Breakthrough?

[astream]

Hi,

i think i just had my first DMT breakthrough or at least something along the way. I'm rather tolerant to most psychedelics, i tried smoking DMT a couple of times until i got the hang of it. (Put it between ash in an ice-bong). Earlier this evening i tried about 50mg, the resulting visuals were very unique. Every straight line felt straighter, every color more "suitable" my room felt like a temple. Everything was so sharp and defined and clear and had this warm buzz to it.

An hour later i tried 100mg and… well, i can't exactly remember what happened. I lied back on my bed, but then apparently i got up and i felt like "being" a rollercoaster. I felt like throwing up multiple times because of everything that happened, but i didn't. The visuals and patterns were incredibly fast and all-consuming, i cannot remember exactly how much time went, i, for sure, couldn't see the room anymore. It was incredibly fast, vivid and strong, i felt like this temple-like reality exploded inside of me and i was shattered by it's matter. Or something. Then there was a moment were I got the hang of it and i didn't feel sick anymore. In hindsight i'm not really sure if i was really bodily sick or if my mind wanted to throw up. I felt like being crushed/exploded/rushed-through by this thing. Anyway, it was definitely immense compared to all the strong mushroom and lsd trips i've done. Immediately after coming down, my first thought was "i don't need to do drugs anymore".

I imagined the breakthrough differently, or maybe i didn't breakthrough, but i read "when you breakthrough you know it". And i felt like that, i have never ever experienced anything that intense.

The dmt i have is slightly yellow, though more on the white side. Are experiences like this usual?

 

[Abrazaderas]

my room felt like a temple

i feel you on that man.

your experience seems like a good solid example of smoking dmt. subsequent trips should become more lucid and coherent. as far as, 'did i break through', for me there is always a sudden emotional and sensory hyper-arousal following the clear conclusion of a spiraling train of thought that finally reaches the center.

during the spiral, entities, multiplex personalities, thoughts, images, problems, doubts, fears, reptile-brain ideas, archetypes, beliefs, conditionings, knowledge, etcetera, all seem to come after me, each with their own seductions and confrontations. my advice is to cut them apart with analysis, with infinite doubt and mistrust. absolute unyielding critical opposition to even the most glorious sights you will see... because what you spiral toward is something which it has never even once occurred to you to doubt. there is no substitute.

a good analogy would be when 'the embodiment of evil' who 'clothes himself in light' to look good (but lies) tempted jesus with all sorts of wonders that seemed so grand, and jesus passed the test by holding firmly to 'the source of all good'.

this is why i call dmt 'the eye of the needle', as in, it is harder for a rich man (someone whose (center of the spiral) is covered in junk and trinkets and cheap souvenirs - false mental wealth) to get to heaven (breakthrough) then it is to put a camel through the eye of a needle. you only truly possess what it is you carry with you at all times.

it may take you awhile to navigate this path successful, because dmt takes everything away from you. no one to help you here, no pity or excuses, 99% is a failing grade. only infinite resolve will work. to be truly willing to give everything

(incidentally this is the meaning of my screen name - clamp or vice grip)

its hard to talk about the other side. it will fade and life will continue as it was before. it will be bitter-sweet as you feel the everyday crowd start to darken the inner Sun again, but you can never forget what you're made of. and you can't be on dmt all the time. the streets are once again paved with mud, but you remember dancing in them with golden feet.

 

[astream]

Thanks for your kind and poetic words. You know, up to this day, i thought i knew what you were talking about. Due to various events in my life and my biography i'm very accustomed to all things my brain has to offer. I'm not really afraid of anything anymore, I think I have no problem to meet or talk to my family or other people while tripping for example. Also my way of life is not a secret to my surroundings, that helps a lot.

But. I wasn't prepared for this. Revisiting what happened yesterday, i think i know now what it feels to lose your mind, to get insane. It was immensely strange and beautiful and powerful and it broke me. I wasn't even fighting, i couldn't think at all, i was just overwhelmed. I think i actually had more like 150mg or so, I weighted 100mg but there was something a lot left in the bong. But, as I said, i'm rather tolerant so i thought it was a good idea. When I got to handle it, i was back in my room by the way. I still had intense visuals for more than an hour though.

In another way I think i was prepared. With my previous DMT experiences i always had the feeling that something/someone is looking at me while doing it. And consulting others "there" whether it's the right moment or idea to "let me in" with my inquisitive mind or whatever.

But i wanted to get in. I even said "please" while doing it. And they made sure that I got to know what it's like.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck

 

[cyb]

You're taking waaay too much...
I'm surprised you didn't black out..
20-30mg should be more than sufficient if vaped right... Dial it down a bit and it will better for you

 

[astream]

I'm on a low dose of an SNRI so I always take "a bit more". And who knows how much I really got vaporized properly. Though i didn't have a problem with the taste or anything. I only got the "burnt plastic"-taste when i tried it smoking in a joint once.

With ash in the ice-bong, it actually tastes (and smells) mild & pleasant, at least I like it. Maybe my brain links the feelings to it, because smelling the dmt-water in the bong gives me a slight, cozy "home" feeling.

I'll try less from now on. I think I almost passed out, i can only vaguely remember where i've been in the room during the "going insane" period, but I remember standing.