And... It's Break Time

[Voidmatrix]

DMT got me through my usual struggles of the Spring and Summer.

And now it's time for a break.

The plan is to go 30 days without DMT, which isn't a problem. Typically a break entails time away from all psychedelics, but in an effort to lighten up and be less rigid, I'm still going to eat mushrooms. I've been on a roll with them lately (about once a week) and would like to keep that momentum and growth. Plus, I have so many to try out! During my next break I'll abstain from all psychedelics. Planning on staying on my microdose regimen as well.

I think it's healthy to take breaks from the space. While I don't "breakthrough" often (or even get anything visual often for that matter) in a lot of my journeys, I still probably did it more than 50 times during a 6 month period. It'll give me time to bear witness to my own growth and increased resilience and stability as a result of my psychedelic work. It also allows me time to reflect on my practice and approach. One thing that I will be thinking about a lot during this hiatus is my difficulty in going as deep as I'd like, and how to reframe my thinking to reverse the habit of depriving myself, pushing through this mysterious trepidation, etc.

I just had my last journey. I didn't go anywhere, just allowed myself to be enveloped in the somatic side of the experience and reap the therapeutic benefits of the headspace I was able to enter as a result. It was nice. But when I return, I will be going deeper more often

One love

 

[Th3k1d93]

I'm with you man! After finally breaking through the barrier i've been facing recently earlier this week, i've decided myself it's time for a dry out period from everything, cannabis even. I try at least once a year to give myself 30-45 days of intermittent fasting, abstaining from all mood altering things, serious exercise, and spiritual isolation spent in meditation and diving books.

We can be acountabillabuddies if you want for the next month :lol:

 

[Voidmatrix]

I'm with you man! After finally breaking through the barrier i've been facing recently earlier this week, i've decided myself it's time for a dry out period from everything, cannabis even. I try at least once a year to give myself 30-45 days of intermittent fasting, abstaining from all mood altering things, serious exercise, and spiritual isolation spent in meditation and diving books.

We can be acountabillabuddies if you want for the next month :lol:

I haven't taken a break from cannabis in year. I definitely cut back on my use a whole lot a few years ago, however. Where I'm at now with it is very pleasant. I generally don't smoke until after 1800, with exceptions from time to time. Otherwise, I try to take 30 day breaks from all other substances (let's be real, mainly psychedelics, I don't drink or do other "drugs").

I forgot before to consider harmalas, which I will still use since I'm already making the mushroom exception. Harmalas with cannabis are so amazing during meditation.

And yes! Yes Butters, let's be accountabilabuddies!

One love

 

[ommani]

Right on for making it through the preceding months. Summer tends to be challenging for me, as well, and I'm glad we're finally moving into the fall. I'm in a somewhat different situation in that I haven't tripped in almost two years, and haven't microdosed with regularity in over a year. I do consume cannabis in small amounts on a daily basis, but despite its psychedelic qualities, it can't replace the other medicines for me, though it can certainly complement them.

It has been interesting to grow and move forward in life, while simultaneously feeling like I have regressed in some ways from lack of psychedelic use. On the bright side, abstaining from psychedelics has seemed to bring a lot of my underlying issues into clearer focus, so at least now I have a better idea of what I'm working on/towards. I'm hoping to find the time in the coming months to get back in the psychedelic swing of things, particularly with mushrooms, cactus, Ayahuasca, and DMT.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Right on for making it through the preceding months. Summer tends to be challenging for me, as well, and I'm glad we're finally moving into the fall. I'm in a somewhat different situation in that I haven't tripped in almost two years, and haven't microdosed with regularity in over a year. I do consume cannabis in small amounts on a daily basis, but despite its psychedelic qualities, it can't replace the other medicines for me, though it can certainly complement them.

It has been interesting to grow and move forward in life, while simultaneously feeling like I have regressed in some ways from lack of psychedelic use. On the bright side, abstaining from psychedelics has seemed to bring a lot of my underlying issues into clearer focus, so at least now I have a better idea of what I'm working on/towards. I'm hoping to find the time in the coming months to get back in the psychedelic swing of things, particularly with mushrooms, cactus, Ayahuasca, and DMT.

Thank you! And same to you my friend. Learned to allow myself more freedom this time around. A big takeaway, but a hard task.

And yes! Cannabis always goes hand-in-hand with some many other entheogens for me. There was an acid trip I had years ago in which I did not like weed during the trip. It was so uncharacteristic at that time that it kind of put me off LSD a little bit. I've since gotten over that, but my relationship will probably be forever weird.

Shining example of how the work is both in and outside the "space." Having struggled with finding direction for a long time, I can attest to it being such a helpful aspect to have as we journey forward through time and our lives.

Have any specific plans in particular for each of those medicines? Are there some trip reports that I can look forward to? Don't be a tease jk :lol:

One love

 

[LST]

Void.

I do a few food and water fasts a year... I truly believe that taking a break from DMT or coffee or food help us realize and see different perspectives of whole. We are all here to help each other in our journeys... IMHO. I am grateful for all your help in my Journey.

Be well my friend.

P.S.

You might enjoy this.... I thought of one love when I watched it.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Void.

I do a few food and water fasts a year... I truly believe that taking a break from DMT or coffee or food help us realize and see different perspectives of whole. We are all here to help each other in our journeys... IMHO. I am grateful for all your help in my Journey.

Be well my friend.

P.S.

You might enjoy this.... I thought of one love when I watched it.

I really need to get back to a fasting routine. Even one day here and there with lots of meditation is beneficial.

And yes we are in this together, and I too am thankful for you and this community!

And thank you for the link. I will check it out later today

One love

 

[MAGMA17]

Is there a reason why you chose exactly 30 days? And not more or less?

 

[Voidmatrix]

Is there a reason why you chose exactly 30 days? And not more or less?

Because it's sexy! jk :lol

Considering most psychedelics lack traces in the body after a few days to a couple weeks, the period of time is a bit arbitrary. It's mainly because we already have the monthly distinction that breaks the year up and so is an easy schema to adopt. Your asking is making me consider adding a layer of symbolism through number to figure out the period of time for my next hiatus.

One love

 

[MAGMA17]

Because it's sexy! jk :lol

In fact yes, it is quite sexy as a number I must admit :lol:

Considering most psychedelics lack traces in the body after a few days to a couple weeks, the period of time is a bit arbitrary. It's mainly because we already have the monthly distinction that breaks the year up and so is an easy schema to adopt. Your asking is making me consider adding a layer of symbolism through number to figure out the period of time for my next hiatus.

One love

I guessed well then

 

[murklan]

I forgot before to consider harmalas, which I will still use since I'm already making the mushroom exception. Harmalas with cannabis are so amazing during meditation.
One love

Hey! I got curious on how you use harmalas with cannabis? Smoking together, as tea before, vaping, extracts?

I like the combo too, but have only put some of the 'skin' from lightly toasted rue seeds together with flowers in my vape (dynavap). Makes a difference. Makes the high clearer in same aspects, and make me feel the high coming in big waves. Have not tried meditating.

 

[Th3k1d93]

Hey! I got curious on how you use harmalas with cannabis? Smoking together, as tea before, vaping, extracts?

I like the combo too, but have only put some of the 'skin' from lightly toasted rue seeds together with flowers in my vape (dynavap). Makes a difference. Makes the high clearer in same aspects, and make me feel the high coming in big waves. Have not tried meditating.

I personally love a stiff harmala tea with oral THC, but i don't smoke much anymore to be honest. In grad school, I worked for an extraction facility and smoked so much oil over a two-year period that I ruined my lungs it seems. I get asthma like reactions trying to smoke cannabis or tobacco these days.

But the combination of oral dosing for meditation is VERY effective and pleasant.

Personally, my sweet spot is 3.5 grams of rue, 200mg THC, 50mg CBC, and if evening 25mg of CBN.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Hey! I got curious on how you use harmalas with cannabis? Smoking together, as tea before, vaping, extracts?

I like the combo too, but have only put some of the 'skin' from lightly toasted rue seeds together with flowers in my vape (dynavap). Makes a difference. Makes the high clearer in same aspects, and make me feel the high coming in big waves. Have not tried meditating.

I personally love a stiff harmala tea with oral THC, but i don't smoke much anymore to be honest. In grad school, I worked for an extraction facility and smoked so much oil over a two-year period that I ruined my lungs it seems. I get asthma like reactions trying to smoke cannabis or tobacco these days.

But the combination of oral dosing for meditation is VERY effective and pleasant.

Personally, my sweet spot is 3.5 grams of rue, 200mg THC, 50mg CBC, and if evening 25mg of CBN.

I have yet to have this experience outside of a meditative space. I guess I haven't been that interested in doing much else when enjoying this amalgam or its analogues.

Presently, my preference is to sandwich my harmala dose (current sweet spot is around 40mg) between two layers of cannabis in a small bong. I also enjoy some rue tea (for this endeavor, between 4g and 5g) coupled with a cannabis joint. The entrance into deep meditative states that are slightly psychedelic is easy and graceful. I have had some high intensity experiences with harmalas where I just needed to hang on.

My next experiment will be to meditate while "imbibing" whether it's smoking or as a tea and joint, and then lay on my newly acquired Shakti mat

One love

 

[murklan]

Presently, my preference is to sandwich my harmala dose (current sweet spot is around 40mg) between two layers of cannabis in a small bong. I also enjoy some rue tea (for this endeavor, between 4g and 5g) coupled with a cannabis joint. The entrance into deep meditative states that are slightly psychedelic is easy and graceful. I have had some high intensity experiences with harmalas where I just needed to hang on.

Good to know! I've never smoked extracted harmalas, mostly because I usually extract them into salt not freebase, and that I vape and rarely smoke. I'll try tea before cannabis soon.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Well, break is over! It has been for three days! Yet I have not re-entered the space...

Here's why.

During these breaks from DMT I tend to only look forward to doing it again, but experience no difficulty in maintaining my goal in my period abstinence. And there were definitely times in which it would've been very helpful to just take one hit of changa, but I was able to manage regardless, even if my mood was dour and low. I get to experience the resilience gained through previous use.

There's a lot to notice in these breaks and a great deal of reflection. As much as I love the psychedelic space, what goes on in these breaks is also very beautiful to me. I ended up barely doing any mushrooms.

I've mentioned before an "entity" that is generally disembodied, that I feel I first interacted with in hyperspace, that communicates with me inside and outside the space. During this hiatus, the voice was gone for the most part until about half-way through the month. It cropped back up in a period when I was thinking about DMT, telling me to take my time getting back, "they" (both singular and plural) are waiting, and that it had not contacted me in order to "give me space." [Note: As I've stated before, I reserve judgment about this other perceived mind, acquiescing to the ideas that it could be in my head or external to me in equal weight.]

Something that I was able to extract from my time reflecting during the break and that I am still exploring and digesting, and that DMT has been trying to show me but I wasn't getting the message, is that I experience an aversion to good/happiness, subconsciously. It is directly connected to not going as deep as I'd like to go, and is something that is reflected in my life, psychedelics aside, like not getting out much... There's an automatic (and irrational) reaction in my mind that is framed as a worry, about bad things happening as a result of good, whether that be things I want to do, give myself, tell myself, etc. It's like there's a fear that "good" things are "bad" things in disguise.

I can also trace this response as far back as high school and have so far isolated a few sources of impact (such as my father). In some ways since this began, it's expanded and gotten worse, leading to the dreaded instance I'm in in not doing psychedelics in ways that I used to allow myself (such as in my early 20s, eating 7g of mushrooms, sitting alone in my dark room with music). It's a reason why making some things I'm passionate about a priority is difficult.

I feel extremely trapped, but at least having this understanding helps me to have more acceptance for where I am to more effectively and productive move forward when the time is right. So when I do go back in, I'm just going to feel into the moment and the flow of the situation, and go as far as the instance tries to take me.

I've also decided that in the next 6 months I'd actually like to try to attend an Ayahuasca ceremony and also enter the DMTx program (extended state DMT).

It was a productive break. Thank you for reading.

One love

 

[Fridge]

Welcome back, Void !

I am glad to read that you had a productive break. I myself took a little break and it's good to get some distance from time to time from the psychedelic experience, at least in my experience.

Something that I was able to extract from my time reflecting during the break and that I am still exploring and digesting, and that DMT has been trying to show me but I wasn't getting the message, is that I experience an aversion to good/happiness, subconsciously. It is directly connected to not going as deep as I'd like to go, and is something that is reflected in my life, psychedelics aside, like not getting out much... There's an automatic (and irrational) reaction in my mind that is framed as a worry, about bad things happening as a result of good, whether that be things I want to do, give myself, tell myself, etc. It's like there's a fear that "good" things are "bad" things in disguise.

This stood out for me and I hope it's ok if I ask a question about it as it occupied my mind, since I read it.
Is it possible that you experience this aversion against good/happiness because you fear you might get disappointed that whatever causes this happiness is eventually going to be taken away from you? Has there ever been an incident in your early life that could cause this feeling?

 

[Voidmatrix]

This stood out for me and I hope it's ok if I ask a question about it as it occupied my mind, since I read it.
Is it possible that you experience this aversion against good/happiness because you fear you might get disappointed that whatever causes this happiness is eventually going to be taken away from you? Has there ever been an incident in your early life that could cause this feeling?

Questions and dialogue are always welcome

To answer your question simply, yes, however, I'm noticing that this is a very varied phenomenon, that appears to have many interwoven variables and reasons.

With regard to the disappointment aspect, it comes two-fold: disappointment that the thing that is good or leads to happiness won't for some reason or another, whether the reason be my state or the experience of said thing. Second, that whatever will be taken away or at some point will be over (nothing lasts forever) and I won't be able to hold onto or remember and feel the good that I experienced from it. And there are actually several incidents that I feel have influenced this from my childhood and adolescence.

One love

 

[Voidmatrix]

A little irony: I still have yet to reenter hyperspace. This time it's not due to needing more reflection nor is it apprehension. No no. It's bronchitis and walking pneumonia:lol:

One love

 

[brokedownpalace10]

I haven't taken a break from cannabis in year. I definitely cut back on my use a whole lot a few years ago, however. Where I'm at now with it is very pleasant. I generally don't smoke until after 1800, with exceptions from time to time.

At one time in my life, my rule for pot was to not smoke it till after the sun went down.

Had more sober time in a day, which is good as you know. But, it also had me smoke less of the day in the summer when there were other things I could be doing and smoking more in the winter which is boring anyway.

 

[Voidmatrix]

I haven't taken a break from cannabis in year. I definitely cut back on my use a whole lot a few years ago, however. Where I'm at now with it is very pleasant. I generally don't smoke until after 1800, with exceptions from time to time.

At one time in my life, my rule for pot was to not smoke it till after the sun went down.

Had more sober time in a day, which is good as you know. But, it also had me smoke less of the day in the summer when there were other things I could be doing and smoking more in the winter which is boring anyway.

I like that approach a lot. Though I will say that I love winter :lol:



I finally was feeling good enough after being sick to make it back into the space today.

Had to mentally work myself up to it, but noticed that as I was preparing for my journey that I felt less pressure and anxiety, which was new and nice. Was sure to grab my labradorite alien head that I like to have in attendance anytime I do DMT. Less felt anxiety in taking my hits as well.

Was more visual (though still subtle) which was a little unexpected, but totally welcome. I was more interested in the headspace and somatic experience with my intent this time.

Was glad to have been a few hours fasted (I smoalked shortly after taking a nap) because I had some very bitter purging to do. While I don't think anyone likes to vomit, I've learned to embrace the purge. The more bitter it is, the more healing that is done and the more negativity that is leaving my system. While uncomfortable, it felt good.

It was good and I need to keep that in mind.

It gave me some thinking to do, and has left me looking forward to the next one. I need to just go for it... stop being so worried and so concerned about so much so often.

Mental state feels closer to balanced as well (the gym also helped this).

It's good to take breaks. And it's good to be back.



One love