wineart
Rising Star
For more than 30 years I have hoped and waited that a day would come when I could once again "get there". Under the influence of LSD from the early 70's & for more than 8 years I was able to "get there". After the my last "having gotten there" experience, I have been unable to go back. I have on 2 occasions made the attempt but I think the "mics" just weren't there. As you know there is not much in the way of "getting high" (on LSD) that is attractive. If I want "high" I can take a Xanax and a glass of wine & that in my opinion qualifies as "high". The point being LSD & getting high, just isn't for me.
For me at least I must quickly transcend the anxiety stage, rather than drop 75 "mics" and wallow in anxiety, I want to get "over the edge" in a timely manner.
I thought perhaps it was also possible that I had acheived all that LSD was ever going to provide me. For the last 10 years or so I have hoped that one day I could revisit that space in which my being would transcend my being.
In my youth I didn't exactly know what I was (if anything) trying to acheive. So many of my LSD experiences were Dead Show based or in that environment. For me there seemed a collectivism "tripping" with so many thousands of other prople just as dosed as I was.
I hate to say it, but for me "tripping" was wasted in large part on my youth. Perhaps because my Ego had yet to become amplified by my adult life experiences. As I have gotten older my ego has developed it's own sense of false humility and I tend to look at my life as a series of successes, over looking several series of failures, especially in terms of relationships.
Thanksgiving weekend I attended a 35 year Union College fraternity reunion. Back in those days we had a "house band" and a seemingly unending flow of strong acid. When we were all together back then, it felt like we would always be together and there ties that bound us together (eternally).
I feel guilty on many levels that I let so many of the friends I had cherished, slip through my fingers like so many grains of sand and dismiss those relationships by taking them for grantid. Many of these men and women I shared so much with have continued these realtionships with one another. For me as time passed, months turning into years, turning into decades.
I was invited to Woodstock where this reunion was going to take place. My wife of many years had only met 2 of these folks. She has no mind expanding experiences and can't begin to relate to my desire to revisit these youthful places and a "grown-up". I spent most of the weekend chaperoning my wife as there were 139 total strangers she was spending the weekend with.
Unlikely as it sounds "our house band" is still together after all of these years and were the "top booking" at this event. From thier first note until thier final one, I was able to recapture the desire to return to a place where my ego could be exposed to "the light".
After a "drum circle" to start the evening (before cocktails and dinner) one of my long lost friends took me aside and shared some of his knowledge of DMT & that maybe was the tool I am and always have been seeking.
Hence my informational journey, which brought me here. I am here to prepare myself for that moment when I can let go and become one again with the powers and forces that want to guide us into and through our lives.
For me at least I must quickly transcend the anxiety stage, rather than drop 75 "mics" and wallow in anxiety, I want to get "over the edge" in a timely manner.
I thought perhaps it was also possible that I had acheived all that LSD was ever going to provide me. For the last 10 years or so I have hoped that one day I could revisit that space in which my being would transcend my being.
In my youth I didn't exactly know what I was (if anything) trying to acheive. So many of my LSD experiences were Dead Show based or in that environment. For me there seemed a collectivism "tripping" with so many thousands of other prople just as dosed as I was.
I hate to say it, but for me "tripping" was wasted in large part on my youth. Perhaps because my Ego had yet to become amplified by my adult life experiences. As I have gotten older my ego has developed it's own sense of false humility and I tend to look at my life as a series of successes, over looking several series of failures, especially in terms of relationships.
Thanksgiving weekend I attended a 35 year Union College fraternity reunion. Back in those days we had a "house band" and a seemingly unending flow of strong acid. When we were all together back then, it felt like we would always be together and there ties that bound us together (eternally).
I feel guilty on many levels that I let so many of the friends I had cherished, slip through my fingers like so many grains of sand and dismiss those relationships by taking them for grantid. Many of these men and women I shared so much with have continued these realtionships with one another. For me as time passed, months turning into years, turning into decades.
I was invited to Woodstock where this reunion was going to take place. My wife of many years had only met 2 of these folks. She has no mind expanding experiences and can't begin to relate to my desire to revisit these youthful places and a "grown-up". I spent most of the weekend chaperoning my wife as there were 139 total strangers she was spending the weekend with.
Unlikely as it sounds "our house band" is still together after all of these years and were the "top booking" at this event. From thier first note until thier final one, I was able to recapture the desire to return to a place where my ego could be exposed to "the light".
After a "drum circle" to start the evening (before cocktails and dinner) one of my long lost friends took me aside and shared some of his knowledge of DMT & that maybe was the tool I am and always have been seeking.
Hence my informational journey, which brought me here. I am here to prepare myself for that moment when I can let go and become one again with the powers and forces that want to guide us into and through our lives.
