Self-container
I am in me
I already introduced myself a little in this post. However, I'd like to post a more proper introduction (more generally representative) just for the sake of sharing who I am (and also because my ego likes to talk about itself, heh). If my introduction resonates with anyone, I hope you don't feel shy in talking with me; I don't bite (unless... you like that? I mean I don't want to be close-minded... if that floats your boat, I don't see why I'd refuse to try it out. Maybe I'll like it too? ...So, anyways... when should I bite you?).
As you can tell, my defining feature is an egregious abuse of parentheses; but then again, isn't life really just a string of paranthetical remarks remarking on each other? The tools become the purposes, and the purposes become the tools. Sometimes however, the tools becomes weapons, and the purposes become nightmares. One of my biggest challenges is finding peace in constant change; on the other hand, how could I ever be peaceful if nothing changed?
So, who am I? Today, I'm yesterday yapping about tomorrow. In this river, I yearn for solid ground; I mean, even Sisyphus has a hill to depend on. So, clearly there's a place to stand somewhere, however small; and as such, my current primary goal is finding it. Therefore, I am working on building a philosophical system, intended to create a basis of refinable and increasingly certain facts about reality. In these efforts, I employ absolute skepticism, which poses many challenges, but also forces me to see ever more fundamental truths.
In my philosophy, I am drawn towards metaphysical idealism, panpsychism, Oneness, nonduality, logic, self-reference and will. I suspect will may be the fundamental substance of everything, though perhaps mind is instead; perhaps they are one and the same. I wonder if the underlying will of reality is also love, God and positivity, where positivity is conflated as both goodness and also as presence & being, as opposed to absence and non-being. Maybe pure being and pure nothing are the same, for is not a blank canvas and a fully painted canvas equally devoid of detail? The dance of opposities; their co-dependency; Yin and Yang; this is a topic on my mind as of late. I love both Western and Eastern philosophy. I love science and mathematics.
I use psychedelics to explore philosophy. But I also use them for personal exploration and development. They are two sides of the same coin for me, but the former is the cognitive side, and the latter the emotional side. I have been on a spiritual journey that has increased my awareness of the love inherent to reality; I find myself more compassionate, empathic and loving of everyone and everything. I am still blind most of the time, but the love is starting to shine through the cracks more and more. To be, or not to be? The question is rhetorical; by merely reading the question we have answered it. Tapping into this awareness has given a new breath to my life.
I wish to explore and develop all these thoughts, attitudes and awarenesses during, and after integration of, freebase DMT and Ayahuasca trips. Now, where am I as far as experience is concerned? Well, I have yet to try these powerful drugs, though I have had two intense (for me) trips on changa. The level of change was to the degree of seeing my uncle as a cartoon character, feeling my entire being shaken to its core, being too dumbfounded to speak, experiencing my pockets as possessing impossible, endless geometry, and nearly being engulfed by the visual distortion of the environment. So, I did not enter the waiting room, and I most definitely didn't break through. I don't say this with disappointment (I don't think I was ready back then); I simply want to inform you guys about my inexperience. On my changa trip, I did not dare to close my eyes. In light of this, I have thus not experienced a full immersion in a fully hallucinatory environment; this immersion is something I am yearning for. When on heroic doses of LSD, I have had 3D visuals, and although they had some depth to them, I did not quite feel I was inside the space they implied. In addition, my close-eyed visuals on LSD and shrooms have been somewhat low-resolution, and my mind states on higher doses have been dreamy and amnesiac. My open-eyed visuals on LSD have been quite vivid however. In short, I wish to graduate to DMT and Ayahuasca.
This wish has brought me here. What I found was that this nexus offers what appears to be a great community as well, so I think the tool wound up becoming the purpose
I am rambling (or rather, unraveling), but no honest introduction of me could be otherwise.
Peace,
Self-container
(open at your own peril)
As you can tell, my defining feature is an egregious abuse of parentheses; but then again, isn't life really just a string of paranthetical remarks remarking on each other? The tools become the purposes, and the purposes become the tools. Sometimes however, the tools becomes weapons, and the purposes become nightmares. One of my biggest challenges is finding peace in constant change; on the other hand, how could I ever be peaceful if nothing changed?
So, who am I? Today, I'm yesterday yapping about tomorrow. In this river, I yearn for solid ground; I mean, even Sisyphus has a hill to depend on. So, clearly there's a place to stand somewhere, however small; and as such, my current primary goal is finding it. Therefore, I am working on building a philosophical system, intended to create a basis of refinable and increasingly certain facts about reality. In these efforts, I employ absolute skepticism, which poses many challenges, but also forces me to see ever more fundamental truths.
In my philosophy, I am drawn towards metaphysical idealism, panpsychism, Oneness, nonduality, logic, self-reference and will. I suspect will may be the fundamental substance of everything, though perhaps mind is instead; perhaps they are one and the same. I wonder if the underlying will of reality is also love, God and positivity, where positivity is conflated as both goodness and also as presence & being, as opposed to absence and non-being. Maybe pure being and pure nothing are the same, for is not a blank canvas and a fully painted canvas equally devoid of detail? The dance of opposities; their co-dependency; Yin and Yang; this is a topic on my mind as of late. I love both Western and Eastern philosophy. I love science and mathematics.
I use psychedelics to explore philosophy. But I also use them for personal exploration and development. They are two sides of the same coin for me, but the former is the cognitive side, and the latter the emotional side. I have been on a spiritual journey that has increased my awareness of the love inherent to reality; I find myself more compassionate, empathic and loving of everyone and everything. I am still blind most of the time, but the love is starting to shine through the cracks more and more. To be, or not to be? The question is rhetorical; by merely reading the question we have answered it. Tapping into this awareness has given a new breath to my life.
I wish to explore and develop all these thoughts, attitudes and awarenesses during, and after integration of, freebase DMT and Ayahuasca trips. Now, where am I as far as experience is concerned? Well, I have yet to try these powerful drugs, though I have had two intense (for me) trips on changa. The level of change was to the degree of seeing my uncle as a cartoon character, feeling my entire being shaken to its core, being too dumbfounded to speak, experiencing my pockets as possessing impossible, endless geometry, and nearly being engulfed by the visual distortion of the environment. So, I did not enter the waiting room, and I most definitely didn't break through. I don't say this with disappointment (I don't think I was ready back then); I simply want to inform you guys about my inexperience. On my changa trip, I did not dare to close my eyes. In light of this, I have thus not experienced a full immersion in a fully hallucinatory environment; this immersion is something I am yearning for. When on heroic doses of LSD, I have had 3D visuals, and although they had some depth to them, I did not quite feel I was inside the space they implied. In addition, my close-eyed visuals on LSD and shrooms have been somewhat low-resolution, and my mind states on higher doses have been dreamy and amnesiac. My open-eyed visuals on LSD have been quite vivid however. In short, I wish to graduate to DMT and Ayahuasca.
This wish has brought me here. What I found was that this nexus offers what appears to be a great community as well, so I think the tool wound up becoming the purpose
I am rambling (or rather, unraveling), but no honest introduction of me could be otherwise.
Peace,
Self-container
(open at your own peril)
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I think that profoundly simple is the kind of writing only achieved by the writers simultaneously possessing knowledge, intelligence, humility and well-meaning intentions, so I'm looking forward to reading it
