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a letter to my mother
- Thread starter psychosisdoses
- Start date
I'm glad you're having a good time Psych! I don't think you can call 'The Secret' "fact", as there's no proof. I'd say it's one of many interesting propositions. Have to be honest your mom may not think your letter sounds crazy, but I think it does a bit, but then I think the conventionally religious are crazy too (anyone who believes anything unscientific, basically), I think most people are! 
Dreamer sent a long letter to a music magazine praising the wonderfulness of MDMA when he was 17 (oops), and this reminds him a little of that, similar sentiment. Personally I think conversations like that are better in person, so you can judge reactions while expressing your views... gives you a chance to stop disclosing info if necessary. No-one's disrespecting you here so no cause for indignance (I know I can be like that too sometimes), they're trying to help. I'm glad you're over your addictions, I feel the love too, the smile on my face before sleep. DMT and mescaline are incredibly profound
WE ARE ALL ONE (and I can say that without fear of scientific contradiction!)
Dreamer sent a long letter to a music magazine praising the wonderfulness of MDMA when he was 17 (oops), and this reminds him a little of that, similar sentiment. Personally I think conversations like that are better in person, so you can judge reactions while expressing your views... gives you a chance to stop disclosing info if necessary. No-one's disrespecting you here so no cause for indignance (I know I can be like that too sometimes), they're trying to help. I'm glad you're over your addictions, I feel the love too, the smile on my face before sleep. DMT and mescaline are incredibly profound WE ARE ALL ONE (and I can say that without fear of scientific contradiction!)
Level up, brother. ;]
good morning.
everyone thought I was nuts, too . .
good morning.
everyone thought I was nuts, too . .
psychosis..
I wish you the best of luck in your journey and hope you find everything you are searching for and more:d
I wish you the best of luck in your journey and hope you find everything you are searching for and more:d
why can we just all be so happy that psy is no longer doing what he once was...and excited that he has realized a better way to live...and to be able to be so open to his mother..and explain to her WHAT has happened...i think THAT is the blessing...i feel we should have been worried about psy back when he wasnt on his right path...no need to be worried now that he has transcended onto a better one for HIM...
nodice
Rising Star
antrocles said:psy- i choose to believe. i believe you HAVE broken through to the next level.....i am quite sure there will be a few more levels to break through on your path, but for now you have taken off an extra layer of the onion and i feel that the world is a better place for it.
p.s. your mom is cool beyond words.....can you see if she'd be interested at all in adopting a handsome 39 year-old man?
....and LET ME KNOW when you move back out to cali brother!!
LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
I to would like to be adopted by your mom.
That woman needs her own forums where we can all talk to her.
please share
)I had a rough time when my mom died and I really appreciate hospice for coming in and helping me to understand what was happening to her. Your mom is a saint dude!
wow people thank you so much for your kind words
i have been through so much to get to this point and it makes it all worth it..
i am so grateful to have you people in my life.
i have been through so much to get to this point and it makes it all worth it..
i am so grateful to have you people in my life.
Amen buddy!
Sounds like you're doing GREAT. I applaud to your openess...
Psy, how are you doing and how is everything going?
If you have the openness in the relationship with your mother to talk with her like that--I have friends who do--that is amazing! Congratulations on the breakthrough, too.
I can't give advice about what to say or not to say, because people's relationships with their parents vary SO wildly.
I have a great relationship with my dad, though he has probably never even heard of Ayahuasca. But one time, something came up in a ceremony that I absolutely had to discuss with him.
One of the major reasons I sought out Ayahuasca was to heal all the neuroses I internalized from living with my mother. We hadn't spoken in many years.
I had a series of breakthroughs with Aya about different aspects of my relationship with my mother, and there was one time where I saw her soul. I saw her soul was on FIRE. It was an intense experience, but seeing her from that perspective was what enabled me to find compassion for her, and all the ways she struck out at me as a child. By then, I had left the country, and had no way of getting in touch with her. Perhaps my dad had a prayer of a chance (my mom really does need some kind of mental help, she lives all alone, way, way out in the mountains, never answers the telephone...).
I had to talk to my dad! But I had no idea what to say. So, I told him that I had a dream (I've always been into dreams), and I briefly described some of what I had *visionarily* seen, without actually going into the means to the end. After all, the content and the result was the most important thing. I had an AWESOME talk with my dad, he was able to track down the information (he found her work number). I DID get in touch with my mom and say what I needed to say to make my peace--though it was a bit sad in that she is so far gone, there wasn't the emotional resonance I was hoping for.
But, at the end of my conversation with my dad, he threw in, "Yeah, don't eat too many magic mushrooms."
I've never once had the "drugs" talk with my dad. But maybe I should someday. (He has a wicked kaleidoscope collection... ) I sometimes wish we were more open.
If you have the openness in the relationship with your mother to talk with her like that--I have friends who do--that is amazing! Congratulations on the breakthrough, too.
I can't give advice about what to say or not to say, because people's relationships with their parents vary SO wildly.
I have a great relationship with my dad, though he has probably never even heard of Ayahuasca. But one time, something came up in a ceremony that I absolutely had to discuss with him.
One of the major reasons I sought out Ayahuasca was to heal all the neuroses I internalized from living with my mother. We hadn't spoken in many years.
I had a series of breakthroughs with Aya about different aspects of my relationship with my mother, and there was one time where I saw her soul. I saw her soul was on FIRE. It was an intense experience, but seeing her from that perspective was what enabled me to find compassion for her, and all the ways she struck out at me as a child. By then, I had left the country, and had no way of getting in touch with her. Perhaps my dad had a prayer of a chance (my mom really does need some kind of mental help, she lives all alone, way, way out in the mountains, never answers the telephone...).
I had to talk to my dad! But I had no idea what to say. So, I told him that I had a dream (I've always been into dreams), and I briefly described some of what I had *visionarily* seen, without actually going into the means to the end. After all, the content and the result was the most important thing. I had an AWESOME talk with my dad, he was able to track down the information (he found her work number). I DID get in touch with my mom and say what I needed to say to make my peace--though it was a bit sad in that she is so far gone, there wasn't the emotional resonance I was hoping for.
But, at the end of my conversation with my dad, he threw in, "Yeah, don't eat too many magic mushrooms."
I've never once had the "drugs" talk with my dad. But maybe I should someday. (He has a wicked kaleidoscope collection...
) I sometimes wish we were more open.
MMM- you are a true gift to this forum. thanks for being so open and honest with your wisdom and experience!!
Psy- all is love little brother....and you are at the center of it all! anyone willing to be so raw and honest on this forum will get nothing but support from me. this community is so righteous and such a wonderful healing force in the lives of all those involved with it....
in the words of....well....YOU:
"I LOVE US!"
...the day will come when the made-up names and avatars will be replaced by real names and photos!!...and then...
...GATHERINGS!!
LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
Psy- all is love little brother....and you are at the center of it all!
anyone willing to be so raw and honest on this forum will get nothing but support from me. this community is so righteous and such a wonderful healing force in the lives of all those involved with it....in the words of....well....YOU:
"I LOVE US!"
...the day will come when the made-up names and avatars will be replaced by real names and photos!!...and then...
...GATHERINGS!!
LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
Love you Psy!!! and Love all of you here.
I'm so happy we are all a part of each others lives, even if it is only through the internet.
I feel love radiating from all of you like I have never felt before.
As you grow, and we all grow, never forget that we are all here for each other.
I will always provide as much help as I can to any of you who asks...
Eventually we will begin to see where we all fit in and where we all can help the most.
I'm so happy we are all a part of each others lives, even if it is only through the internet.
I feel love radiating from all of you like I have never felt before.
As you grow, and we all grow, never forget that we are all here for each other.
I will always provide as much help as I can to any of you who asks...
Eventually we will begin to see where we all fit in and where we all can help the most.
yesssss thank you antrocles so much!
the nexus really is a godsend in my life.. its allowed me to find myself and heal
i cant believe a year ago i wanted to commit suicide id never dream of it now!
the support iv found here has saved my life.
taken from the bottle of magical soap i use everyday :
"to keep my health to do my work to love to live to see to it that i gain and grow and give and give! never to look behind me for an hour never to wait in weakness nor to brag in power always working searching for more truth more light always writing teaching what i found GOOD AND RIGHT! robbed starved beaten fallen wide astray back with the full truth iv learned back to the way!"
the nexus really is a godsend in my life.. its allowed me to find myself and heal
i cant believe a year ago i wanted to commit suicide id never dream of it now!
the support iv found here has saved my life.
taken from the bottle of magical soap i use everyday :
"to keep my health to do my work to love to live to see to it that i gain and grow and give and give! never to look behind me for an hour never to wait in weakness nor to brag in power always working searching for more truth more light always writing teaching what i found GOOD AND RIGHT! robbed starved beaten fallen wide astray back with the full truth iv learned back to the way!"
My dreamer was contemplating suicide before he discovered ayawaska and DMT too. I have total faith in the molecule, because he owes his life to it after all conventional routes had not been enough, and I have total faith in the people who taught him about it- Erowid, Ayahuasca Forums, and the DMT Nexus- and I thank you all. He is now cured and no longer needs the molecule. I nominate you all for the Peace Prize. Haha, never thought I'd be writing corny testimonials like this
(P.s. anyone who has been helped by aya and DMT, I would suggest that after a while has passed and you are confident in a permanent positive change, write a retrospective report for Erowid for the health section of their trip reports.)
(P.s. anyone who has been helped by aya and DMT, I would suggest that after a while has passed and you are confident in a permanent positive change, write a retrospective report for Erowid for the health section of their trip reports.)
Awesome idea, Ohayoco...
The end of compulsive suicidal thoughts happened quite accidentally with an unexpected gift of mushrooms. But, shortly after that, Aya arrived, and then we spent well over a year (and things still pop up from time to time for examination) unraveling all the damage and reasons for thoughts... I have never respected life, my life, and my body so much...
This is why I love EVERYONE here so much, and I love that you share your stories!! It's such an incredible gift...
I love us, too. :d
The end of compulsive suicidal thoughts happened quite accidentally with an unexpected gift of mushrooms. But, shortly after that, Aya arrived, and then we spent well over a year (and things still pop up from time to time for examination) unraveling all the damage and reasons for thoughts... I have never respected life, my life, and my body so much...
This is why I love EVERYONE here so much, and I love that you share your stories!! It's such an incredible gift...
I love us, too. :d
yes this place is such a blessing to me as well..I feel like the nexus is like my spiritual family..I love this place and everyone that contributes, making the nexus what it is:d
BTW minxx, I really like your posts and outlook on these things, keep up the good work!
BTW minxx, I really like your posts and outlook on these things, keep up the good work!
I am alternately admonished by plants and inspired by those who ingest admonishing plants. :d