Doctor Robert
Rising Star
Hi everybody. I want to share my experience and get some advice on how to proceed forward.
Last week i tried pure nn-dmt for the first time. Prior to that i only had a couple of mild experiences with changa but no breakthrough. I used a small water pipe and i made a huge mistake: i didn't properly weight my dose. I confused what a milligram was, and i thought i was loading around 30mg (that was my intention) but looking at the picture i took, i think that was definitely more than 60mg, probably 70 or 80 even.
The other mistake was that i was alone and in a park, with nobody around me. I took a long big hit and within a couple of second my vision fragmented and i was gone. Gone gone, in an endless black void. No sense of self. No thoughts, no feelings. Simply endless void. I don't know how long i've been in that state, but at some point i kind of become slightly aware of being in an endless black void. I still had no form, no thoughts, i didn't know who i was, where i was, why i was there. But that tiny bit of awareness made me 100% sure i was dead. There was not an inch of doubt, that was death. At that point i panicked, and the trip turned to hell. I felt stuck in this kind of white membrane that was infinite and all one at the same time. I was stuck in a loop where i tried to remember where i was, how long i've been there, and then panicked and sort of like dying again to just re enter the same loop.
This went on for a while, until slowly my consciousness and my memories started to get back. The process was like being absolutely nothing, then gaining a little bit of awareness, and then slowly getting more and more conscious, like i was re-assemblying my soul bit by bit. I finally reached a point where i could remember i smoked dmt and that i should just let the effects pass. I could only remember my girlfriend and i was crying for her to come help me, but she was at work. I was in terrible agony and simply terrified, i felt like i was grasping for air and breathing heavily. My body was fighting off with all his power to get me out of that place, out of that completely alien dimension i was. I got more and more into myself until i felt like my soul passed through something and after that i was able to open my eyes again and i was back on planet earth. I was in a state of shock and terror. My vision was still obscured by dmt visual but i could distinguish the environment around me.
For the next few minutes i only managed to take some big breaths and calm down and ground myself back to this planet. When i looked around i noticed i was 5 meters away from where i originally started. My pipe was tilted on the ground as i didn't even have time to put it down before blasting off. I had a scratch in my head and i was covedered in dust. My fingernails were full of dirt because my hand desperately tried to hang on and grab the soil.
To this moment i have no idea what my body did in those 15 minutes. I understood i rolled on the ground for meters, dig the soil, probably screamed, but i have no idea or any way to recall what my body did, because my awareness and my soul were in a completely different dimension. I never felt so grateful and happy to be alive. It felt like i died and my soul went to through hell and now i was just back. I couldn't believe i was actually not dead forever. I got up and hugged a huge tree in front of me and slowly calmed down and went back to normal. Judging on the time stamp of the pictures i took before and after the experience, it lasted probably around 20 minutes.
For the few days after i didn't understood i actually overdosed that much, i thought that was just an experience that could happen. Than reading about other overdose stories i understood the biblical mistake i made. Even though i know it's basically impossible to physically die from dmt, i am so, so grateful to still be alive. I believe what i experienced is the closest you can ever get to death, and the experience itself was way more similar to other 5meo-dmt reports i read compared to normal dmt. I share this story first to tell people to not be as stupid as me and always properly weight the dose. Second i want to ask advice on what i should do now.
After 5 days from that experience i tried to smoke a bit of changa with just a tiny bit of dmt, to see how it felt. I had strong open eyes visual but no breakthrough. However, the fear of that void and the previous experience was still too strong in me. I didn't felt comfortable at all. I couldn't even enjoy the visual. I felt a clear presence of something, an entity or spirit, even though i couldn't see it. The problem is that i couldn't tell if this entity was benevolent or if it was angry at me. I was just too scared.
The effects wore off quickly and i was happy to simply be back to normal. Now i feel like i should probably take a long break from dmt. However there is a part of me that is still very curious, to explore the infinite geometrical worlds of dmt. I read so many stories about it, entities, alien worlds, colorful mandala tunnels etc... i didn't have any of that. I experienced only the black void, and i would like to see more. However i'm terrified of breaking through again because i might have pissed off the entities with my overdose. Even though it was a naive mistake, i'm scared that if i breakthrough again i end up facing entities that wants to harm me or simply i'm scared to end up in this terrifying dimension again. So i just want to ask, does anybody had similar experiences? Did some of you overdose and then slowly got back into it or should i simply forget about dmt and go on with my life for a while?
Last week i tried pure nn-dmt for the first time. Prior to that i only had a couple of mild experiences with changa but no breakthrough. I used a small water pipe and i made a huge mistake: i didn't properly weight my dose. I confused what a milligram was, and i thought i was loading around 30mg (that was my intention) but looking at the picture i took, i think that was definitely more than 60mg, probably 70 or 80 even.
The other mistake was that i was alone and in a park, with nobody around me. I took a long big hit and within a couple of second my vision fragmented and i was gone. Gone gone, in an endless black void. No sense of self. No thoughts, no feelings. Simply endless void. I don't know how long i've been in that state, but at some point i kind of become slightly aware of being in an endless black void. I still had no form, no thoughts, i didn't know who i was, where i was, why i was there. But that tiny bit of awareness made me 100% sure i was dead. There was not an inch of doubt, that was death. At that point i panicked, and the trip turned to hell. I felt stuck in this kind of white membrane that was infinite and all one at the same time. I was stuck in a loop where i tried to remember where i was, how long i've been there, and then panicked and sort of like dying again to just re enter the same loop.
This went on for a while, until slowly my consciousness and my memories started to get back. The process was like being absolutely nothing, then gaining a little bit of awareness, and then slowly getting more and more conscious, like i was re-assemblying my soul bit by bit. I finally reached a point where i could remember i smoked dmt and that i should just let the effects pass. I could only remember my girlfriend and i was crying for her to come help me, but she was at work. I was in terrible agony and simply terrified, i felt like i was grasping for air and breathing heavily. My body was fighting off with all his power to get me out of that place, out of that completely alien dimension i was. I got more and more into myself until i felt like my soul passed through something and after that i was able to open my eyes again and i was back on planet earth. I was in a state of shock and terror. My vision was still obscured by dmt visual but i could distinguish the environment around me.
For the next few minutes i only managed to take some big breaths and calm down and ground myself back to this planet. When i looked around i noticed i was 5 meters away from where i originally started. My pipe was tilted on the ground as i didn't even have time to put it down before blasting off. I had a scratch in my head and i was covedered in dust. My fingernails were full of dirt because my hand desperately tried to hang on and grab the soil.
To this moment i have no idea what my body did in those 15 minutes. I understood i rolled on the ground for meters, dig the soil, probably screamed, but i have no idea or any way to recall what my body did, because my awareness and my soul were in a completely different dimension. I never felt so grateful and happy to be alive. It felt like i died and my soul went to through hell and now i was just back. I couldn't believe i was actually not dead forever. I got up and hugged a huge tree in front of me and slowly calmed down and went back to normal. Judging on the time stamp of the pictures i took before and after the experience, it lasted probably around 20 minutes.
For the few days after i didn't understood i actually overdosed that much, i thought that was just an experience that could happen. Than reading about other overdose stories i understood the biblical mistake i made. Even though i know it's basically impossible to physically die from dmt, i am so, so grateful to still be alive. I believe what i experienced is the closest you can ever get to death, and the experience itself was way more similar to other 5meo-dmt reports i read compared to normal dmt. I share this story first to tell people to not be as stupid as me and always properly weight the dose. Second i want to ask advice on what i should do now.
After 5 days from that experience i tried to smoke a bit of changa with just a tiny bit of dmt, to see how it felt. I had strong open eyes visual but no breakthrough. However, the fear of that void and the previous experience was still too strong in me. I didn't felt comfortable at all. I couldn't even enjoy the visual. I felt a clear presence of something, an entity or spirit, even though i couldn't see it. The problem is that i couldn't tell if this entity was benevolent or if it was angry at me. I was just too scared.
The effects wore off quickly and i was happy to simply be back to normal. Now i feel like i should probably take a long break from dmt. However there is a part of me that is still very curious, to explore the infinite geometrical worlds of dmt. I read so many stories about it, entities, alien worlds, colorful mandala tunnels etc... i didn't have any of that. I experienced only the black void, and i would like to see more. However i'm terrified of breaking through again because i might have pissed off the entities with my overdose. Even though it was a naive mistake, i'm scared that if i breakthrough again i end up facing entities that wants to harm me or simply i'm scared to end up in this terrifying dimension again. So i just want to ask, does anybody had similar experiences? Did some of you overdose and then slowly got back into it or should i simply forget about dmt and go on with my life for a while?
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