i had a dream last night that affected me a lot. right now i was reading your book, when you mentioned a peacock. it reminded me of my dream:
coming around the corner of the cliff
ocean waves larger than ever
walking the rocks near the top of the cliff
we try to get to the other side..to land
the rocks once walkable, too small, start to crumble.
the wall now unstable we fall to the sand
in a cliffed cove,we must reach the top or
the tsunami like waves will eat us,
smash us against the jagged cliff wall.
5 or 6 of us sit in a circle as close to the cliff as possible.
we sit cross legged and link hands with effort to transcend one person at a time out of this storm.
we successfully release one.. then two.
i am given kavaladas in between transcendence to calm myself of this Violent storm.
it helps a little, gives strength to continue.
my turn is coming up. im so eager to escape.
at this time, they explain to me there is a pattern, and i am doing it all wrong.
in order to transcend, there is a special pattern created when holding hands in this circle.
a pattern of linked fingers.
held by pinky, ring, middle, etc. and changes each time, for each person.
i didnt realize until now, and it was hard to grasp this pattern...
however, when done correctly, felt so much better.
all the while i remember mom telling me casually that her peacock died a week go.
i envisioned a beautiful small peacock, colorful and elegant.
and then a pattern came across my eyes.
a single, what would be considered skinny, peacock feather,
multiplied and in a line.
a pattern, much like the thin layer of patterns in front of your eyes on LSD
for instance the pattern of eyes and how perfectly they fit together
but this time, peacock feathers....neato. it plays into the pattern of the hands.
i understood a little better.
however, time was running out, strength was lessening, and the storm strengthening.
crash of salty waves. crash again harder.
scared of being pulled away and smashed into the walls (inevitably?)
wake up.