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been having bad trips

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giver of will said:
I ended up smoking a lot more, didnt want to leave the dmt on a bad note. The bad trips went away and the colors and stuff are coming back again, I just cant break through though no matter how much spice I pack in or how many hits I take. I keep reaching sub-breakthrough and I have maybe 1 more dose left before I'm out of DMT for who knows how long. I cant figure out how to break through again.
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It seems like your intent is now less about learning than it is about avoiding negative experiences. Perhaps you've learned all you can from this particular type of experience at this point in your life? The set change from learning to avoiding disappointment seems a very likely cause for the visual effects to have returned. Turning focus more towards taking a psychedelic experience for what it may be rather than a defined set that has previously produced undesirable effects has always helped me to engage in a broader range of effects.

I've yet to try DMT, but I've gone through very similar frustrations with both LSD and DXM. Once I was able to get a breakthrough-type experience, it was not a simple matter of time or set/setting until I was able to have another. Similar to your experience, if I attempted to reach another spiritual peak the end result was mundane and disappointing. I am fortunate, though, to have never had any bad trips involving fear or unnatural (for me) anxiety.

Generally it would take a major turn of events in my life or an unexpected occurrence to open the possibility for another profound experience. The way I interpret the situation is my ego had learned and explored all it was capable of with my current set of life experiences. My ego was not willing, though, to resort to the conclusion that there was nothing left to explore. An open-minded individual is simply not capable of this IMO. What I would feel, then, was likened to your experience of rejecting the trip. My ego resolved to argue that I was not ready for further exploration rather than the alternative.

Just as we must integrate our psychedelic experiences into our lives, so must our trips integrate our life experiences. With no new or unexplored significant life experiences to integrate, a trip is unlikely to be able to produce a new perspective.
 
As for me I have yet to have one "bad trip". The only time I did was when I was inexperienced and opened my eyes during intense visuals. I've now had over 50 experiences and just 2 nights ago gained the courage to get a breakthrough dose. It was transformational! For you sir I believe it is a combo of your attitude and the way you are vaping it. I noticed it is a little tough to get a good dose especially on the purity of the spice. Seems like the purer my crystals are the harder it is to vape. If you allow your mind to say "I don't like this" or "I hate psychedelics" what do you think will happen? In order for you to stop your "bad" experiences you must first be fulfilled in the physical world. Do not try to reach a state of enlightenment without first being in the right state of mind!! The heavenly spice is not going to give you answers if that's all your after! Accept what you experience and return back fresh, new, the vibrant person you are. Also you should definitely look again at how you are smoking it. Sounds like your stuck right before the visuals kick in which is actually pretty unpleasant I've noticed. Keep puffing and holding it in for 10-15 seconds until your vision "crystalizes" that's when I put my pipe down. But seriously turn down the lights, light a candle and sit back and take 3 nice big hits!! When I broke through it was the most amazing experience of my life!! I could never break through before I tried in a dark room, no chance to see the initial effects and dove in for the third hit and left my body. I remember thinking "holy crap! I can't put my body back together" but sure as the sun I came back and was breathing perfectly normal. I love you all!!! Enjoy life and you will enjoy the spice!
 
Enoon said:
What are you smoking out of again?

I probably always pack enough to break through, but if it doesn't work I never feel bad about it (unless the trip itself was bad, which has only happened once or twice so far). I take every failed launch as a sign that it wasn't the right moment for it to work. My body sometimes refuses to inhale properly or my hand will not keep the torch on for a long enough time to get everything heated up. It's strange because this kind of coordination isn't hard to manage, but there are moments when it just will not work properly. I see it like my body is making use of its veto right. So be it.

If you are now back to colors and whatnot then you can take it easy. Find a proper piece to smoke your spice out of if you don't have one already (e.g. a GVG or VG), and give it some thought as to why you are doing this. That is to say, do you have any specific intentions behind doing dmt? If you did break through right now, what would you do with the experience? Could you gain something out of it, would it be beneficial to you? Would you have to inner tools and technologies to discover meaning and value in it?

Sometimes we rush into things and potentially valuable experiences fly right past us because we are not in the right mindset to process them. Sometimes our minds are cluttered with past experiences that are still in cue to be processed and integrated and there is no room for new things yet. I find that psychedelics in general are something very sacred and I would not want to waste a trip, that could potentially teach me many things or help me get some needed work done, just because I was impatient.
I say this because of your statement "I ended up smoking a lot more," which sounds a bit like you're just trying to force it to happen. Maybe you're not, and I apologize for this conjecture, but at least consider the above points and try to figure out if smoking it right now is really going to give you anything.

Personally I've gotten a lot from sub-breakthrough doses. And the times I felt like I got nothing at all from spice it gave me reason to contemplate my relationship with this amazing entheogen and I got something out of that too. Once figured out what I wanted, and my mind in a better place the experiences became in themselves more meaningful again.

So do take this chance to engage in some introspection ... in fact, take any chance to do that :) introspection is never wrong IMO :p These experiences can be so much more than the few minutes they seem to last. Breakthroughs are overrated, experiences are overrated. It is the whole, the all inclusive context of everything that involves you and the cosmos that is important. At least this is my take on the matter. I must always remind myself to look beyond the obvious and into the greater and deeper spaces to see the essences that are behind the manifesting things.

cheers & love
Enoon
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When I said I have been smoking a lot more it is because I had a good experience on it and was just like "I wanna do that again!". I'm not really trying to get past my fear of bad trips by smoking it a ton. I just wanted to experience it. And to answer the question what I would do when I broke through? I have broken through once before for about 10 seconds, I saw the entities and I think it was my surprise that caused me to come back so fast. I dont really expect to learn anything from breaking through, its such a fast and intense trip you dont really get the chance to say "hey I'm starting to get it now" or if you do after 10 minutes its like "wait what was it that I was starting to understand?". I want to break through more to experience and feel what is to be felt rather than to learn. DMT has its life changing qualities but you will NEVER understand what it really is, so I don't go into the trip trying to understand what is happening to me.

I have been using a light bulb, I had a "crack pipe" but I found it much easier being able to see the size of the hits I was getting from the bulb. Today is 4/20 and they are having a half off everything sale at this smoke shop around here, I think I'm gonna get a VG today. I just wish I had more DMT left to use with the VG, I don't wanna just buy it not knowing when I will ever get DMT again.

Thanks for the support Enoon.
 
I second the recommendation to lay off the grass; when I'm going to visit the spice, I try to abstain from grass for at least an entire day. The only time I tried them together and it worked was back a while ago when we had some stuff that took like a good 20 minutes to kick in, so we smoked some green, then hit the spice. The normal chattiness I get after a spice trip was magnified quite nicely by the high that was creepin' up on me. Wrote a lot that night. Can't do that anymore, any grass I touch seems to kick in almost immediately, been like that for the last 6 months or so.

My $0.02:
I went through a period where I had some bad trips too, probably blasted off 6 times in a couple months and only 1 of them was enjoyable/positive. Looking back and reflecting, I think it was my Ego trying to reassert itself; like it let me try out some of these new substances, but realized it was slowly dieing and did its best to instill fear into my trip, and it succeeded for quite a while.

Spice can be an alien experience; a solid breakthrough trip is almost completely inconsistent with the established, three-dimensional reality that we have enjoyed thus far in life. I think that's why the "ego death" can be such a terrifying experience. Remember when you were a kid, and you learned that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all entertaining lies your parents told you? Many people remember that for their whole lives, or "the day the music died", or where they were and what they were doing when 9/11 happened, or when JFK, Princess Diana, MLK, etc. were taken from this world. Sure, these are tragic events, but, for some people, these events take a portion of reality and completely destroy it. Makes life a whole new experience from that point on, and that can be pretty terrifying for anyone.

So for as wonderfully as the human brain and mind/consciousness function normally together, one has to remember that the brain exists in 3-D space, and the mind spends most of its time there as well. The mind adjusts rather quickly to the spice reality, while it takes the brain a while to figure out just what the fuck is going on. Maybe that's why I, and you (it sounds like), and many others have a series of good trips when we're first introduced to this sacred sacrament, followed by a string of bad ones. I think the spice trip can create a cognitive dissonance so strong that it takes the brain a while to actually register it, and when it does, it throws up all alarms and does the best it can to hold onto everything it has experienced up to the "spice time" as the one and only reality.

Bruce Damer does a good bit on ego death in the first 10 minutes or so of this podcast, definitely worth listening to if any of this stuff about ego rings true with you:

I didn't even really think about what was happening to me with these bad trips right away, it took a lot of time and thought to put something coherent together. Take your time, look where you haven't looked before, and hopefully you'll find an answer!

Peace & Joy
 
I don't know. For me it seems clear that you were just hitting the spice too much. Your original post said a few times in one week. As you said the experience happens so fast thats sometimes its hard to learn something from it (something along those lines) but what ever happened to just basking in the beauty of what you just experiences for a few weeks. Maybe your not giving your brain enough time to revel in the mystery and pull something from the deep of your experience because you casted off again.
 
MojoPin said:
I don't know. For me it seems clear that you were just hitting the spice too much. Your original post said a few times in one week. As you said the experience happens so fast thats sometimes its hard to learn something from it (something along those lines) but what ever happened to just basking in the beauty of what you just experiences for a few weeks. Maybe your not giving your brain enough time to revel in the mystery and pull something from the deep of your experience because you casted off again.
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im not sure mojo if there is a one size fits all "too much" number. i know myself and a good many other people that have at times or presently smoked dmt 4-5 nights a week and a few times each night. i did this for about 9 months at one point and for me it got a bit out of hand. not so much bad trips it just got so strange and peculiar that nothing made any sense anymore.

my 2 cents is that dmt is all over the board. whats right for one person is another mans hell. i believe its the desperate wanting that can get you into trouble. it seems the harder a person chases the breakthrough the more it eludes him and makes a frantic mindset. this mindset can go quite sour or just simply shut off the experience all together. ive had both happen to me.

OP- i agree with mojo's opinion that you may not be accepting what was given. i would say its time to chill for a bit and wait until you can smoke with not so much expectant results. you get what you get and its not un common to have periods of dud's. they are all part of the game and we have to find the perfection in every journey.
 
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