A challenging first trip with a good outcome

[northenlight]

Hi everyone!

So I have been struggling with finding the right instrument to enjoy the spice. Finally I decided to build my own machine.
Previously I tried to vaping the spice but with little to no result.

So to the trip report. With my new machine I was preparing myself and my setting. Before take off I had this pain in my stomach caused by anxiety. I though this is not something out of the ordinary ( I always have this feeling before I’m about to trip). But something was off. My inner voice told me that I was not in the right mindset, but I ignored it. My ego said that I have been waiting so long and it’s now or never.

I asked my friend to help med with the fire. The machine started to fill with a cloudy vapor. I took a deep breath of air then exhaled and then slowly started to fill my lungs with the vapor. The vapor was cool and not to harsher to the lungs. I thought to myself this is not to bad. Then all of a sudden it was like a cold gust struck my face, and the room that I was in started to transform. I looked at my friend. He was smiling at me but from my point of view it seemed like a devilish smile and I quickly looked away.
At the same moment I feel that I’m completely out of breath and take some deep breath before I lay down in the sofa. The second I close my eyes I can see a jester that taunts me. I can feel that he wants me to not have a good time. The jester says to me that it was not wise for me to come here and that I don’t need any substance to live a happy life. At that moment I say to myself that I’m never going to touch any substances again. The trip intensify. “ I really don’t want to be here” I keep telling to myself, while the jester is laughing at me. Then I start to asking myself why can’t i surrender?
I will surrender. “I surrender” I yell to the jester. He stops laughing and I feel a little bit better.
Then I start getting these messages about how I have strayed away from the true path to a more negative path in life. Searching after short pleasures and lying to myself for gratification. The jester told me that I needed to experience this experience so I could surrender to my own lies and see the real truth and what I need to do to be my true self.
After that the jester left me and the trip started to die off. I thanked him or her for the challenging experience. And took my notebook and started creating a list of things that needed to change in my life.

I feel like I really needed this trip and now I’m trying to integrate all the messages that I received.

I was scared but it won’t stop me.

I’ll return when I’m worthy

Much love
NL

 

[abrelosojos]

NL, what was your dosage? I think is great that you found answers. Often one only brings more questions. I think now that besides set & setting. Dosage is the next most important thing to consider. My last experience was overwhelming but i can´t really remember anything. That was last week. And from then on, my head has felt like i´m constantly on modafinil and my libido is dead.
So i´ll keep some distance from the spice for a while. after that i bought my scale.

I saw pictures of your extraction and it looked great, congrats on that.

 

[northenlight]

NL, what was your dosage?

It was not that high of a dose. I vaped 15-17 mg, the scale went up and down. So it was on the lower scale and Im thankful for that. Still Im impressed with the dose, was visually incomprehensible compared to my preivous trips on mushrooms and acid.

How is the modafinil mixing with the spice? or are you trying to not take the modafinil on the day that you vaping the spice?

 

[Jega]

I'm of the opinion that these entities are living beings with their own lives, not so very different from us in essence. This was a beautiful report showing how even when they're giving you a hard time it's for the best intentions and in full awareness of the intent of their actions. It truly is the divine realm.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[abrelosojos]

I´m off Modafinil. I loved it, but my wife always complained that it made me a jerk.

But it´s like that after my last trip with DMT. I´m always on fight or flight mode. Been Losing weight stupidly fast due to the extra alertness. I kind of enjoy it. if it weren´t that my mind just doesn´t want to have sex with my wife. And its getting exasperating after 6 days.

I quit taking Modafinil by the start of the year, due to moodiness. i started lowering my dosage at first and taking it Monday, Wednesday and Friday.. At that point i had a few sessions with 5-Meo-DMT that erased any itch on my body for all stimulants, except a cup of coffeee.

Right now i don´t know if this altered state, is due to secondary effects of a weeklong treatment with Ciprofloxacin. but they should have subsided last week when i finished the treatmen. Or... Just something that happened on the Trip that i can´t remember. (i didn´t weight and dropped around 100 mg +- 30 mg).

I´m laying off the spice for a month or two. And if the symptoms dont fade in 1 more week, i´ll definitely do a session with the toad to balance my chakras.

 

[northenlight]

I'm of the opinion that these entities are living beings with their own lives, not so very different from us in essence. This was a beautiful report showing how even when they're giving you a hard time it's for the best intentions and in full awareness of the intent of their actions. It truly is the divine realm.

Thanks for sharing.

It feels very real, and during the experience it’s more like a visit than an hallucinations. But with that said. Even though this was my first real experience with the spice and first encounter with an another “hyperdimensional entity”. I’m well aware of the concept and my locigal mind tells me that my knowledge of these entities could have effected my experience to the point of creating the jester looking entity.

Or it could be that I was actually visited by a higher dimensional being. Who knows?

I’m in the belief that making conclusions of the essence of life will just narrow your own perception of reality so I try to keep an open mind to all the experience I encounter.

But if you like to hear more trip reports of entity encounter head over to 434 YouTube account. Where nice messages and I really enjoy his reports.

Much love
NL

 

[northenlight]

1. But it´s like that after my last trip with DMT. I´m always on fight or flight mode. Been Losing weight stupidly fast due to the extra alertness. I kind of enjoy it. if it weren´t that my mind just doesn´t want to have sex with my wife. And its getting exasperating after 6 days.

2. i´ll definitely do a session with the toad to balance my chakras.

1. In which way are you considering yourself being on fight or flight mode? Is the adrenaline always pumping or is it more the alertness of it all?(found this really intresting). If the weight loss continues I would search up a doctor just to make sure that your okay. Otherwise, enjoy the experience of having a lower body mass:thumb_up:

2. I have never tried 5-meo but are really intrigued by it. I guess it will find me when it’s time.

 

[breeze225]

It is so funny how thoughts/instinct that we supress in everyday life comes out its kinda like your instincts are screaming at you cause you didnt hear them! your thought before hand and anxiety really played a part in your trip. your intentions are very important with this stuff if you just want to get high this may not be your thing! there are plenty of things for that. or use smaller doses...if i were you i would trust my instincts since that is what you thought before hand and during the trip. I would lay off BUT here is the key we are constantly changing what might be right now could be wrong in the future we are very complex and that changes over time and always. my best advice IME would be lay off give your self a break until (and if) you feel your instincts change...again your intent is important so when your instincts come back and say ok do it again its important to realise why your saying that to yourself....for me i have been a addict for most of my life got away from things for 10 years now coming back to somethings not everything tho. its important for me to keep that addictive beast in the cage so when i wake up and feel i want it i examine why...do i want to escape (addiction for me) or do i want to learn something about myself and or the universe...but here is the kicker that "beast" i spoke of is a chameleon and will try to trick you!

 

[abrelosojos]

1. In which way are you considering yourself being on fight or flight mode? Is the adrenaline always pumping or is it more the alertness of it all?(found this really intresting). If the weight loss continues I would search up a doctor just to make sure that your okay. Otherwise, enjoy the experience of having a lower body mass:thumb_up:

2. I have never tried 5-meo but are really intrigued by it. I guess it will find me when it’s time.

Just absurds amount of energy, i feel the blood in my head without it being a high-blood pressure feeling. Exercise, meditation and water feel great. and lower that feeling for a while. then it creeps up again. Had no coffee today. just some matcha tea, and yesterday night i did a long svadhisthana sound meditation to relax. (it took me to a long voyage, i will repeat it). Very much appreciate dropping 5 pounds in a week. 10 more to go.

5-Meo is amazing. I had the opportunity to give a dose to my mother inlaw this morning at sunrise, really respectful after she meditated for 20 minutes, and with a low dose. I´m looking to talk a little more with her today to see how she integrated it.