Kajlian
Rising Star
I posted this in another thread but it's pretty dead so I thought I'd create a new thread for this trip report.
The dosage was 210 milligrams taken orally, it's a very high dose and if you try this substance I highly advice you not to start with a dose this high, and to follow all the usual harm reduction practices. This substance is extramly powerful and should not be taken lightly, I also think the dosage curve is exponential, a 150 milligram trip produces a mild shroom-like experience, while 210 milligrams was more like a really strong and prolonged DMT experiences with full-blown ego death.
Wow. It took a lot of thinking and processing to actually understand the significance of the 210mg trip. I first saw it as a bad trip, but I don't anymore. The only scary part was the part before the ego death. I could feel myself and everything I was dissolving and when I slowly started to loose track of what my was I first tried to fight it, and that's what made it scary. If the dose was a little lower I think it would've been much scarier because I would have been able to fight it much longer. I didn't really remember much from my trip the first few days after, but slowly as I think more and more about it, the memories are coming back. I remember being at a point where I had no idea at all what reality was, what I was, the concept that I had taken a drug was something I couldn't grasp. It was like I relived everything I have ever been through, but from the perspective of someone who was experiencing it for the first time. Everything was compressed, I remember going around in different "rooms" in my head and every room had a significant event in my life replaying itself over and over again. Each event was connected to a specific person, and some of the events were not things that have really happened but rather metaphors for the feelings I have had for the person it was about. Everyone also had a colour associated with them, it's like my whole perception of these people were condensed into a single event that I saw over and over again before getting launched into the next room. I was not in control whatsoever but at this point it didn't bother me because there was no me anymore. I was just an observer who didn't exist but at the same time everything I saw felt like it was me. And it was, of course. I also saw a character that didn't look like anyone I know, he seemed so familiar, like I had known him my entire life, but looking back on it I know nobody like him. He was really happy to meet me and when I saw him it felt like I found myself and that's the last part of the trip I remember. I think he was me, but he looked much much older, maybe he was my subconscious personified.
When I came back to reality I had moved around quite a bit, it looked a bit like there had been thieves in my house, the front door was open, and I was sitting outside in the stairwell, I was really confused and it was like I had been gone for a very long time. In reality the peak of the trip lasted around an hour but I couldn't tell it might as well have been 5 years, or forever. It was like I was born again, and I slowly begun to realise how my body worked and slowly I started to become myself again and I was able to move, I became one with my body again, finally.
This was the number one lifechanging experience of my life, but even if it turned out positively for me, I don't advice anyone else to try this, at least not without a tripsitter, it could've went very wrong and if I could make it out my front door I could probably just as easily make it out a window if I was less lucky.
Link to the original thread: 4-HO-DPT - Welcome discussion - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus
The dosage was 210 milligrams taken orally, it's a very high dose and if you try this substance I highly advice you not to start with a dose this high, and to follow all the usual harm reduction practices. This substance is extramly powerful and should not be taken lightly, I also think the dosage curve is exponential, a 150 milligram trip produces a mild shroom-like experience, while 210 milligrams was more like a really strong and prolonged DMT experiences with full-blown ego death.
Wow. It took a lot of thinking and processing to actually understand the significance of the 210mg trip. I first saw it as a bad trip, but I don't anymore. The only scary part was the part before the ego death. I could feel myself and everything I was dissolving and when I slowly started to loose track of what my was I first tried to fight it, and that's what made it scary. If the dose was a little lower I think it would've been much scarier because I would have been able to fight it much longer. I didn't really remember much from my trip the first few days after, but slowly as I think more and more about it, the memories are coming back. I remember being at a point where I had no idea at all what reality was, what I was, the concept that I had taken a drug was something I couldn't grasp. It was like I relived everything I have ever been through, but from the perspective of someone who was experiencing it for the first time. Everything was compressed, I remember going around in different "rooms" in my head and every room had a significant event in my life replaying itself over and over again. Each event was connected to a specific person, and some of the events were not things that have really happened but rather metaphors for the feelings I have had for the person it was about. Everyone also had a colour associated with them, it's like my whole perception of these people were condensed into a single event that I saw over and over again before getting launched into the next room. I was not in control whatsoever but at this point it didn't bother me because there was no me anymore. I was just an observer who didn't exist but at the same time everything I saw felt like it was me. And it was, of course. I also saw a character that didn't look like anyone I know, he seemed so familiar, like I had known him my entire life, but looking back on it I know nobody like him. He was really happy to meet me and when I saw him it felt like I found myself and that's the last part of the trip I remember. I think he was me, but he looked much much older, maybe he was my subconscious personified.
When I came back to reality I had moved around quite a bit, it looked a bit like there had been thieves in my house, the front door was open, and I was sitting outside in the stairwell, I was really confused and it was like I had been gone for a very long time. In reality the peak of the trip lasted around an hour but I couldn't tell it might as well have been 5 years, or forever. It was like I was born again, and I slowly begun to realise how my body worked and slowly I started to become myself again and I was able to move, I became one with my body again, finally.
This was the number one lifechanging experience of my life, but even if it turned out positively for me, I don't advice anyone else to try this, at least not without a tripsitter, it could've went very wrong and if I could make it out my front door I could probably just as easily make it out a window if I was less lucky.
Link to the original thread: 4-HO-DPT - Welcome discussion - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus