Breakthrough experience

[SazzleToe]

It’s taken me a long time to even put this out there, but I’d genuinely appreciate any feedback from people who may have had similar breakthrough experiences with DMT — or maybe struggled to have the kinds of experiences other people describe.

For context: I use an e-mesh setup, and I absolutely believe it’s capable of delivering breakthrough-level doses. The issue is that whenever I take a strong hit, the overwhelming feeling isn’t wonder, love, entities, or cosmic connection. It’s this immediate certainty that I’ve died — and with that comes intense regret and panic over the pain it would cause my family, especially my mother.

The experiences I’ve had around death haven’t been comforting at all. If anything, they’ve felt cold, detached, and deeply unsettling. I don’t come away feeling reassured about consciousness continuing after death or about some greater loving reality. Quite the opposite, honestly.

One thing that’s especially strange: multiple times — both at home and once while out (which I know wasn’t smart) — I’ve felt like I shifted into an entirely different universe. One time I came out of a trip believing I was back home, but suddenly my arms were brown (I’m white), my fingers looked absurdly long, and my apartment looked like it existed a thousand years in the future. The toilets, furniture, everything looked completely alien. Then it slowly faded back into normal reality.

The only other major experience I can point to was one time I took an enormous hit, immediately doubled down with a second hit, and blacked out entirely. I barely managed to set the device down before losing all awareness. When I came back, there were geometric structures lingering in my vision, but I have zero memory of whatever actually happened during the experience itself.

So I guess what I’m asking is:
Has anyone else had experiences like this? Am I doing something wrong — or maybe misunderstanding what these experiences are supposed to be?

Because honestly, while I do find value in them and wouldn’t undo them, I can’t say they’re enjoyable. They’re fucking terrifying a lot of the time.

I hear so many people describe profound love, peace, entities, ego death, or reassurance about what comes after life. I haven’t really had that. What I’ve experienced instead feels stark, emotionally cold, and deeply unsettling.

I know DMT isn’t necessarily “showing us the afterlife,” but whatever it’s showing me has left me with more existential fear than comfort.

Would genuinely appreciate any thoughtful input from people who’ve experienced something similar.

 

[universecannon]

Sounds very normal to me. Letting go/being forced out of the driver seat looks like death at first to the ego, and can take practice to relax more. Fear and resistance warps the entire experience into greater distortion. People also seem to have certain expectations of what we are accessing and then are surprised when the experience doesn't align with whatever that paradigm is, which is understandable but not usually very helpful.

You might find it helps to engage with the state via sound, movement, or any mumber of techniques instead of sitting down and blasting the brain with large doses it can't often make much use of. The latter is a completely modern decontextualized approach in my opinion

 

[brettsta]

Hello , like universecannon said it's very normal what your experiencing . Occasionally I also experience chaos, regret and panic , a speghettifying of the mind I joke about .
Also the black place you mentioned ! Is a place many of us have had the misfortune of landing in.

I was just discussing with another member that the emash is a one hit breakthrough machine,
That can be in my experience like being fired out of a canon .
There are other vapes that slow it down and give a more gradually entery in.

Dmt is not for everyone, it takes a extremely strong mind to handle it at times ! .

But if you decide to continue your quest , my advice is try other smoking techniques ,
different vapes / doses, setting . And remember when it gets scary and you start panicking,
focus on your breathing
All the best

 

[Jennyfromtherock]

It’s taken me a long time to even put this out there, but I’d genuinely appreciate any feedback from people who may have had similar breakthrough experiences with DMT — or maybe struggled to have the kinds of experiences other people describe.

For context: I use an e-mesh setup, and I absolutely believe it’s capable of delivering breakthrough-level doses. The issue is that whenever I take a strong hit, the overwhelming feeling isn’t wonder, love, entities, or cosmic connection. It’s this immediate certainty that I’ve died — and with that comes intense regret and panic over the pain it would cause my family, especially my mother.

The experiences I’ve had around death haven’t been comforting at all. If anything, they’ve felt cold, detached, and deeply unsettling. I don’t come away feeling reassured about consciousness continuing after death or about some greater loving reality. Quite the opposite, honestly.

One thing that’s especially strange: multiple times — both at home and once while out (which I know wasn’t smart) — I’ve felt like I shifted into an entirely different universe. One time I came out of a trip believing I was back home, but suddenly my arms were brown (I’m white), my fingers looked absurdly long, and my apartment looked like it existed a thousand years in the future. The toilets, furniture, everything looked completely alien. Then it slowly faded back into normal reality.

The only other major experience I can point to was one time I took an enormous hit, immediately doubled down with a second hit, and blacked out entirely. I barely managed to set the device down before losing all awareness. When I came back, there were geometric structures lingering in my vision, but I have zero memory of whatever actually happened during the experience itself.

So I guess what I’m asking is:
Has anyone else had experiences like this? Am I doing something wrong — or maybe misunderstanding what these experiences are supposed to be?

Because honestly, while I do find value in them and wouldn’t undo them, I can’t say they’re enjoyable. They’re fucking terrifying a lot of the time.

I hear so many people describe profound love, peace, entities, ego death, or reassurance about what comes after life. I haven’t really had that. What I’ve experienced instead feels stark, emotionally cold, and deeply unsettling.

I know DMT isn’t necessarily “showing us the afterlife,” but whatever it’s showing me has left me with more existential fear than comfort.

Would genuinely appreciate any thoughtful input from people who’ve experienced something similar.

Try doing it outside in nature