Tryptamineenthusiast
Esteemed member
Hi, I'm new here, I wanted to share my experiences with some DMT I extracted. I made DMT in order to ease myself into psychedelics with low doses so that I would not have to commit to longer trips right away. I gained confidence and realized quickly that my brain already works according to much of what DMT shows you, I never had a super strong sense of self, so losing it is less terrifying for me. After many trips of varying doses I have come here to share my experiences with the hope that some of you will find these reports valuable. I am happy to say that DMT has been a hugely positive influence in my life so far and it has shown me what it means to be human and exist both in the context of myself as an individual and as a social creature. I take it much less frequently now and only when I have an important question to ask my subconscious. Another quick thing is that for me I have noticed that "breaking through" is more of a spectrum than an actual barier; because I never resist the breakthrough and because my method takes only one hit I am gone before I know what I missed. Because of these factors, it took me a while to realize what a breaktrhough was and I failed to properly integrate or write down many of my earlier expiriences. I think breaking through can be vastly different for different people and I think that fact is very important to realize. With that out of the way lets get into some trip reports. (these are in chronological order)
Notable trip #1: "maximum possible ego dissolution"
duration ~15 minutes elsewhere, 30 more minutes until sober
dose ~35-50mg (likely closer to 50)
I can divide all of my DMT expiriences into two groups, those that happened prior to this and those which happened after, that is how impactful this trip was. Those before this trip were mediocre or negative experiences where I felt like I was trying to acheive somthing, this "striving to break through" is a dangerous mindset that I think we need to do a better job of discouraging as it puts the user in a negative mental place right before the trip. My expiriences after this trip have all been profoundly positive and spiritually moving. It was a calm tuesday evening, I had done DMT the night before and failed to vaporize everthing in the pipe before tripping and I was determined to get it all this time. I loaded 35mg of freebase into the pipe and meditated for 30 minutes. There is a decent chance that there was excess dmt in the pipe from the night before as i did not change the mesh, this is not something I reccomend, always know your dose. I simply got lucky that this expirience was a positive one. It is highly likely that I inhaled close to 50mg of perfectly vaporized freebase in one hit. Anyway, after meditating I took one massive hit from my homemade pipe, I held it for as long as I could, then I breathed out, or rather I assume I breathed out, because by the time I began to exhale I was already gone. This part gets pretty subjective and difficult to describe, but I will do my very best. This trip was unlike any DMT expirience I had before and unlike any I have had after. Without any warning or visuals I immediatly found myself (or the lack there of) everywhere and nowhere in a place beyond places, there were absolutely no visuals. This "place" (again or lack there of) was an all consuming nothingness where no human construct could exist. I could not remember my name, and I became one with the everything and nothing all around me. (I keep using the word "I" here, but it feels wrong, because "I" wasn't there, nothing was). I felt a profound sense of comfort knowing that all was one and nothing was everything and nothing mattered and because of that everything mattered, I felt immersed in a fluffy cloud of infinite void for an eternity and no time at all. Yes, even time itself ceased to exist, meaning that I now feel as though I have lived forever, but forever is still an amount of time and so no time passed and it ended just as quickly as it started. It is important to realize that opposites did not exist as we typically conceive of them so all of these things were possible. After that eternity and no time in the place of everywhere and everything that was nowhere and nothing where I embodied all of those things and as such did not exist and simultanoesly did, I began to feel a desire to bring things I could comprehend back into that space. I started, with me. I began to pull on my mind to try to bring myself into the place that I was, I tried to remember my name and as I did I saw and felt freeze frames and flashes of my own perception of myself splattering on the windscreen of the void. I unfortunatly found that I did not like how I perceived myself, this led to extreemly positive personal growth after the trip which has drastically improved my depression. Anyway, I kept pulling and pulling until I remembered my name, at this point I realized that time too had reemerged as I felt a distinct chronological order to the peices of me returning. I began to pull concepts back too, nouns as well, human language, a sense of place etc. eventually everything returned to normal and I opened my eyes to see those little fluxuating circles painting the walls of my room, the first visuals of this entire trip. I took three major things away from this expirience. One, this life is the only one I have, I need to stop worrying and have fun, everything matters to much to worry about the small things (I have long been someone who struggles with self-confidence so this was amazing for me). Two: I don't like how I perceive myself and that is the root of most of my unhappiness, I have subsequently worked to change my self perception and it has been hugely impactful in a positive way. Three: I had the feeling that this might just be the maximum possible DMT expirience. (this is my own subjective opinion, it is important to realize that DMT can be many things for many people)
Notable trip #2: "Surrounded by friends"
duration ~5 minutes elsewhere, 10 more minutes until sober
dose ~35mg
After that previous experience I decided DMT had taught me all it could and I wanted to share its knowledge with some friends (all of whom had done various psychadellics in the past and wanted to try DMT I of course did not accept any payment as I feel that is antithetical to the nature of DMT). I gave each of them a shpeil about how to inhale properly, what to expect, to be sure to let go, and how this wasnt just some recreational toy but was rather a profoundly spiritual experience that should not be taken lightly etc. A total of nine people did my DMT throughout the night and one of them even went to the place I described above in trip #1, (an interesting note is that his head rocked from side to side and the whole expirience took close to 45 minutes). Anyway, each sucessive person went and the set and setting and support of the group were so powerful that everyone had a moving expirience and I just felt so greatful to have been able to provide this. I typically like to do DMT alone, and this group was not one which I felt extreemly connected to before this point, so I was not going to do any DMT, I have always struggled with belonging, but at this point in the night I felt super conected to the people arround me, and decided to go for it. I let one of them pick out some music, I loaded 35 milligrams into the pipe, and I inhaled and exhaled one big hit. The music grew louder, I heard the DMT whine, geometry exploded across my vision and soon I was in another place entirely. This was a house not unlike the one I was physically in, the walls were colors and faces pulsing with the now louder music, I saw every possible color shift into another with each beat, and it was as though the walls were people. They all wordlessly welcomed me and I danced with them as part of the walls. I felt such an overwhelming sense of belonging as if all of the lonliness I had felt before in my life was just debt building up to be repayed in this moment. Soon it ends and I feel as though I am floating four feet above the bed I am on and slowly decending. When I land I feel such an overwhelming sense of warmth that I feel as though I have peed my pants. In fact I become convinced and actually ask the room weather I did in fact pee my pants (i did not). This expirience was obviously profoundly positive and was the first time in a long time that I felt as though I belong. I wrote the following poem about it:
my metal body turns to rust
it lines the room with yellow dust
i dream of those i used to call my home
cascading out in waterfalls
i join the dancers in the walls
our minds become a vibrant polychrome
each beat highlights a different color
walls all spinning through each other
memories of peices of my mind
hues and colors coelesce
the eyes of those who knew me best
in fragments of the me I wish to find
long and short the time elapses
the room of colored walls collapses
filling up the voids within my head
steadily my mind descends
to join my body once again
suspended in the air above the bed
Notable trip #3: "help from the future"
duration ~5 minutes elsewhere, 5 more minutes until sober
dose ~35mg
A few months and a few less impactful trips later, I decide to do DMT again. I am now living with the group of people described in trip #2, but am experiencing some disconnectedness between my sense of self and who I am with others. I decided that I wanted to ask DMT who I am when I interact with others and why it feels different from who I am when I'm alone. I load my 35mg in, take the one hit, admire the geometry on the walls for a second, and close my eyes. I find myself in a DMT space resembling the kitchen of the house where I live, there are people (entities) chatting and drinking and hanging out all around me. I go up to one to talk and realize that it's multicolred morphing cubism face is my own, but from the future. I ask the entity, "who am I" and the entity says (communicates telepathically) "look around" I notice that all of the entities in this room are possible postive versions of myself, all and any of whom I can become if I want to. They all begin to talk, encouraging me, telling me that I am my own version of beutiful both mentally and physically, and can be anything and anyone that I want to weather I am with myself or with others. They say "be the you you want to be, not the you you think others want you to be, they don't" and "people want to be expressive and kind but you hold them and yourself back every day because you hide behind the safest possible outwards expression, do not be afraid" and "stop hiding, I know it is comfortable, but stop". I come down from this trip, admire the circles on the walls and take a shower to process what I just expirienced. It has been two weeks and I still havent fully integrated this trip, I defintely have not done as the entities sugested yet, but I am making progress to become my best and most expressive self.
If you got this far thank you so much, I am excited to post more in the future and I hope you have gained somthing from reading this,
sincerely,
tryptamine enthusiast
Notable trip #1: "maximum possible ego dissolution"
duration ~15 minutes elsewhere, 30 more minutes until sober
dose ~35-50mg (likely closer to 50)
I can divide all of my DMT expiriences into two groups, those that happened prior to this and those which happened after, that is how impactful this trip was. Those before this trip were mediocre or negative experiences where I felt like I was trying to acheive somthing, this "striving to break through" is a dangerous mindset that I think we need to do a better job of discouraging as it puts the user in a negative mental place right before the trip. My expiriences after this trip have all been profoundly positive and spiritually moving. It was a calm tuesday evening, I had done DMT the night before and failed to vaporize everthing in the pipe before tripping and I was determined to get it all this time. I loaded 35mg of freebase into the pipe and meditated for 30 minutes. There is a decent chance that there was excess dmt in the pipe from the night before as i did not change the mesh, this is not something I reccomend, always know your dose. I simply got lucky that this expirience was a positive one. It is highly likely that I inhaled close to 50mg of perfectly vaporized freebase in one hit. Anyway, after meditating I took one massive hit from my homemade pipe, I held it for as long as I could, then I breathed out, or rather I assume I breathed out, because by the time I began to exhale I was already gone. This part gets pretty subjective and difficult to describe, but I will do my very best. This trip was unlike any DMT expirience I had before and unlike any I have had after. Without any warning or visuals I immediatly found myself (or the lack there of) everywhere and nowhere in a place beyond places, there were absolutely no visuals. This "place" (again or lack there of) was an all consuming nothingness where no human construct could exist. I could not remember my name, and I became one with the everything and nothing all around me. (I keep using the word "I" here, but it feels wrong, because "I" wasn't there, nothing was). I felt a profound sense of comfort knowing that all was one and nothing was everything and nothing mattered and because of that everything mattered, I felt immersed in a fluffy cloud of infinite void for an eternity and no time at all. Yes, even time itself ceased to exist, meaning that I now feel as though I have lived forever, but forever is still an amount of time and so no time passed and it ended just as quickly as it started. It is important to realize that opposites did not exist as we typically conceive of them so all of these things were possible. After that eternity and no time in the place of everywhere and everything that was nowhere and nothing where I embodied all of those things and as such did not exist and simultanoesly did, I began to feel a desire to bring things I could comprehend back into that space. I started, with me. I began to pull on my mind to try to bring myself into the place that I was, I tried to remember my name and as I did I saw and felt freeze frames and flashes of my own perception of myself splattering on the windscreen of the void. I unfortunatly found that I did not like how I perceived myself, this led to extreemly positive personal growth after the trip which has drastically improved my depression. Anyway, I kept pulling and pulling until I remembered my name, at this point I realized that time too had reemerged as I felt a distinct chronological order to the peices of me returning. I began to pull concepts back too, nouns as well, human language, a sense of place etc. eventually everything returned to normal and I opened my eyes to see those little fluxuating circles painting the walls of my room, the first visuals of this entire trip. I took three major things away from this expirience. One, this life is the only one I have, I need to stop worrying and have fun, everything matters to much to worry about the small things (I have long been someone who struggles with self-confidence so this was amazing for me). Two: I don't like how I perceive myself and that is the root of most of my unhappiness, I have subsequently worked to change my self perception and it has been hugely impactful in a positive way. Three: I had the feeling that this might just be the maximum possible DMT expirience. (this is my own subjective opinion, it is important to realize that DMT can be many things for many people)
Notable trip #2: "Surrounded by friends"
duration ~5 minutes elsewhere, 10 more minutes until sober
dose ~35mg
After that previous experience I decided DMT had taught me all it could and I wanted to share its knowledge with some friends (all of whom had done various psychadellics in the past and wanted to try DMT I of course did not accept any payment as I feel that is antithetical to the nature of DMT). I gave each of them a shpeil about how to inhale properly, what to expect, to be sure to let go, and how this wasnt just some recreational toy but was rather a profoundly spiritual experience that should not be taken lightly etc. A total of nine people did my DMT throughout the night and one of them even went to the place I described above in trip #1, (an interesting note is that his head rocked from side to side and the whole expirience took close to 45 minutes). Anyway, each sucessive person went and the set and setting and support of the group were so powerful that everyone had a moving expirience and I just felt so greatful to have been able to provide this. I typically like to do DMT alone, and this group was not one which I felt extreemly connected to before this point, so I was not going to do any DMT, I have always struggled with belonging, but at this point in the night I felt super conected to the people arround me, and decided to go for it. I let one of them pick out some music, I loaded 35 milligrams into the pipe, and I inhaled and exhaled one big hit. The music grew louder, I heard the DMT whine, geometry exploded across my vision and soon I was in another place entirely. This was a house not unlike the one I was physically in, the walls were colors and faces pulsing with the now louder music, I saw every possible color shift into another with each beat, and it was as though the walls were people. They all wordlessly welcomed me and I danced with them as part of the walls. I felt such an overwhelming sense of belonging as if all of the lonliness I had felt before in my life was just debt building up to be repayed in this moment. Soon it ends and I feel as though I am floating four feet above the bed I am on and slowly decending. When I land I feel such an overwhelming sense of warmth that I feel as though I have peed my pants. In fact I become convinced and actually ask the room weather I did in fact pee my pants (i did not). This expirience was obviously profoundly positive and was the first time in a long time that I felt as though I belong. I wrote the following poem about it:
my metal body turns to rust
it lines the room with yellow dust
i dream of those i used to call my home
cascading out in waterfalls
i join the dancers in the walls
our minds become a vibrant polychrome
each beat highlights a different color
walls all spinning through each other
memories of peices of my mind
hues and colors coelesce
the eyes of those who knew me best
in fragments of the me I wish to find
long and short the time elapses
the room of colored walls collapses
filling up the voids within my head
steadily my mind descends
to join my body once again
suspended in the air above the bed
Notable trip #3: "help from the future"
duration ~5 minutes elsewhere, 5 more minutes until sober
dose ~35mg
A few months and a few less impactful trips later, I decide to do DMT again. I am now living with the group of people described in trip #2, but am experiencing some disconnectedness between my sense of self and who I am with others. I decided that I wanted to ask DMT who I am when I interact with others and why it feels different from who I am when I'm alone. I load my 35mg in, take the one hit, admire the geometry on the walls for a second, and close my eyes. I find myself in a DMT space resembling the kitchen of the house where I live, there are people (entities) chatting and drinking and hanging out all around me. I go up to one to talk and realize that it's multicolred morphing cubism face is my own, but from the future. I ask the entity, "who am I" and the entity says (communicates telepathically) "look around" I notice that all of the entities in this room are possible postive versions of myself, all and any of whom I can become if I want to. They all begin to talk, encouraging me, telling me that I am my own version of beutiful both mentally and physically, and can be anything and anyone that I want to weather I am with myself or with others. They say "be the you you want to be, not the you you think others want you to be, they don't" and "people want to be expressive and kind but you hold them and yourself back every day because you hide behind the safest possible outwards expression, do not be afraid" and "stop hiding, I know it is comfortable, but stop". I come down from this trip, admire the circles on the walls and take a shower to process what I just expirienced. It has been two weeks and I still havent fully integrated this trip, I defintely have not done as the entities sugested yet, but I am making progress to become my best and most expressive self.
If you got this far thank you so much, I am excited to post more in the future and I hope you have gained somthing from reading this,
sincerely,
tryptamine enthusiast
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