I could see entities more distinctly this time. Two in particular watched me arriving and being settled into this landscape. It was like they were farmers. I could not see their faces, (which is a common theme), but I had the distinct impression of overalls, a foot resting on the lower rung of a rail, hay coming from a mouth. None of these things were quite as literal as I describe them, but more filled with blue and green than the rest of the evolving landscape and obviously a different sort of sentience. They had a distinct shape and form to them which was outside the makeup of the background. They watched me and made no attempt to communicate with me. I felt like cattle being surveyed in a pen. This wasn’t a good or a bad feeling, it just was.
I fell back into the warmth and felt at peace. Soon after I felt myself opening my mouth, or being urged to. I decided this was ok, so I did. It felt like things were being put into me. At first, I thought of the surgeon experience ages ago, but then it struck me – I was being milked or something. It was ok. It felt symbiotic, not exploitative, but this could just be me being delusional. I don’t know. I do remember feeling cared for. Not as an equal though, more like a pet. Or a cow. The warmth of the embrace I felt made me drift away and not care. Occasionally I felt like my hair was being tussled like you’d scratch a cat behind the ears. I went with it. During this phase I felt like there was an exchange of information going on, but this was very one-sided – the way an adult would distract and manipulate a toddler. I came to realise I was being distracted with information so that they could do what they wanted – feed? Harvest? I don’t know, but it didn’t matter – despite sounding so freaky. It was like I was just now aware of something that always happens, not something new or to be feared.
At some part of this experience, I began to feel something tugging at my lower jaw, trying to make me turn my head or open my mouth wider. This I didn’t like and it didn’t feel right at all. I resisted it and concentrated on the warmth and the caring which I presumed was coming from the “farmers” whose intent seemed pure. Whatever was doing the tugging went away. I remember thinking that this is what livestock must feel like when the wolves are driven off. I’m not sure if it was exactly then but I do remember a wizard type thing watching over me and sending things away. This may have happened at this point.
This process went on for a while. I could quite literally feel things sliding into and down my throat. This felt like it was important. I was dimly aware of being distracted by more kindergarten type imagery to keep my attention on the surface of the experience so I didn’t interrupt the “work” that was being undertaken. “Work” feels like the right word. This was an organised effort going on.
Sometime during this process of distraction where I was receiving wonderful information and insights, (that I can no longer recall), I became aware of a disagreement in the gathered host. Something along the lines of “O why are you even bothering showing him that? He can’t understand it and won’t be able to bring it back”. That’s why I described the interaction as an exchange. It wasn’t like I was being bullshitted with nonsense, (that I know of), but there was a definite power imbalance at play.
This feeling of being opened and inserted, fed upon, came and went throughout the experience – both in the peak stages and during the comedown phase following. It was almost like I was giving myself to one thing which would detach and a little while later something else would return. During these stages I would have recurring flashes or images of some jellyfish-like creature or something like an octopus with suckered tentacles. Whatever it was I felt like I was connecting to the tendrils or the tentacles during this feeding phase. I never really saw these things, it was more of an awareness that this is what they were and what was happening to me.
