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Am I Evil?

Migrated topic.

Psilosopher?

Don't Panic
Senior Member
OG Pioneer
BIOASSAY:

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Calm
(physical condition) Set: Healthy
Setting (location): In my own bed.
time of day: 2300-2400, 0000-0100, a dark room
recent drug use: None
last meal: Rice with mixed vegetables and lentils.

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
body weight: 68
known sensitivities: None.
history of use: Experienced

BIOASSAY

Substance(s): DMT crystals
Dose(s): 50mg, 50mg
Method of administration: Sandwich method in a bong, calea leaf was used.


EFFECTS

Administration time: T=0:30
Duration: 1/2 hour, 1/2 hour
First effects: My physical body was letting go of my spirit.
Peak: T=0:15-0:25, T=0:15-0:25
Come down: T=0:30, T=0:30
Baseline: T=0:30, T=0:30

Intensity (overall): 4, 3
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4, 4
Implesantness: 0, 0
Visual Intensity: 4, 3
.
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS

Hangover: 0, 0
Afterglow: 4, 4

The Shapeshifter

So, this was my first time smoking DMT in my own bed at night. I had my music prepared, and I turned my phone light on so I could see. As soon as I put the bong down, I had already transformed. I didn't even put my music on or turn the light off. I was traversing through hyperspace in silence. I can't really remember much of what happened, except I transformed into a reptilian Hindu demon.

I looked exactly like this, but with green scaly skin.

8b41931fd79ddf7540a720e1db1c247d.jpg


I knew what I was. I was a shapeshifter. I could turn into anything. But I only did this once, I turned into a panther. This was shortlived however, and I once again took the form of the demon. My tongue was going absolutely wild. I could feel my tongue on my chin, which is way past my normal limit.

Then, without me knowing, I changed form again. I became a psychedelic green-skinned guru who looked like Rabindranath Tagore. My tongue was insanely long, like a serpent.

18cea75ed5dea516e2a3059539524dae.jpg



At some point, I thought to myself "Why isn't the music playing?". "Oh, I didn't even put my headphones on. And I didn't turn the light off. Silly me." But by the time I put my headphones on, I was already coming down. When I came back to earth, my beard was drenched in saliva.


The Malevolent Spirit

The next night, I did exactly the same thing, except I had my headphones on while I smoked. I was listening to this (which was what I would've listened to the night before).

[youtube]

I skipped the first song, since it's a way too Jimi Hendrix-esque psychedelic song for a DMT trip.

This trip was rather bizarre. I don't remember any visuals. I remember looking at the silhouette of my hands and thinking "Dayum, human hands have way too many fingers". So I clenched my fist, and opened them. I had 7 fingers. I did it again, and then had 4 fingers. Every time I did it, I would always have a different number of fingers. It was really strange.

After I was done looking at my hands, I felt a spirit escaping from my mouth. It was black and evil. Once it escaped my body, it enveloped me, cloaking me in it's abyssal darkness. I became the malevolent spirit.

I looked exactly like this.

kyuubi_smile_by_premierarchange.jpg


Hyperspace was dark and empty. I was traversing this infinite plain, searching for the light. I remember observing indistinct entities and avoiding them. I was merely an observer. I didn't feel evil, but I sure looked like I was. The entities knew I was there, and they too avoided me. I didn't know why. Maybe they thought I looked evil as well.

That was basically the whole trip. Just a malevolent spirit floating through the abyss.
 
Perhaps it has more to do with your potential to do evil things than any intrinsic "evil" that is in there.
Great trip report either way, I really enjoy how high resolution your recall is :)
 
Sphorange said:
Perhaps it has more to do with your potential to do evil things than any intrinsic "evil" that is in there.
Great trip report either way, I really enjoy how high resolution your recall is :)

Thanks for the kind words. I feel like I achieved purity through impurity, holiness through unholiness. Kind of like an Aghori sadhu.

These two trips are the lowest resolution of all my trips. All I can remember is one or two images. My other trips were much more vivid, and had more meaning. I said I smoked 50mg, but it was eyeballed. Could've been less.
 
Glossolalia said:
I've met Kali too. She's not evil, she's just dark energy.

The thing is, I don't really meet entities. I become them. And I didn't feel her dark energy pervading my being. It was just encapsulating me. A very strange experience, but still a positive one.

I haven't felt any negative emotions in 5 years. I've let go of them as a part of my spiritual liberation. Maybe if I still held on to that negativity, Kali could have consumed me. I sure am glad I released those tethers.
 
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