A re-examination of MDMA

[Muskogee Herbman]

Sorry ahead of time this is kind of a long post.

I haven't really experienced MDMA that much due to the nature of those in control of it these days, being rather unreliable. Also, the fact that its widely abused really turned me off towards this chemical. I've been a huge acid fan since my brother introduced it to me on new years in 2010, but MDMA just never appealed to me. I even once read an essay on drugs in relation to architectural styles and talking about the difference between acid architecture(60's) which was designed to be more mental, and ecstasy architecture(90's), which was all about sensuality. And well, I've always been a thinker, so mental is more my thing.

My first MDMA experience was mostly awful, it was when I realized that I hate clubs and became kind of disgusted with I guess my youth culture of just wanting to wasted and get laid. I abandoned this drug for quite sometime, until I was in the first year of my graduate program and needed to stay up for multiple days so I was micro dosing "MDMA" to stay awake. The results were actually quite positive, I had a great project, a great presentation, my professor even said "Wow, where was this ***** all year, keep it up!" After that I abandoned it again.

Its been a good 2 years since I've had any experience with any MDMA derivative and I've never really quite had the psychedelic effects of the drug before, and I've been totally against the drug during that period, however my buddy said he found some "pure." I don't really trust when I hear that because I've been assured that something was "pure" acid, and I didn't believe them, and turns out that "pure" liquid LSD was DOC and did not end well for my friends that took it, my skepticism saved me.

So anyway I dumped the cap into a water bottle and drank it over the course of about 30 minutes, I don't really like hard rushes. I was hanging out at home with just my cat watching TV. I began to feel the drug after about an hour, it started with butterflies in my stomach and then became a body high somewhat similar to LSD/DMT. I decided to take a shower because I was feeling a little restless. This where I noticed the difference between the body highs of LSD and MDMA, when I was massaging myself my muscles seemed more relaxed then they have ever been before. I often get massages because I have cluster headaches and after an attack I get really bad muscle aches in my neck and upper back, I began thinking how amazing it would be to get one of those massages under the influence of this drug.

After I got out of the shower I smoked some cannabis and started working on some drawings for a class, and found that it was much much much more easier for me to work than while in my sober consciousness. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 7 and used Ritalin for 7 years however I have not touched any of those type of drugs since because it resulted in my anorexia, severe depression, as well as strange bizarre things that still confuse me today. I began thinking is the "Psychedelic" effects of MDMA just stimulating my creativity, or is the fact that MDMA is a type of amphetamine thus improving my ability to concentrate. This is making me contemplate going back to ritalin in order to produce work easier. I am still rather against amphetamine and ritalin class drugs, but maybe low doses of MDMA can be a substitute as I was using to stay awake earlier in the post.

I finished drawing what I had to draw (it was an assignment for class) and a lot of my restlessness had faded away so I decided to smoke some DMT. I was having issues meditating at that time and I thought some DMT would help keep me focused. I also purchased some NO2 so I prepared some of that for my session. I put a medium sized dose of DMT in a weed sandwich, turned on one of my favorite songs and began my session.

I often get enthralled with the patterns and thinking that they somehow are the answer to my questions, but in this particular instance they were entertaining but rather not important. I've been reading a lot about Psychedelic therapy, Zen Buddhism, and spirituality, and all of the research I've been doing for my thesis began to really click. The following is a paragraph I wrote post trip.

"I am not sure how these drugs can help most of our society by using the drug itself. An understanding of the experience is needed. The visions, thoughts, feelings are just manifestations of subconscious information that to modern society is thought to be insanity, or perhaps things one should keep to oneself because its "weird". But I believe that we have the same fears and anxieties we just aren't aware of them until they manifest at an inopportune time. I don't believe one has to have a psychedelic drug in order to achieve their own understanding of the universe and self. We need to be better educated on our minds and behaviors."

Now with No2 I often feel that the "profound revelation" that I have is often either something that really wasn't profound at all, (Just as William James who wrote a profound revelation during a No2 experience that turned out to just be: "Hogamouse, Higamous, Man is polygamous. Higamous, Hogamous Woman is monogamous.") Or I end up thinking that there is no purpose to what we do as humans.

With the mix of DMT + MDMA + No2 I found that instead of thinking that there is no point, I found that there is no purpose to trying to be, but rather to simply be. This sounds impossible and maybe is part of the Zen from Watts, but It just made so much sense. Just BE. Once I realized this I wrote a quote in my journal I'm keeping for my thesis "Do not force your thoughts, they will come on their own."

This revelation has freed up some of my anxieties I've been having, in also relation to my aforementioned ADD. I hope that I am able to integrate these behaviors and revelations that I have had under these mystical drugs into my daily behaviors so that my creativity flows more fluidly, and gain better control over my fears and anxieties.

In conclusion, I have a new appreciation of MDMA, not a overwhelming desire to do it again but to further investigate it again sometime in the future when I have purpose to do so. I might post more as I remember more events from last night lol. Thanks and I hope you enjoyed this essay

 

[redsquirrel]

I have also had mixed feelings with MDMA, going through periods of total enthrallment and total disillusionment.

It has been nearly ten years since I have taken "pure" MDMDA. There was a period years ago when I had a hook up for what I consider the purest molly imaginable. Since then, the few times I have taken it it has been total garbage.

LSD was my first love, and I found the MDMA experience lacking in many ways to the insights gained with acid. For me, ecstacsy was always about emotion. The ideal setting for me was taking it with a few friends in a mellow situation. I have taken it plenty at shows, but I always though it was too overwhelming and distracting in that situation. The problem with MDMA for me was that often times I would take a 180 turn as soon as the magic started to wear off. You would go from loving everyone and giving hugs to hating life and fiending. That is extreme, of course, but not far off the mark.

I remember one of the first times I took MDMA in college. I was rolling hard, cuddled up on a bed with some good friends. I remarked how much I loved my parents. Somebody said I needed to tell them that. "Your right!" I busted out my cell phone and called my parents at 4 in the morning. "Mom- I'm on ecstasy! Its beautiful, I love you so much!" My parents never even smoked weed. It made for a very awkward Thanksgiving in the weeks to come.

 

[Anarkid]

I have never tried MDMA because of the association I always give it with the party culture. I typically do not place myself in any close proximity to nightclubs, raves, etc and these are the places that have become associated with MDMA. I (as Muskogee mentioned earlier) have a bad taste in my mouth for the apathetic, disrespectful, ignorant world of clubbing, fashion, MTV lifestyles and such. It is rather offensive to me. These people have no vision. They have no concern for the world around them (or for anything that doesn't concern their pocketbook or a good time). They wear the latest fashion of their particular subculture to the hottest nightclub and dance to the newest dubstep/hiphop/dance crap while casting aside cares for anything outside of their "world". This is just the group I have associated it with. Maybe I have misjudged the chemical due to its misuse by the ignorant gutter trolls of the world.

I made this same mistake with Salvia in the past, assuming that it was just a joke of a drug for desperate fools rying to get high off any "legal high" in the head shop. Until recently, I never realized the profound and spiritual capabilities of Salvia. Maybe I should rethink my view of MDMA, as I have Salvia, and evaluate it again for application and experimentation in my life.

 

[Muskogee Herbman]

I think MDMA has some beautiful potential but you must educate yourself first, or hopefully in the future seek out a therapist that will guide the experience. MDMA could be a prescription drug in 2021

With that the abuse potential of MDMA is widely apparent. I find it funny my buddy didn't really like it because it wasn't "uppity" enough for him, but for me I hate that, so I loved it. So with these less pure forms of MDMA the abuse potential rises exponentially with each different adulterant from Methamphetamine to Heroin. It is extremely unfortunate to see a psychedelic fall into the hands of ruthless criminals that would expose unknowing people to harmful products under the guise of PLUR. There is a lot of caution that should be used when considering the drug.

Also to be considered with the potential abuse of MDMA is the setting that it is taken in. Now, there is nothing wrong with taking it with company. In an expanded form of Timothy Leary's 8 circuit conscious model MDMA fits under the social/sexual network, so it is definitely a drug that can loosen rigid people who don't open up and can be used to help people with sex issues. I think the club setting is the wrong place. I read the Psychedelic Experience book by Leary and didn't understand what he meant by distractions until really this experience. It is the same way that LSD can be abused by distracting yourself witth the visuals as described by Leary. As I thought that answers were in patterns (like unity, interconectnedness, "IT" etc.) but sometimes they are just distractions that provide pure entertainment. I'm not sure if there's anything wrong with that but, the primary goal should be growth, not pure entertainment. I hope this doesn't come across as inquisitional against using MDMA in a particular way, but to me club culture is not representative of the message of psychedelia/PLUR, or conducive to MDMA being therapeutic. I think there are some artists out there that really do convey psychedelia, but the vast majority of club culture is not. Again I hope this was not offensive to anyone.

@redsquirrel: Thanks for that commentary. That's pretty hillarious but an amazing thing to think that an "illegal drug" produced a behavior that is generally considered a beautiful thing. I laughed pretty hard when I read that lol.

@Anarkidd most of that was geared towards continuing your response but I totally agree. Perhaps if you come across some really reliable stuff that you test, you should take it and also take a ride in the DMT catapult I have not tried Salvia, but am somewhat interested, its illegal in my state. I've heard some crazy stories that I am not that interested in recreating in my own mind lol.

 

[corpus callosum]

So with these less pure forms of MDMA the abuse potential rises exponentially with each different adulterant from Methamphetamine to Heroin.

Im not sure that heroin is an 'appropriate' cut for MDMA- its not orally active except at very large doses which would make it commercially illogical for the 'vendor'.

 

[corpus callosum]

So with these less pure forms of MDMA the abuse potential rises exponentially with each different adulterant from Methamphetamine to Heroin.

Im not sure that heroin is an 'appropriate' cut for MDMA- its not especially orally active except at very large doses which would make it commercially illogical for the 'vendor'.

 

[Anarkid]

So with these less pure forms of MDMA the abuse potential rises exponentially with each different adulterant from Methamphetamine to Heroin.

Im not sure that heroin is an 'appropriate' cut for MDMA- its not especially orally active except at very large doses which would make it commercially illogical for the 'vendor'.

I have had the same thought. I believe most MDMA vendors cut with meth (if they are the sort of pathetic, low, lying creature to cut their drugs) and it seems that would be a more harmonious drug to mix with MDMA. This is another thing that has kept me away from MDMA. I have no desire to do anything that has the potential to contain methamphetamine. If I could find a good, pure source, maybe I would give it a try. The city I live in is known for illegitimate and shady dealers. So I tend to keep my distance from them.

 

[SHroomtroll]

I have never tried MDMA because of the association I always give it with the party culture. I typically do not place myself in any close proximity to nightclubs, raves, etc and these are the places that have become associated with MDMA. I (as Muskogee mentioned earlier) have a bad taste in my mouth for the apathetic, disrespectful, ignorant world of clubbing, fashion, MTV lifestyles and such. It is rather offensive to me. These people have no vision. They have no concern for the world around them (or for anything that doesn't concern their pocketbook or a good time). They wear the latest fashion of their particular subculture to the hottest nightclub and dance to the newest dubstep/hiphop/dance crap while casting aside cares for anything outside of their "world". This is just the group I have associated it with. Maybe I have misjudged the chemical due to its misuse by the ignorant gutter trolls of the world.

I made this same mistake with Salvia in the past, assuming that it was just a joke of a drug for desperate fools rying to get high off any "legal high" in the head shop. Until recently, I never realized the profound and spiritual capabilities of Salvia. Maybe I should rethink my view of MDMA, as I have Salvia, and evaluate it again for application and experimentation in my life.

I really think you should, esp the rave scene is filled with mellow hippies who smoke dmt at dancefloors and spread a positive vibe.
Of course there is also meth heads and other addicts going to these parties but thats just how it is.

 

[Muskogee Herbman]

I think there are some raves that really can manifest some of the thrapeutic uses of MDMA, but in my city you can't even rave at the clubs because they are so over filled with people. You have to go to the beach where they do drum circles and stuff, Much more chill vibe. I always liked the more underground type rave scene. I love me some Pretty Lights, Blackmill, Tycho and some others. I also like to do Poi and its just not possible in the club scene here. Too many frat stars and fist pumpers.

Heroin is not often cut with MDMA in fact its extremely rare, however it has happened and I didn't say it to be like all MDMA is cut with heroin, it was more to point out that is being cut with all kinds of drugs that have nothing to do with psychedelics. Opoids in MDMA
I also thought why would anyone put heroin in MDMA seems stupid and counterproductive. But drug dealers don't care about philosophies or anything other than profit.

 

[SHroomtroll]

I think there are some raves that really can manifest some of the thrapeutic uses of MDMA, but in my city you can't even rave at the clubs because they are so over filled with people. You have to go to the beach where they do drum circles and stuff, Much more chill vibe. I always liked the more underground type rave scene. I love me some Pretty Lights, Blackmill, Tycho and some others. I also like to do Poi and its just not possible in the club scene here. Too many frat stars and fist pumpers.

Heroin is not often cut with MDMA in fact its extremely rare, however it has happened and I didn't say it to be like all MDMA is cut with heroin, it was more to point out that is being cut with all kinds of drugs that have nothing to do with psychedelics. Opoids in MDMA
I also thought why would anyone put heroin in MDMA seems stupid and counterproductive. But drug dealers don't care about philosophies or anything other than profit.

Yeah thats what im talking about, i dont even count club parties as raves, even if they play the right music.

A real rave is secret/illegal or some kind of festival in nature.

 

[Nathanial.Dread]

So with these less pure forms of MDMA the abuse potential rises exponentially with each different adulterant from Methamphetamine to Heroin.

Im not sure that heroin is an 'appropriate' cut for MDMA- its not especially orally active except at very large doses which would make it commercially illogical for the 'vendor'.

I have had the same thought. I believe most MDMA vendors cut with meth (if they are the sort of pathetic, low, lying creature to cut their drugs) and it seems that would be a more harmonious drug to mix with MDMA. This is another thing that has kept me away from MDMA. I have no desire to do anything that has the potential to contain methamphetamine. If I could find a good, pure source, maybe I would give it a try. The city I live in is known for illegitimate and shady dealers. So I tend to keep my distance from them.

What exactly is so bad about methamphetamine? It's a molecule, just like LSD and DMT. In it's pure form, a one-time experience with it doesn't have the potential to be catastrophically damaging.

When it is abused, by those who do not take adequate care of their health, yes, it can be hugely damaging, but, let me tell you, so can psychedelics.

I feel like in the psychedelic community, certain drugs are unfairly maligned and users ostracized, even though it is that exact same thought process that prompts non-users to look at us as degenerates.

 

[Anarkid]

So with these less pure forms of MDMA the abuse potential rises exponentially with each different adulterant from Methamphetamine to Heroin.

Im not sure that heroin is an 'appropriate' cut for MDMA- its not especially orally active except at very large doses which would make it commercially illogical for the 'vendor'.

I have had the same thought. I believe most MDMA vendors cut with meth (if they are the sort of pathetic, low, lying creature to cut their drugs) and it seems that would be a more harmonious drug to mix with MDMA. This is another thing that has kept me away from MDMA. I have no desire to do anything that has the potential to contain methamphetamine. If I could find a good, pure source, maybe I would give it a try. The city I live in is known for illegitimate and shady dealers. So I tend to keep my distance from them.

What exactly is so bad about methamphetamine? It's a molecule, just like LSD and DMT. In it's pure form, a one-time experience with it doesn't have the potential to be catastrophically damaging.

When it is abused, by those who do not take adequate care of their health, yes, it can be hugely damaging, but, let me tell you, so can psychedelics.

I feel like in the psychedelic community, certain drugs are unfairly maligned and users ostracized, even though it is that exact same thought process that prompts non-users to look at us as degenerates.

Oh no, no, no. I did not mean that I think poorly of anyone who uses methamphetamine or that I view it differently than other drugs. I have a taste for stimulants. An unhealthy taste. So I try to keep them at distance. Occasional cocaine use I can handle. An addy every now and again. I'm not so sure that I could control meth as well so I stay away. I feel the same way about "bath salts" and other cathinones. I had a minor problem with coke developing for a bit. Ever since then, I keep my distance.

 

[wesker]

I love MDMA and XTC as much as i love LSD, ive taking both for almot 15 years, i had been taking from 10 to 30 per month for a while, also i stopped doing this, after the 5th pill you take you dont even need more, so now i take 2 or 3 per weekend, i love parties, not clubs but small private raves and home parties and i like to keep going until morning, also i noticed that i dont like alcohol, and if imgoing to drink i need to take some xtc, otherwise im not gonna drink at all.