Hey folks,
I haven't really been around the nexus during the past year or so. I needed some time away so that I could gather my composure and sort my shit. This inevitably resulted in abstaining from almost all substances, including: medications, cannabis, alcohol, and psychedelics. For the first time in a long time, the mental fog was lifted.
Alcohol was the number one priority. I stopped drinking for an entire year and two days. I celebrated my one year (and two day) anniversary with a beer.
The beer wasn't as fun as I had remembered it to be, but it did serve a purpose. The purpose was a reminder and a test. Did I remember? Did I pass the test? Well.... I don't remember what I was being tested over, so I decided I would go ahead and consider that a "pass." From daily six-packs, to total abstinence, and then the reminder: I remembered that I'd grown apathetic towards alcohol. It lost the spark that it once had. I was no longer interested and the buzz had lost its appeal.
Speaking of sparks, the other huge change was cannabis consumption. Daily use, multiple times a day, for ~15 years. HOLY HELL! I had never gone through such horrible withdrawals. When I stopped, it was worse than detoxing from any drug that I had ever taken. I don't like admitting this because many of us want cannabis to be the good-guy. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I had diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting for more than a week. I was in a constant state of vertigo. I was shocked at how difficult the withdrawals were. But, I made it through!
I gave it a few weeks and decided, "Oh, why not? I'll smoke a small bowl!" I didn't finish that bowl - I was only able to take about 4 puffs from it. And then the chaos began. I freaked out. It felt like an uncomfortable 15-20 mg vaped DMT trip that lasted for hours. I was experiencing open-eye visuals and frantic thoughts raced through my mind. I ended up covering my face with a blanket and forced myself to fall asleep. I woke up feeling pretty rough. What had happened?! Was that what being high was like? Had I been maintaining the constant buzz for the past 15 years without experiencing the contrast? I reckon.
The break from psychedelics wasn't really uncommon. I take breaks from them from time to time. I have yet to dive back in, but I'm sure it'll be on the agenda sometime soon. Maybe it won't. Some things have changed. Some haven't.
Either way, I decided that it may be a good time to become more active on the Nexus, again. I hope you all have been doing well.
ACY
I haven't really been around the nexus during the past year or so. I needed some time away so that I could gather my composure and sort my shit. This inevitably resulted in abstaining from almost all substances, including: medications, cannabis, alcohol, and psychedelics. For the first time in a long time, the mental fog was lifted.
Alcohol was the number one priority. I stopped drinking for an entire year and two days. I celebrated my one year (and two day) anniversary with a beer.
The beer wasn't as fun as I had remembered it to be, but it did serve a purpose. The purpose was a reminder and a test. Did I remember? Did I pass the test? Well.... I don't remember what I was being tested over, so I decided I would go ahead and consider that a "pass." From daily six-packs, to total abstinence, and then the reminder: I remembered that I'd grown apathetic towards alcohol. It lost the spark that it once had. I was no longer interested and the buzz had lost its appeal. Speaking of sparks, the other huge change was cannabis consumption. Daily use, multiple times a day, for ~15 years. HOLY HELL! I had never gone through such horrible withdrawals. When I stopped, it was worse than detoxing from any drug that I had ever taken. I don't like admitting this because many of us want cannabis to be the good-guy. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I had diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting for more than a week. I was in a constant state of vertigo. I was shocked at how difficult the withdrawals were. But, I made it through!
I gave it a few weeks and decided, "Oh, why not? I'll smoke a small bowl!" I didn't finish that bowl - I was only able to take about 4 puffs from it. And then the chaos began. I freaked out. It felt like an uncomfortable 15-20 mg vaped DMT trip that lasted for hours. I was experiencing open-eye visuals and frantic thoughts raced through my mind. I ended up covering my face with a blanket and forced myself to fall asleep. I woke up feeling pretty rough. What had happened?! Was that what being high was like? Had I been maintaining the constant buzz for the past 15 years without experiencing the contrast? I reckon.
The break from psychedelics wasn't really uncommon. I take breaks from them from time to time. I have yet to dive back in, but I'm sure it'll be on the agenda sometime soon. Maybe it won't. Some things have changed. Some haven't.
Either way, I decided that it may be a good time to become more active on the Nexus, again. I hope you all have been doing well.
ACY
