Valmar
Esteemed member
What a weekend!
On Saturday evening, I drank a 70 gram brew of Caapi-only Ayahuasca, feeling drawn to drink. It was my choice, but it was the right one. At least I didn't vomit this time...
During the journey, the focus seemed to be focused on opening up my Heart chakra. A day or two prior, I had felt my Heart chakra pulse with a gentle energy, and realized something was going to happen. My tiger spirit and I focusing on our Love for each other, I went through a range of sensations and some clear visualizations. In the region of my Solar Plexus chakra, whenever I would focus on the energy flow there and expanding it, I would get this electric feeling exploding through my body, occasionally seeing it as well. This journey had major impacts on me over the next few days.
The next day, I was so damn tired and fatigued ~ felt like I was slipping into Decay and the Darkness again. Was the Abyss consuming me? I realized today, that tiredness allowed the pain in my Heart to overwhelm me. I felt so alone, so disconnected, disgusted with myself...
Today, I felt rather okay, so I went through the day feeling mostly stable, energetically and vibrationally. My physical energy didn't really flucuate that much, because I've been kicked refined sugars and grains out of my diet, which my spirit guides had been pushing for me to achieve.
This afternoon, when I got home, my tiger spirit requested me to sit and focus on her. She worked on my Heart chakra, and pulled at my awareness so I focused on her and what she was doing. I realized what my role was, and so, taking over when I needed to, focused on accepting and forgiving myself and my past hurts. As I forgave myself, the frozen energy I focused on dissolve and scattered away. My Heart started to open again, which had been closed for many months, because I believed that I had hurt my tiger spirit, so I needlessly punished myself heavily for it, even when she firmly told me that I had not hurt her whatsoever.
Tomorrow, coincidentally timed, it would seem, I am doing a Reiki session, to clear away the energetic debris and purify my aura. A few weeks later, I am seeking Reiki training, in order to progress with my self-healing, and when I am ready, eventually become a healer myself.
On Saturday evening, I drank a 70 gram brew of Caapi-only Ayahuasca, feeling drawn to drink. It was my choice, but it was the right one. At least I didn't vomit this time...
During the journey, the focus seemed to be focused on opening up my Heart chakra. A day or two prior, I had felt my Heart chakra pulse with a gentle energy, and realized something was going to happen. My tiger spirit and I focusing on our Love for each other, I went through a range of sensations and some clear visualizations. In the region of my Solar Plexus chakra, whenever I would focus on the energy flow there and expanding it, I would get this electric feeling exploding through my body, occasionally seeing it as well. This journey had major impacts on me over the next few days.
The next day, I was so damn tired and fatigued ~ felt like I was slipping into Decay and the Darkness again. Was the Abyss consuming me? I realized today, that tiredness allowed the pain in my Heart to overwhelm me. I felt so alone, so disconnected, disgusted with myself...
Today, I felt rather okay, so I went through the day feeling mostly stable, energetically and vibrationally. My physical energy didn't really flucuate that much, because I've been kicked refined sugars and grains out of my diet, which my spirit guides had been pushing for me to achieve.
This afternoon, when I got home, my tiger spirit requested me to sit and focus on her. She worked on my Heart chakra, and pulled at my awareness so I focused on her and what she was doing. I realized what my role was, and so, taking over when I needed to, focused on accepting and forgiving myself and my past hurts. As I forgave myself, the frozen energy I focused on dissolve and scattered away. My Heart started to open again, which had been closed for many months, because I believed that I had hurt my tiger spirit, so I needlessly punished myself heavily for it, even when she firmly told me that I had not hurt her whatsoever.
Tomorrow, coincidentally timed, it would seem, I am doing a Reiki session, to clear away the energetic debris and purify my aura. A few weeks later, I am seeking Reiki training, in order to progress with my self-healing, and when I am ready, eventually become a healer myself.
