Burnt needs some advice:
How do people here deal with persistent anger that has no obvious source?
How do people here deal with persistent anger that has no obvious source?
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MalargueZiggy
Rising Star
Hey dude,
It depends how it manifests itself. I presume that, although it doesn't have a source, it still has a focus and an outlet?
In general though, the way I would deal with that is by acknowledging:
- I can't change the past so there's no point being angry about anything that's happened
- I can change the future so I can take logical steps to get around whatever is annoying me
- If something's out of my control then I can do nothing and so shouldn't be angry at all or worry
- There's no point worrying/being angry about things that haven't happened yet
I would also try and practise the art of letting things go. As soon as something's happened and the immediate flash of annoyance is over there's no point any more because it won't change it. Steel yourself enough you can get to the point where you literally don't care about anything.
(I'd also meditate and take up yoga. I cannot push yoga strongly enough to instil calmness and get rid of irrational anger)
----> The meditation may help to figure out the source. There's always a source man.
It depends how it manifests itself. I presume that, although it doesn't have a source, it still has a focus and an outlet?
In general though, the way I would deal with that is by acknowledging:
- I can't change the past so there's no point being angry about anything that's happened
- I can change the future so I can take logical steps to get around whatever is annoying me
- If something's out of my control then I can do nothing and so shouldn't be angry at all or worry
- There's no point worrying/being angry about things that haven't happened yet
I would also try and practise the art of letting things go. As soon as something's happened and the immediate flash of annoyance is over there's no point any more because it won't change it. Steel yourself enough you can get to the point where you literally don't care about anything.
(I'd also meditate and take up yoga. I cannot push yoga strongly enough to instil calmness and get rid of irrational anger)
----> The meditation may help to figure out the source. There's always a source man.
go jogging...seriously, it always calms me down. I smoke a bowl and go jog for bit and after I am content and too tired to be all riled up. Since I stared to jog each morning I feel wayyy calmer.
Invest in a punching bag. Hang it from some 2x4's screwed to the studs in the ceiling. The light ones are easier to hit and smack around.
Upon striking, scream.
Upon striking, scream.
All good advice thanks guys SWIM appreciates :d . Its good to have place on web to vent sometimes instead of always driving your loved ones crazy. SWIM wants to find the source and deal with it as acolon said but its complex when it seems to just be emanating from your core and for reasons beyond your control.
It's interesting that you say "reason's beyond your control"... I think many people feel anger because they are frustrated by NOT having control. Perhaps, for example, because they are angered by how society is run/manipulated. We all want control, but it just isn't possible. "Be like water", Bruce Lee said!
My mother used to tell me I needed anger management when I was adolescent (oh the angst!). In fact SWIM had exactly the same problem as me and only truly got out of it after getting ill then discovering aya and DMT. I learnt to deal with this awful feeling of lack of control by just accepting that which is out of my control, rather than brooding on it. You can still do your little bit, but do it in a positive way and don't let it take up too much of your time, and try to focus on the good things in life. Find simple joys to appreciate... a cool glass of water, a cup of cocoa, the smell of palo santo, an intimate moment with a friend. Gratitude for what you have is important... think about how much you have to be thankful for when you feel angry... life can't be all ups. And good times are always around the corner.
Also... BUY DAVID D BURN'S FEELING GOOD: THE NEW MOOD THERAPY! Someone feeling persistent anger has got stuck in a negative mental rut. Your thoughts dictate your emotions. This book should teach you to think a positive or neutral thought rather than a negative thought when reacting to an external stimulus, and the thought will no longer direct your brain to release 'angry' chemicals. (I expect there are also lots of anger management specific books- browse Amazon for the bestsellers and check for reputable reviews)
Everyone else has already said it all. Of course you can substitute masturbation for sex, a sexually frustrated person is easily angered. And also, don't let yourself get too hungry ever- hunger can put people in foul moods.
My mother used to tell me I needed anger management when I was adolescent (oh the angst!). In fact SWIM had exactly the same problem as me and only truly got out of it after getting ill then discovering aya and DMT. I learnt to deal with this awful feeling of lack of control by just accepting that which is out of my control, rather than brooding on it. You can still do your little bit, but do it in a positive way and don't let it take up too much of your time, and try to focus on the good things in life. Find simple joys to appreciate... a cool glass of water, a cup of cocoa, the smell of palo santo, an intimate moment with a friend. Gratitude for what you have is important... think about how much you have to be thankful for when you feel angry... life can't be all ups. And good times are always around the corner.
Also... BUY DAVID D BURN'S FEELING GOOD: THE NEW MOOD THERAPY! Someone feeling persistent anger has got stuck in a negative mental rut. Your thoughts dictate your emotions. This book should teach you to think a positive or neutral thought rather than a negative thought when reacting to an external stimulus, and the thought will no longer direct your brain to release 'angry' chemicals. (I expect there are also lots of anger management specific books- browse Amazon for the bestsellers and check for reputable reviews)
Everyone else has already said it all. Of course you can substitute masturbation for sex, a sexually frustrated person is easily angered. And also, don't let yourself get too hungry ever- hunger can put people in foul moods.
MalargueZiggy
Rising Star
acolon_5 said:
I think that the hardest emotion to deal with, hands down, is regret. Even if you can let things go and accept you can't change the past etc etc, I find regret always comes back to haunt you.
Which brings me to another piece of advice. A cliche maybe, but something that really helped me through a difficult time: live in the moment. You're angry about something, but if you take your immediate surroundings and look at them (unless you're being directly affected by something in which case you have your source right there to deal with) you can quickly realise that there's nothing to be angry about there. Yes there may be things facing you in 10 mins, 1 hour, even as little as 5 mins. But right now you're ok so breathe, distract your mind from the anger, take in your surroundings and find pleasure in the small details and your anger will hopefully subside.
ohayoco said:And also, don't let yourself get too hungry ever- hunger can put people in foul moods.
A very good point. I get really irritable if I don't eat, even if I'm going to eat reasonably soon. Times when there's no food on the horizon and it's game over.
"Anger" always means that you hate reality. You have to ask yourself what you think hating reality can get you (and, of course, the answer is absolutely nothing). You also have to ask yourself how you could have ever gotten the CRAZY idea to hate reality in the first place...
Reality only ever gets modified by "directed intelligence..." if you need reality to change. Anger is ALWAYS self-destructive--it has virtually no effect on external reality, and only ever really directs that intense energy inward (even if it feels othewise). Other than simply fixing a small external problem, anger only ever goes away when you admit to yourself that hating reality is a REALLY crazy response to the external world.
Reality only ever gets modified by "directed intelligence..." if you need reality to change. Anger is ALWAYS self-destructive--it has virtually no effect on external reality, and only ever really directs that intense energy inward (even if it feels othewise). Other than simply fixing a small external problem, anger only ever goes away when you admit to yourself that hating reality is a REALLY crazy response to the external world.
DMTripper
John Murdoch IV
I was angry all the time, even when I thought I was in a good mood people told me I acted angry and frustrated. And in a bad mood I was a nightmare to be around. I was also very depressed like 8-10 years ago and had to be hospitalized once because of that. And physically I was sick too. All this anger is such a destructive force. And takes away from you all energy. I was always tired too.
Today I can get angry but just like normal people. Well maybe a bit to the extreme if I have a good reason hehe
But I love life, my friends and family and I'm a very happy person in general. And I feel more power and tranquility.
What helped me was just prayer and meditation. I prayed for direction and for help to deal with myself and asked for my anger and fears to be taken away.
Then I asked instead to be given opportunity to give something back. To help others dealing with themselves. I always try to do my best in life. To be of use for society and those who need help.
I've come a long way but I have lots of work to do.
Works for me
Good luck and I hope you find your way.
It sucks ass to be always angry.
edit:
And a good dose of mushrooms once or twice a year also does miracles and helps me see through the bullcrap that's fogging my mind.
Shrooms are my main teachers. I've had good and tough lessons taught by them. I love these little fellas
Today I can get angry but just like normal people. Well maybe a bit to the extreme if I have a good reason
heheBut I love life, my friends and family and I'm a very happy person in general. And I feel more power and tranquility.
What helped me was just prayer and meditation. I prayed for direction and for help to deal with myself and asked for my anger and fears to be taken away.
Then I asked instead to be given opportunity to give something back. To help others dealing with themselves. I always try to do my best in life. To be of use for society and those who need help.
I've come a long way but I have lots of work to do.
Works for me
Good luck and I hope you find your way.
It sucks ass to be always angry.
edit:
And a good dose of mushrooms once or twice a year also does miracles and helps me see through the bullcrap that's fogging my mind.
Shrooms are my main teachers. I've had good and tough lessons taught by them. I love these little fellas
What?!?!
Maybe you should ask yourself where you got a crazy idea like that?
WS
warrensaged said:
Explain what you mean.
Let's say someone "insults you" or something, and you get angry. Aren't you "angry at reality?" Isn't it reality that the person insulted you? Is there any way to change that? It's already over with, the FACT is that they insulted you. Getting angry changes nothing about it, about what they might feel, or why, about whether you even understood them correctly, etc.
Maybe instead of hating "reality" I should have said hating "the past." Whatever it is you're angry about is "a fact of history." It's like being angry over WWII--it's over, there's nothing that can change it, and being "angry" about it is just some personal workout of your emotions that has nothing to do with the world NOW, and which can't change anything...
Food allergies do this to people as well.
Could you give some specific examples on how this anger manifests? Are there periods when this angers comes more easily? Are you stressed when it happens?burnt said:
I believe it does have a reason, only that you may not be familiar enough with your emotions to discern where it is coming from. It takes time and dedication to learn to listen to your own emotions and feelings, not to mention your belief structures.
And as said earlier in this thread, try to live in the moment. What has happened is over with, try to let it go in your mind too. Let go of the control over others and your life, this should save you a lot of pain.
Is it easy? Nope. Can take many years, but over time, years, I believe you will notice definite improvements.
Think about what happens when you resist something on ayahuasca/dmt. What happens? You experience pain/discomfort etc. I believe the same goes in real life, only it is much more in your face on psychedelics.
One book I would recommend about living in the present is The untethered soul.
It does repeat itself, but it is easy to understand.
Stress certainly has been a factor. I think what pisses me off the most is the stupidity and violence in the world which I really have zero control over so I shouldn't care about it. Also SWIM has been in quite a bit of chronic physical pain lately which I am trying to deal with but it certainly adds to stress.
I dont believe in praying but I see the value in meditation. My girlfriend is trying to get me into yoga with her so things like that should help.
Psychedelics do help but SWIM has to be careful SWIM is prone to coming up with vast conspiracies about the world and whats going on that can make SWIM really really paranoid which happens more when SWIM is stressed. But thats just a matter of working through it and focusing on other aspects of the experience. Totally manageable.
I don't hate reality btw I like it.
Thanks for advise all its appreciated 8)
I dont believe in praying but I see the value in meditation. My girlfriend is trying to get me into yoga with her so things like that should help.
Psychedelics do help but SWIM has to be careful SWIM is prone to coming up with vast conspiracies about the world and whats going on that can make SWIM really really paranoid which happens more when SWIM is stressed. But thats just a matter of working through it and focusing on other aspects of the experience. Totally manageable.
I don't hate reality btw I like it.
Thanks for advise all its appreciated 8)
Perhaps instead of thinking of praying as something religious, try to see it as focused intention. As you might know, intention can be powerful before an ayahuasca/dmt experience.
DMTripper
John Murdoch IV
burnt said:
I think no one believes in prayer that has never prayed. That's normal, the opposite would not be normal. But you have to get quite desperate to try something as "stupid" as praying. I got desperate and to my surprise it worked. Something started to happen. How me and my life has changed the last 10 years is a miracle
Hope you find your answers and get your fat ass to a yoga class with your girlfriend.
hehehe You're lucky to have here around if she's on that line Yoga can also do miracles. But patience is a must.Good luck