Not sure what you mean there. I was expressing that initial confusion there can be, or at least I certainly had, when I started meditating and the idea of doing nothing was at odds with my ingrained concepts of starting something new and preconceptions of what meditation was going to achieve in terms of potential benefits and insights.

But as understanding deepened with regular practice it became clearer to me that these initial preconceptions were just replacing one set of goals for another and became something I was trying to do or achieve.It was only when I let go of this and realised that I didn't need to try to do anything that my practice improved.

I'm not sure that only a silent mind means that you call it meditation. You can be meditating with a flurry of thoughts coming in and out but accepting their presence, observing them and letting them go without attaching to them and getting caught up in them can still be called meditation. But obviously if/when the mind does fully shut up that would great!

I try to meditate through out the day but inevitably my mind wanders, lifes distractions can whisk me away. But I keep trying to come back to that silence, by giving full attention to whatever task it is I am engaged with. It's a full time practice!

I know what I initially wanted when I started but I don't know what, if anything, meditation has done for me over the years I just know I wouldn't be without it now.