Breaktrough but in a bad way :(

[Hyperspacenoob]

Hi there,

I am a new member here but I have used DMT several times the last year or so. In total I estimate I have had about 50 DMT-expereiences. Most of them were very remarkable and enjoyable but lats time I used DMT I had an experience 100x times more powerfull then those I have had before. Me and 2 friends went outside in a grassland at 10 pm I think, it was dark, to smoke some DMT. First I inhaled a small amount of DMT ( we use a so called 'machine' to vaporize the DMT) to get in the right mood/setting for a bigger hit. It was ok but i didn't think the setting was ideal. Then my friends smoked some DMT and we started discussig and talking about our previous experiences as usual when we 'come down' from another trip. I started to get excited and felt like I was in a better mood, so I inhaled a bigger dose then the last 1. It felt very nice but is seemed like something was missing, is shouldn't know what but I just had that feeling. After that my friends also did a second 'round' and then I thought very impilsively as we were discussing again or trips, now I'm gonna take a huge hot and then It'll be amazing. I did so and i was blasted of and overwhelmed by the experience, for the first time I wasnt in control of the trip anymore and started to panic which only made it worse. I felt like I was vomiting but nothing came out of my throat. I felt really horrible and tried to call for my friends who gave me a little space to enjoy my trip but i was barebly able to speak and i had the feeling that i was shifting between several dimensions, sometimes i heard my friends and then again i was in the hyperspace dimension and couldn't contact them. The peak of this lasted like 1 or 2 minutes but seemed much longer for me at the time. Then i started to calm and my friends started to talk with me and assuring me that evrything would be ok and so on. My memories of the experience are very vague but what i do remember very well was when i was gaggig i felt like I was expelling some demon or something like that, really freaky.

I think that i know already for 70 or 80 procent why it went wrong ( litlle trouble with gf at the time, not the right intension, to impulsively, not the right setting = dark and a litlle bit cold, bigger dose then i was used to etc.)

But still I would like to know other people's opinion on this, especially the demon vomiting part seemed very strange to me but I started thinking and thought that it might be a litlle bit the same as the vomiting in aya-sessions (which I have never experienced but i read about it). Also it might be helpfull to know that I am a 19 year old boy who smokes cigarettes and at the time I just quitted smoking pot for 10 or more days.

 

[Hyperspacenoob]

Sorry for the spelling and typing mistakes, english isn't my native language

 

[gibran2]

... I did so and i was blasted of and overwhelmed by the experience, for the first time I wasnt in control of the trip anymore and started to panic which only made it worse.

Welcome to the Nexus and, from the sound of it, your first real breakthrough.

If you want to have more pleasant deep breakthroughs, throw away the idea that you’re going to be in control. As you said, your realization of lack of control (when you were expecting to be in control) led to panic and a difficult experience.

To attempt control is to assume that you know best. This is often not true in everyday life, and rarely true in hyperspace. Relinquishing control before you even begin your journey may make for more pleasant experiences.

 

[Global]

It may be uncomfortable, but as you said, it only lasted 1-2 minutes (even though it may have seemed more). You have to use knowledge like this like ammunition. Knowing that you will quickly be relieved of your uncomfortable situation is one of the most valuable tools you have on such a trip. You have to remind yourself that even if this isn't what you want right now that it will be over soon and that reality just pieces itself back together on its own and quite quickly at that. As gibran said, you gotta just go with it because you're not going to be able to control what's going on, so it's the equivalent of trying to use your mind powers to stop a roller coaster. It just ain't gonna happen, so it's pretty silly to waste your energy on trying. Just like the DMT, the roller coaster ride will be over shortly, and when it is, it's in the past for better or worse. It could be the best trip in the world or the worse and 10 minutes later you probably won't be able to really have a strong memory connection to either. Also, what I've found from extremely uncomfortably intense DMT experiences is that, at least for myself, they can be dark as can be, but somehow usually end well. Once the DMT starts to loose steam, what was once negative and overly intense can flower into much more pleasant energies. That is assuming you managed to keep your cool when things got intense, and just allowed yourself to ride out the experience. If you're not willing to ride it out, opening your eyes can sometimes serve as an "abort" but not always true, especially at higher doses.