Electro Monk
Rising Star
fellow nexians, let me introduce myself. i feel some background is neccesary or there will be no chance anyone will be able to make sense of what certainly will be a confusing report.
introduction:
i am a middle aged male northern german anarchist who has come recently into contact with etheogens. since childhood i have developed my own nihilism, in the abscence of suitable role models in my family i was forced to reject morals and rules i was told, and made me my own morals and values.
neurologically, my expirience with continued psychlogical violence has left me somewhat twisted. it seems some of my receptors do not work as they do in the average person. i am extremely tolerant to hallicugenes and need very high doses to trip. dmt is the one exeption i know of, where i react to doses as i expected from literature.
this numbness of my serotonin receptors is also what i have identified as the surce of my depressions.
another quirk of mine - i think one i was born with - is that i do not have the ability of visual imagination. i am incapable of imagining a white dot. though my brain sometimes decides to show me images, i can not MAKE it show me what i want.
i also suffer from visual sow, an effect like film grain overlay over my vision.
this leak of imagination, love, dogma and phantasy resulted in me being an adamant atheist. if you cant proof it, it doesnt exist.
preparation:
i extracted maoi from syrian rue, and got into the posession of a mckennaii grow kit. it was mostly a dud, with much less yield then expected, but after air dying an then demoistoration with baked epson salt i had some 9g absolutely dry mushrooms. i bought lemon oil, as an antagonist to the serotonin receptors in the stomach to prevent nausia from the combination of maoi and psylocibin.
i prepared 3 capsules with harmalas with each 150mg, i weighted out a good 6g of the fungy, consumed 600mg NAC, bought two banannas, a bottle of water, a bottle of ace juice, some popcorn and took the train to a nearby nature prservation with the last remants of northern germanies primeval forest, with my ultimate goal to be a small bridge like dam, holding back an enchanted little lake in a bird protectin reservart.
the trip there was sheduled to take some 40 minutes, so when i arrived at the departing train station, i ate my first capsule of harmalas, and drank some juice with 5 drops of lemon oil. when i arrived at my destination, i ate my second capsule of harmalas. i had some 20 minutes of walking to do to to actually reach the forest, and as soon as i reached it, i found myself a nice trunk, sat down and ate my shrooms.
i knew from two previous expiriences with smaller doses of mushrooms that i would proably not feel any effect untill 90-120 minutes after ingesting the mushrooms.
so i just kept walking and enjoyed the beatuful weather, the record lateralus and all that nature.
the expirience
i wandered through the forest, along a path i had planned out that was supposed to take me to the lake. it was quite a long way, and slowly the magic started to work on me. onset was much faster this time, after only 30 minutes started to feel the first signs. maybe its because i did it right with the maoi, maybe because the mushrooms where so dry, maybe it was the nac, or even just because im getting better at noticing it.
after maybe an hour i came to the place where i thought the lake would be, alas, it was not. instead, there where only pastures, an a little creek. i was cool with it, because when i arrived there, i felt that i did not want to be at my destination yet anyhow. so i kept walking this and that way, still looking for the lake, but also not worrying to much about it.
now, that forest is REALY confusing. its all ancient agra cultural region, there many are old ways everywhere that appear to be forgotten since centuries. official ways often end in dead ends, at a gate, a highfence, or just end in the middle of the forest.
and so, as my judgement showed signs of getting clouded, it became increasingly difficult for me to maintain a sense of direction, location, or destination.
now, do not get me wrong, at no point i was worried or in a bad mood. my temper was joyful, the weather was beautiful, birds where singing, my musik blew me away.
i walked and walked and when i came by a very low hanging rope for the second time, on witch a sign hung: private path: do not enter, tripping danger! i decided i was tripping all right and to ignore the forbiddance.
it was a very magic path, paved with evergreen, and it lead to a a few empty cabins with beautiful gardens, a spring, a few chairs.
i rested here for a while, contemplating the life if the pig and cattle farmers of the region, entertained a some very funny thoughts evolving around the difficulty of seperating lifestok from humans, and what realy landed in the cettles of hamburg in ancient times.
yes. i do have a very dirty mind.
at this point also my visions started, that left me confused and baffled and that yet again leaves my view of the world and he cosmos shaken.
the vision
i mentioned earlier i do "suffer" from the visual snow syndrome. its usually not a big deal not not realy deliberating, exept when its very dark. one theory is, that this kind of visual tinitus is a symptom of latent cronical migraine. this makes sense to me, i always had it, i always had episodes of migraine.
now, psylocibin is a realy powerful anti migraine medication. so i assumed my visual snow would dissapear. alas - it did not.
instead it completely transformed. what usually are tiny mostly white dots merged to something i could not avoid to identify as code.
hexagon - or pentagon - based vextors. of destinct lengh filling the sky in lines. it is realy hard to remember this for me as i do not have a visual memory.
it have tried reproducue it as best as i could, but the image is far from being a good reassemblance. for one im even uncertain of the underlying geometrical form. the colour is impossilbe to do in a graphic - there just is no translucent hyperrainbow colour and the letters where all around me.
i sat astonished and tried to make sense of what i saw, and i had more visions. i had the impression of a place between realities, a black closed gate, locked by a riddle. i had visions of code, very similar to the letters, and yet much more complicated. instead of seperated letters it was a chain of them, it seemed to be a loop with brances going of from it everywhere.
i felt to enter it one had to solve the riddle, i knew that no scientific background would - should - be needed, that it was designed to allow access for anyone smart enough to crack it no matter how evolved that persons science would be.
i was very unsure if it was intended to be entered by an individuum or a species, and i was somewhat worried that i finally had gone totally nuts, because this conflicted with my convictions as hard as possible.
my way home, cows , and a malicous hole
now, the day went by, it got later, and i had hungry cats to feed at the other side of town, i was lost in a forest and so i packed up my tings and started to find my way out.
witch did prove to be quite difficult. as mentioned, many roads just end, or are unused. the area sourrounding the wood is still used as to breed cattle. at this point i as away of any official or even unofficialroad. i figured tho, that where there are fences, someone has to maintain them. there had to be roads close by so i wandered around the pastures in hopes of finding one. witch i did not. pasture joined pasture, and there was no path betwen them. eventually i decided to climb a fence (carefully not electrocuting my balls) and crossed the grassland. witch, ended me in another pasture. sigh. well. there was noting to it. trying to find and not finding gates i walked along meddow over meddow. some had cows, most hadnt. i tried to avoid these cute harmless plant eating animals as much as possible - just to be sure. so i walked, untill i somehow at some point turned around and - HOLY COW MAN! whole bunch of them. 2 m a way and very agressive looking.
thankfully the next fence was just a few meters. i ran as fast as the uneven ground permitted and climbed the fence as fast as possible. i did not even think about the danger of electrocuting my groin at this point. these cows wanted blood. i could see it in their eyes.
i felt i had dodged a bullet there, spend a few minuts in a staring contest with the bulls (i won them all) and cuckled. then i moved on. again i found myself on what looked like a long forgotten farmroad, and i kept following it at a brisk face.
untill suddenly my right leg was gone almost to my knee in morass. i immidiately tried to find purchase with my left leg, but this too dissapeared. whoopsydays. yes, there are swamp ponds in this region, as soon as there is a hole, its below ground water level.
somehow i managed not to freak out thogh, and tankfully i was very close to the edge of the pit. so i was able to find solid ground with my arms behind me, and to slowly pull out my legs out of the mud. i even managed to keep both my shoes. very satisfying. i chucked a bit, thankfully i was still allowed to witness this crazy world a little longer, and kept walking.
eventually i found a real road. i even encountered a some other humans that could point me into the right direction. maybe an hour of brisk walking and i was back at the railway station i arrived at.
at this point, it was around 20:30, i arrived there at 13:00 so i was walking with very few breaks for some 7 hours through difficult terrain. writing this now, the most surprising thing is that i do not have any muscle hangover, and that my feet feel as good as they have not in many years. even the pain in my knee is gone.
to sum it up, it was the most confusing, beautiful and scary day i ever had. im very happy i have found these substances for me.
i was never able to just enjoy the beauty, or even see it.
i wanted to share this expirience with you, because for one, maybe someone can make sense of it, but also to thank this community. without the collected knowledge here, i would never have found my way here.
introduction:
i am a middle aged male northern german anarchist who has come recently into contact with etheogens. since childhood i have developed my own nihilism, in the abscence of suitable role models in my family i was forced to reject morals and rules i was told, and made me my own morals and values.
neurologically, my expirience with continued psychlogical violence has left me somewhat twisted. it seems some of my receptors do not work as they do in the average person. i am extremely tolerant to hallicugenes and need very high doses to trip. dmt is the one exeption i know of, where i react to doses as i expected from literature.
this numbness of my serotonin receptors is also what i have identified as the surce of my depressions.
another quirk of mine - i think one i was born with - is that i do not have the ability of visual imagination. i am incapable of imagining a white dot. though my brain sometimes decides to show me images, i can not MAKE it show me what i want.
i also suffer from visual sow, an effect like film grain overlay over my vision.
this leak of imagination, love, dogma and phantasy resulted in me being an adamant atheist. if you cant proof it, it doesnt exist.
preparation:
i extracted maoi from syrian rue, and got into the posession of a mckennaii grow kit. it was mostly a dud, with much less yield then expected, but after air dying an then demoistoration with baked epson salt i had some 9g absolutely dry mushrooms. i bought lemon oil, as an antagonist to the serotonin receptors in the stomach to prevent nausia from the combination of maoi and psylocibin.
i prepared 3 capsules with harmalas with each 150mg, i weighted out a good 6g of the fungy, consumed 600mg NAC, bought two banannas, a bottle of water, a bottle of ace juice, some popcorn and took the train to a nearby nature prservation with the last remants of northern germanies primeval forest, with my ultimate goal to be a small bridge like dam, holding back an enchanted little lake in a bird protectin reservart.
Code:
https://www.google.com/maps/@53.704159,10.1393312,2322m/data=!3m1!1e3!5m1!1e4?hl=enthe trip there was sheduled to take some 40 minutes, so when i arrived at the departing train station, i ate my first capsule of harmalas, and drank some juice with 5 drops of lemon oil. when i arrived at my destination, i ate my second capsule of harmalas. i had some 20 minutes of walking to do to to actually reach the forest, and as soon as i reached it, i found myself a nice trunk, sat down and ate my shrooms.
i knew from two previous expiriences with smaller doses of mushrooms that i would proably not feel any effect untill 90-120 minutes after ingesting the mushrooms.
so i just kept walking and enjoyed the beatuful weather, the record lateralus and all that nature.
the expirience
i wandered through the forest, along a path i had planned out that was supposed to take me to the lake. it was quite a long way, and slowly the magic started to work on me. onset was much faster this time, after only 30 minutes started to feel the first signs. maybe its because i did it right with the maoi, maybe because the mushrooms where so dry, maybe it was the nac, or even just because im getting better at noticing it.
after maybe an hour i came to the place where i thought the lake would be, alas, it was not. instead, there where only pastures, an a little creek. i was cool with it, because when i arrived there, i felt that i did not want to be at my destination yet anyhow. so i kept walking this and that way, still looking for the lake, but also not worrying to much about it.
now, that forest is REALY confusing. its all ancient agra cultural region, there many are old ways everywhere that appear to be forgotten since centuries. official ways often end in dead ends, at a gate, a highfence, or just end in the middle of the forest.
and so, as my judgement showed signs of getting clouded, it became increasingly difficult for me to maintain a sense of direction, location, or destination.
now, do not get me wrong, at no point i was worried or in a bad mood. my temper was joyful, the weather was beautiful, birds where singing, my musik blew me away.
i walked and walked and when i came by a very low hanging rope for the second time, on witch a sign hung: private path: do not enter, tripping danger! i decided i was tripping all right and to ignore the forbiddance.
it was a very magic path, paved with evergreen, and it lead to a a few empty cabins with beautiful gardens, a spring, a few chairs.
i rested here for a while, contemplating the life if the pig and cattle farmers of the region, entertained a some very funny thoughts evolving around the difficulty of seperating lifestok from humans, and what realy landed in the cettles of hamburg in ancient times.
yes. i do have a very dirty mind.
at this point also my visions started, that left me confused and baffled and that yet again leaves my view of the world and he cosmos shaken.
the vision
i mentioned earlier i do "suffer" from the visual snow syndrome. its usually not a big deal not not realy deliberating, exept when its very dark. one theory is, that this kind of visual tinitus is a symptom of latent cronical migraine. this makes sense to me, i always had it, i always had episodes of migraine.
now, psylocibin is a realy powerful anti migraine medication. so i assumed my visual snow would dissapear. alas - it did not.
instead it completely transformed. what usually are tiny mostly white dots merged to something i could not avoid to identify as code.
hexagon - or pentagon - based vextors. of destinct lengh filling the sky in lines. it is realy hard to remember this for me as i do not have a visual memory.
it have tried reproducue it as best as i could, but the image is far from being a good reassemblance. for one im even uncertain of the underlying geometrical form. the colour is impossilbe to do in a graphic - there just is no translucent hyperrainbow colour and the letters where all around me.
i sat astonished and tried to make sense of what i saw, and i had more visions. i had the impression of a place between realities, a black closed gate, locked by a riddle. i had visions of code, very similar to the letters, and yet much more complicated. instead of seperated letters it was a chain of them, it seemed to be a loop with brances going of from it everywhere.
i felt to enter it one had to solve the riddle, i knew that no scientific background would - should - be needed, that it was designed to allow access for anyone smart enough to crack it no matter how evolved that persons science would be.
i was very unsure if it was intended to be entered by an individuum or a species, and i was somewhat worried that i finally had gone totally nuts, because this conflicted with my convictions as hard as possible.
my way home, cows , and a malicous hole
now, the day went by, it got later, and i had hungry cats to feed at the other side of town, i was lost in a forest and so i packed up my tings and started to find my way out.
witch did prove to be quite difficult. as mentioned, many roads just end, or are unused. the area sourrounding the wood is still used as to breed cattle. at this point i as away of any official or even unofficialroad. i figured tho, that where there are fences, someone has to maintain them. there had to be roads close by so i wandered around the pastures in hopes of finding one. witch i did not. pasture joined pasture, and there was no path betwen them. eventually i decided to climb a fence (carefully not electrocuting my balls) and crossed the grassland. witch, ended me in another pasture. sigh. well. there was noting to it. trying to find and not finding gates i walked along meddow over meddow. some had cows, most hadnt. i tried to avoid these cute harmless plant eating animals as much as possible - just to be sure. so i walked, untill i somehow at some point turned around and - HOLY COW MAN! whole bunch of them. 2 m a way and very agressive looking.
thankfully the next fence was just a few meters. i ran as fast as the uneven ground permitted and climbed the fence as fast as possible. i did not even think about the danger of electrocuting my groin at this point. these cows wanted blood. i could see it in their eyes.
i felt i had dodged a bullet there, spend a few minuts in a staring contest with the bulls (i won them all) and cuckled. then i moved on. again i found myself on what looked like a long forgotten farmroad, and i kept following it at a brisk face.
untill suddenly my right leg was gone almost to my knee in morass. i immidiately tried to find purchase with my left leg, but this too dissapeared. whoopsydays. yes, there are swamp ponds in this region, as soon as there is a hole, its below ground water level.
somehow i managed not to freak out thogh, and tankfully i was very close to the edge of the pit. so i was able to find solid ground with my arms behind me, and to slowly pull out my legs out of the mud. i even managed to keep both my shoes. very satisfying. i chucked a bit, thankfully i was still allowed to witness this crazy world a little longer, and kept walking.
eventually i found a real road. i even encountered a some other humans that could point me into the right direction. maybe an hour of brisk walking and i was back at the railway station i arrived at.
at this point, it was around 20:30, i arrived there at 13:00 so i was walking with very few breaks for some 7 hours through difficult terrain. writing this now, the most surprising thing is that i do not have any muscle hangover, and that my feet feel as good as they have not in many years. even the pain in my knee is gone.
to sum it up, it was the most confusing, beautiful and scary day i ever had. im very happy i have found these substances for me.
i was never able to just enjoy the beauty, or even see it.
i wanted to share this expirience with you, because for one, maybe someone can make sense of it, but also to thank this community. without the collected knowledge here, i would never have found my way here.
