54mg dmt

[DK_one]

Following translated by Google, had to write in my language first...
Sorry if it maybe is bit confus, but wrote it right afterwards.
And I didn't go for the visuals since it was so overwhelmingly messages nonstop trip. The ones I remember and able to sort, are in there.

I've really got a lot to process...

I'm writing because I was really angry and annoyed right from the start.

There's nothing for you to learn here, I'm fed up with it always being the same! I come here wanting healing and, on top of that, to understand everything. Who do you think I am?

You're not meant to understand everything here.

And that was just the beginning, the first few seconds or so.

You really want this? You could have gone crazy. Don't say I didn't warn you!

And then I was briefly in my body and heard myself scream F...

My body was hanging crooked, completely broken, jumbled up everywhere and nowhere.

Right, then I get to put this guy back together too. We'll see, that'll take a while.

Don't want to forget this time? Then concentrate.

Then somehow, or was it before that, that brought me to this state? Yes, that must be it. Like a stream of data, way too much, everything and yet nothing. Incomprehensible, undeniable, yet not a word, just hopeless overload. As if terabytes were being forced onto a floppy disk.

F….!

Everything was clear and unambiguous except for this overload, which isn't meant for humans, and it's tired of us asking about it.

It was as if the entire Earth's origin, history, and everything after death (or not) were being mercilessly hammered into me at high speed, and I collapsed in the middle of it.

And yet, it didn't abandon me and was suddenly quite caring and concerned that I wouldn't break under the strain. Even though it was clear that I might never be able to access this knowledge in the sense of verbalizing it.

As my consciousness slowly reassembled itself, and later my body belonged to me again, electric mushrooms hovered everywhere, static in one spot, each pulsating independently.

Eyes closed, eyes on the same image.

My arms moved like snakes, so fluid, so strangely beautiful to behold.

I lingered in a beautiful dance performed by electronic or lightning-drawn mushrooms that now snaked about.

Slowly, it dawned on me: I have to stop trying to understand everything and everyone. I make too many assumptions instead of simply accepting that I can't change the world around me, but simply live and do what's right for me.

Stop doubting, show humility for the higher powers, and recognize that the earthly isn't everything. Humility in the sense that it's not our place to try and understand it as long as we're bound to a physical body.

Whatever was speaking to me, or was so annoyed, could eliminate me—that's how it felt. Take me out of the game, not just in life, but completely!

As if I'm ultimately at the mercy of their goodwill.

Accept your place. You are nothing in the grand scheme of things. Yet, then, the care that follows.

I'll leave it at that for now; I think I need to reflect on it and come to terms with it over the next few days.


I'll leave it at that for now. What makes me a little sad or worried is the first sentence: "There's nothing for you to learn here." Assuming it was indeed the first sentence. I'm not sure if it was a kind of rejection, an invitation not to come back, or if it referred more to my expectations and questions.

 

[DK_one]

An add that was somewhere meanwhile the putting me together after the collapse?

Okay, my memory is clearer now, but it's a different part of the whole thing. It was like cracks in a wall, a world behind them? Or were they all just fragments of something arranged horizontally?

Anyway, someone kept shouting, "Peek-a-boo, hahahaha, can't you see me? Hahahaha? But anyway, it doesn't matter, it's all just an illusion, time, your mother, your father, everything in life that was ever real was just an illusion! Do you understand me? Do you understand me? Peek-a-boo, hahaha, you can't see me anyway, hahaha!"

It's all completely absurd, like that circus music playing in the background in movies when someone enters the ring. Everyone should know it.

 

[DK_one]

I heard that people sometimes get rejected and mostly the current trip with the rejection gets aborted.

I am really not sure how I should interpret the "nothing for you to learn here"

The trip was obviously not aborted.
So anyone thinks it was not a rejection?

I would not want to dismiss a rejection, who am I to do so. But still it would be hard to accept and I want to go back with time. For sure with lowered dose next time.

The rest of the trip I was able to work through, also I had to lough about that peekaboo phase yesterday so hard cuz it was somehow hilarious!

The whole experience started out very scary but afterwards today I would more likely say it was a big thing I appreciate.

 

[Qoniaq]

MEANING
(Including Notes on Spice, Tacos, and Why the Universe Is Not Obliged to Perform)

Meaning:
Meaning, in its natural habitat, is an emergent property. It arises the way flavor does when chili meets tongue: situationally, relationally, and often without asking permission. It is not guaranteed, not repeatable on demand, and not required to announce itself with subtitles.

Meaning may occur during a full breakthrough, while watching dust in sunlight, or halfway through a perfectly adequate taco. It may arrive loudly, quietly, or not at all. Importantly, meaning does not insist on being harvested.

On Spice:
Spice is an excellent teaching aid here. Capsaicin is not nutrition; it is sensation. It does not feed you. It does not build muscle. It sets your mouth on fire and asks what you intend to do with that information.

Some meals are built around spice. Some accidentally contain it. Some nights, you go seeking heat and receive only warmth. Other nights, you expect comfort and discover your sinuses achieving enlightenment.

None of this is wrong.

Meaning behaves similarly. Sometimes it burns. Sometimes it enhances. Sometimes it is absent, and the meal remains perfectly edible.

Common Tourist Error:
Visitors frequently confuse Meaning for Learning, and assume that if no licensed insight appears, the experience has “failed.” This is equivalent to declaring a taco meaningless because it did not alter one’s cosmology.

Nourishment does not require transcendence.

 

[DK_one]

Well, the experience was gold and made more sense every single day after it.
I write always right after the afterglow is gone.

On this trip was first time I had a strange body hangover, I got kicked out of my halfway lotus middle of trip and was hanging sidewards.....

This fact made unessesary questions arise and doubt the purity of the product.

TY for the words I consider them highly valuable!