Azot
Rising Star
Just thought i'd share this one with you all as it was so interesting, and ask you all a couple of questions.
I loaded up 45mg in the VG and took three long milky thick tugs before I sat back in my chair ready to voyage.
Above me i saw a kind of window, a flat opening into another world which was like a vast ceiling above me. through the opening i could see a very vivid, brightly lit world. The background was pure white, there were 3d structures of various brilliant colours, everything inside was glowing. I could feel a very powerful energy coming from this world, i felt it on the top of my head at first.
I noted that the window was descending, covering more of my vision, and the energy radiating from it was getting closer and more intense, i assumed that it was eventually going to engulf me, if i had taken a large enough dose.
Inside of the white world a huge black disk formed, the disk was covered in intricate geometric 'carvings', its surface radiated a strange light. I gazed at this disk in utter amazement at its beauty, intricacy and strangeness.
As this window got close to me, it got to the point that the energetic tension i was feeling was far too intense. My whole head felt like it was glowing, vibrating, literally like it was going to burst. I assumed this was a kind of tension which was the result of crossing the threshold to that world. I therefore hoped to god i would just cross the threshold and the tension would be gone, i hoped it would happen before my head actually popped all over my kitchen floor.
At this point i was suddenly engulfed, entirely immersed in this world, i was no longer looking though a window at it, i was inside it. My head now felt a hundred times worse, i was sure it was going to pop at any moment, i could hear my heart beating and feel it pounding in my chest, at a rate of maybe 180bpm or more. I was having a subconscious reaction to what i was seeing and feeling, like it was too much for me to see, like i wasnt supposed to see it. This subconscious reaction was a form of panic.
A part of me was just thinking "this is way too intense, im gona have a heart attack or my head is gona literally burst, i wana get off this ride". The other part of me was experienced enough to know, there is no getting off, panic only makes things worse, i tried my best to breathe and relax to the experience, but my subconscious was still recoiling from what it was seeing.
As my mind subconsciously tried to turn my gaze away from what i was seeing, it was as if someone was grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at it, it was inescapable. I tried to relax and ride it out but it was too intense.
I saw indescribable geometric structures inside this world, insanely intricate patterns. Best of all, i saw two dna helixes made of cuboid prisms, the two helixes spiralled around eachother to make a larger helix, this structure towered above me as i looked upward. Far above where the helixes ended, i saw an eye, for all intents and purposes, this was the eye of 'god'. I knew and could feel that this eye was a mask, a front, for the all seeing, the all powerful, nothing like a man in the clouds, something impersonal, vast and all powerful. Seeing this was amazing but i was panicking too much to take it in till afterwards.
I forced myself not to open my eyes, as i knew it would make things worse if nothing changed when i did. Eventually i thought of putting my hands over my eyes to reduce the light and dull the imagery. This worked splendidly and allowed me to catch my breath, relax and sober up quicker. In the darkness i saw a tunnel stretch out to infinite and thought it was awesome. The whole experience had that 'more real than real' look and feel to it, impossible to understand unless youve experienced it.
I opened my eyes as soon as i thought i was ready, sparkling geometric forms overlaid upon reality, i ignored them as i was filled with overwhelming relief to have gotten over the peak without my head exploding or having a heart attack.
At the time this experience was exceedingly uncomfortable to say the least, and i wanted to escape it at all costs. In hindsight i just want to go back to it, or wish i had taken it in better. Another part of me thinks that seeing that just the once is enough, but yet another part thinks "nah lets see it again some time". It was an amazing experience, perhaps perspective shifting in time.
In short, it felt like i looked beyond the curtain, and it was too much for a human to behold, to loud for a human to hear, but i survived to tell the tale and it was awesome.
Question: if i had a similar experience next time, would i be less inclined to subconscious panic? Was the overwhelming intensity due to too high a dose as i suspect?
Thanks brothers and sisters of the Nexus.
I loaded up 45mg in the VG and took three long milky thick tugs before I sat back in my chair ready to voyage.
Above me i saw a kind of window, a flat opening into another world which was like a vast ceiling above me. through the opening i could see a very vivid, brightly lit world. The background was pure white, there were 3d structures of various brilliant colours, everything inside was glowing. I could feel a very powerful energy coming from this world, i felt it on the top of my head at first.
I noted that the window was descending, covering more of my vision, and the energy radiating from it was getting closer and more intense, i assumed that it was eventually going to engulf me, if i had taken a large enough dose.
Inside of the white world a huge black disk formed, the disk was covered in intricate geometric 'carvings', its surface radiated a strange light. I gazed at this disk in utter amazement at its beauty, intricacy and strangeness.
As this window got close to me, it got to the point that the energetic tension i was feeling was far too intense. My whole head felt like it was glowing, vibrating, literally like it was going to burst. I assumed this was a kind of tension which was the result of crossing the threshold to that world. I therefore hoped to god i would just cross the threshold and the tension would be gone, i hoped it would happen before my head actually popped all over my kitchen floor.
At this point i was suddenly engulfed, entirely immersed in this world, i was no longer looking though a window at it, i was inside it. My head now felt a hundred times worse, i was sure it was going to pop at any moment, i could hear my heart beating and feel it pounding in my chest, at a rate of maybe 180bpm or more. I was having a subconscious reaction to what i was seeing and feeling, like it was too much for me to see, like i wasnt supposed to see it. This subconscious reaction was a form of panic.
A part of me was just thinking "this is way too intense, im gona have a heart attack or my head is gona literally burst, i wana get off this ride". The other part of me was experienced enough to know, there is no getting off, panic only makes things worse, i tried my best to breathe and relax to the experience, but my subconscious was still recoiling from what it was seeing.
As my mind subconsciously tried to turn my gaze away from what i was seeing, it was as if someone was grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at it, it was inescapable. I tried to relax and ride it out but it was too intense.
I saw indescribable geometric structures inside this world, insanely intricate patterns. Best of all, i saw two dna helixes made of cuboid prisms, the two helixes spiralled around eachother to make a larger helix, this structure towered above me as i looked upward. Far above where the helixes ended, i saw an eye, for all intents and purposes, this was the eye of 'god'. I knew and could feel that this eye was a mask, a front, for the all seeing, the all powerful, nothing like a man in the clouds, something impersonal, vast and all powerful. Seeing this was amazing but i was panicking too much to take it in till afterwards.
I forced myself not to open my eyes, as i knew it would make things worse if nothing changed when i did. Eventually i thought of putting my hands over my eyes to reduce the light and dull the imagery. This worked splendidly and allowed me to catch my breath, relax and sober up quicker. In the darkness i saw a tunnel stretch out to infinite and thought it was awesome. The whole experience had that 'more real than real' look and feel to it, impossible to understand unless youve experienced it.
I opened my eyes as soon as i thought i was ready, sparkling geometric forms overlaid upon reality, i ignored them as i was filled with overwhelming relief to have gotten over the peak without my head exploding or having a heart attack.
At the time this experience was exceedingly uncomfortable to say the least, and i wanted to escape it at all costs. In hindsight i just want to go back to it, or wish i had taken it in better. Another part of me thinks that seeing that just the once is enough, but yet another part thinks "nah lets see it again some time". It was an amazing experience, perhaps perspective shifting in time.
In short, it felt like i looked beyond the curtain, and it was too much for a human to behold, to loud for a human to hear, but i survived to tell the tale and it was awesome.
Question: if i had a similar experience next time, would i be less inclined to subconscious panic? Was the overwhelming intensity due to too high a dose as i suspect?
Thanks brothers and sisters of the Nexus.
