedelics are unspecified amplifiers, going through the torrent of experience in this way only increases resiliency and helps lead to lasting change in my experience. I find that my mind that also has it's hard time with certain quick pleasures, is always, and forever augmented by DMT use and experience.

Blind_Goat said:
Our society trains us like this: short smartphone videos give us immediate dopamine spikes, however, unlike old photographs or films, they are not made to be remembered. Such videos should be administered like a drug, as they excite the most primal and immediate instincts: sex, curiosity, the longing for more. Our entire society is organized around rapid use, small and immediate enjoyment and disposal.

I've also noticed that what you've described is also a vicious perpetuating cycle. I think it lends itself to why so many people have a hard time with relationships, are more depressed and lonely, etc. I mean, during the pandemic, Tik Tok was pretty big and that is the current epitome of what you have described. I've actually come across several articles and commentaries speculating on the negative effects that are observed from Tik Tok. It alleviates us from our duties of thought.

Blind_Goat said:
So, I believe that I have and I have some "crutches": compulsions and falls to immediate pleasure that paradoxically keep me away from pleasure, and we all have them, always making us a little more slaves to ourselves.

Do you find that you sort of feel bad or guilty when you want to give yourself something or do something for yourself that is outside of these immediate pleasures that you regularly provide yourself?

Blind_Goat said:
This element, of a mind that gives in because it is undisciplined, is the element that I intend to learn and improve (perhaps overcome one day) with DMT.

You've picked a wonderful tool for the task.

Blind_Goat said:
At the end of these 3 days, I spent another 3 or 4 days without using the substance, however I felt that the DMT was still in me.

This is funny, because in some senses, it does say within you. As an example, I taste it in my mucus often, even after days without use.

This thread has some data about DMT being store in mucosa membrane iirc. Just something ironic to your statement that I thought you'd like to know :)

Blind_Goat said:
I felt a new area of the brain that I had never felt before (I felt the awareness of existence, like we have the awareness of a finger or an arm or even a hand). And during those days, I was in some places (like the gym) and I felt that pre-DMT anxiety coming on, but little by little I controlled the feeling.

There are many things you've said throughout your piece that takes me back to my early 20s when I first started cutting my teeth on psychedelics. IME, that "area of the brain," that awareness, broadens over time. I sometimes wonder if it adds to my senses of being overwhelmed, akin to my anxiety.

Blind_Goat said:
It is also necessary to mention that during those days I dreamed intensely: an average of 3 dreams per night, and on the first night I had a frightening dream that revealed a feeling that I had forgotten: I dreamed that I was in bed together with a girl that I was madly in love with. my adolescence, and among us was my mother. This girl then said to both of us: "good night". And this shook me considerably, as I had forgotten how repressive the mother figure had been in the construction of my sexual life, an obstacle between me and what I would like to achieve.

I tell clients all the time that the journey isn't over when the psychedelic experience ends. And that time always tends to unearth many hidden gems, both beautiful and painful. What were your feelings in your dreams and about them thereafter?

Blind_Goat said:
It was, without a shadow of a doubt, a very profound experience, but like many others I feared that I had "ruined my brain" in those 3 days after DMT, thinking that I would never go back to being what I was before.

I feel like we're changing all the time, DMT just makes it more obvious to us :lol:

A very enjoyable and engaging read. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to more.

One love
 
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