Can anyone help me to figure out the meaning behind this experience?

[xexplo]

Hello everyone,
I'm really glad that I've been here for a while, I've learned a lot by reading lots of discussions on this forum and also the mighty wiki!

I'm 30 years old, 60kg weight and quite new to DMT and psychedelics, I've had lots of astral projection experiences during a period in my life (about 4 years ago for more than 3 years). Then somehow I abandoned the realm of astral projection due to some changes in my life which I don't want to go trough in this post.

One day I decided to smoke some extracted Harmalas and vape some DMT on it.
I might have gone too far with the dosing, I made a joint with some Tobacco and around 100mg Harmalas extract and smoked it. I didn't feel a lot after smoking it, everything was looking normal, but maybe a slightly brighter and more saturated colors, but no traces or anything psychedelic. It was my first time trying Haramalas.

Put about 40mg DMT on my vaping device (which is like a temperature control e-nail that I've made myself using a box mode and a RDA, it's actually customized for vaping DMT, I feel the vaping method is quite efficient).

I put some meditation music, turned lights off and made a cozy corner for myself while my wife went to sleep in another room.

So, after about 20 minutes I took my first hit from the device, while I was inhaling I had a very very strong experience and I don't know if it was a breakthrough or not, I don't remember how I could manage to put the device down, I don't know if I did inhale the whole dose and for how long I could keep it in my lungs. The only thing that I'm sure is I was inside another word while still inhaling.

First it started so beautiful with colorful patterns and geometric shapes. Then few entities came ( I remember one of them which was something like a shining void, it wasn't black, it was something like a void with the shape of a human, like I did not had the permission to see how he/she is looking like). I saw all my life passing before my eyes, in a tiny fraction of a second, it was something like 3 golden/orange clouds spinning around me and visions were inside them.

Then all of those 3 clouds went inside me and instantly I started to vomit so hard, He/She told me that He/She is cleansing my body to make it lighter and prepared for the future journeys. I wasn't prepared for vomiting. I was seeing things small like 2-3 cm coming out of my mouth while puking. They were looking like alive and colorful small octopus tentacles. I was seeing them and touching them and taking them out of my mouth and Throat. He/She told me that these are all my negative kind of energy which got stuck with me for the bad things (I don't know what word should I use to describe the Bad things!) that I've done.

He/She somehow took my physical body to the bathroom in my house. Then my wife came to me because apparently I was making lots of noise by vomiting and coughing.

The whole experience took around 30-40 minutes, I was panicking, the experience was horrible I was in the middle of hell of my own demons. I was crying and begging it to stop, I found out how naive and weak I am.

I had lots of other feelings and visions too, like in a point I thought I'm dead and I won't see my wife again. Also some other small entities were present which I believe they were somehow connected to the kitten that lives with us. I was told that everything that I have been given is here only as a tool for me, and I should use them to improve my sprite and the inner self and not abusing them!

When I started to come down very slowly, the visions were milder and I could control my self a little bit, but still I could see He/She is next beside me and telling me the things that I should not do in the future.

slowly He/She left, the visions were kinda gone, I looked around my self and I was assuming that I've vomited so much that every where needs to be cleaned. But apparently I did vomit only once and it wasn't that much.

I was feeling grateful and happy that I'm still alive and I'm able to take a shower and sleep again in my own bed next to my dear wife.

Before sleeping, which took me like couple of hours due to the intense experience, I don't know why, but I was sure that I'm gonna have a really vivid dream that night which it will give me more clues and answers, and I was right!

I dreamed that I'm in some kind of a building, with my wife being present. I was in a balcony and I was able to see lots of trees around, I could see a strange looking fruit on one of the branches. I did struggle to get the fruit but it wasn't possible! then I got back inside, there were other people inside, I do remember my passed away grandfather sitting there and he was reading some kind of book.
I did ask people inside for help to reach that strange looking fruit, I heard someone (I didn't see who was he/she) telling me that I should ask the tree itself for the fruit!
so I went out on balcony again and asked the tree, and then the fruit flowed toward my hand and I grabbed it! it was really pleasing!

The fruit's outer surface was something between Pineapple and Dragon Fruit. Purple/yellow color, with small dragon-fruit-shaped spikes on it. I did peel it, the flesh was something like pineapple but with much less fiber than an actual pineapple and much more juicy.

I was so exited in my dream that I'm able to talk to trees and they would trow me their fruits whenever I want to! so I went on exploration on the other rooms of the same building. In another balcony I saw other trees which they didn't had any fruit! I asked one of them that where is your fruit? I want to try it. Then that tree became in a shape of a young man (something like a 35 years old man) with a very friendly and kind face. He came on the balcony and we started to chat for a while. I don't clearly remember the conversation though.

Then he went inside a room, which had a refrigerator in it, he took a small bowl (dark blue color) from inside the refrigerator containing some brown color mush. He then told me that it's the root of the tree, and he offered me some to eat, I got two small teaspoons of it, it was so bitter. I don't know why but I told him that I don't want any more right now but definitely I'll have more later. then I woke up in a awe and wonder about what all these things might mean.

I've heard that the sprite of the Mimosa Hostilis tree is female, I don't know if the tree sprite I met was from the MH tree or not, and i'm not sure about the strange fruit and the mush he offered me.

I think it's good to share my story here, some people might be able to help.

Sorry for the long post!
All the best!

 

[windchime]

I'd be inclined to take the entity's word for it. Do your best to live a life that won't bog you down with negativity to avoid additional cleansing and in the future use psychedelics as tools for your own personal growth and education. Do not abuse them.

 

[xexplo]

I'd be inclined to take the entity's word for it. Do your best to live a life that won't bog you down with negativity to avoid additional cleansing and in the future use psychedelics as tools for your own personal growth and education. Do not abuse them.

I've decided to go trough a mental and physical diet according to the entity's suggestion. Trying to find out if it'd help me to have a better and more clear experiment.

Do you have any guesses about the strange fruit or the brown mush? or the tree sprite?

Thanks for your reply!
Peace.

 

[Erik]

Do you have any guesses about the strange fruit or the brown mush? or the tree sprite?

Some ideas:

The fruit is the result (or final product) of a tree: the fruit is ripe.

The male tree spirit equals the fruit. It probably signifies your future self, the possible result of your current self.

The brow mush is the root of the tree, ingesting the root of something implies that you are rooting yourself. You are a tree, in a way, hopefully bearing fruit in becoming a more ripe man in five years.

Bitterness is often associated with death. Death results in re-birth, so it is not negative per se.

Last but not least: Asking for the fruit, for ripeness, is different than striving for ripeness with effort. Asking implies the notion of being helpless, which can be a good thing, despite the association of helplessness being weakness. Being helpless, one becomes open for other people or other ideas or other aspects. The tree hands over the fruit, which indicates a form of help.

 

[xexplo]

Do you have any guesses about the strange fruit or the brown mush? or the tree sprite?

Some ideas:

The fruit is the result (or final product) of a tree: the fruit is ripe.

The male tree spirit equals the fruit. It probably signifies your future self, the possible result of your current self.

The brow mush is the root of the tree, ingesting the root of something implies that you are rooting yourself. You are a tree, in a way, hopefully bearing fruit in becoming a more ripe man in five years.

Bitterness is often associated with death. Death results in re-birth, so it is not negative per se.

Last but not least: Asking for the fruit, for ripeness, is different than striving for ripeness with effort. Asking implies the notion of being helpless, which can be a good thing, despite the association of helplessness being weakness. Being helpless, one becomes open for other people or other ideas or other aspects. The tree hands over the fruit, which indicates a form of help.

Wow, yea it makes sense to me. That's really a great point of view! honestly I wasn't looking at the dream from this perspective. I was looking for links between the dream and the DMT experience.

So do you think is there any link between these two? Or I should look at them from their own perspective?

And thanks for the comment, that's awesome!
Peace.

 

[Rivaq's Matilda]

There is a shape similarity between the octopus like shapes of what you threw up, in your DMT experience, and the pineapple/dragonfruit like shape of the fruit in your dream. That suggests a transformation, from what you learned you had done wrong, into a palatable self-acceptance.

Then in your dream, you are pleased and excited and looked towards another tree, indicating you want more of what you lost to be returned in a more palatable substance. And then the tree shows itself in its human coat, offering you root mash, indicating that the same facts are also now true in another level of matter. Fruit is young and full of the energy that will sprout new growth. Roots are old and stable and know their place. Clearly the younger energy of the fruit, can't be stable enough to continue to indulge yourself in.

 

[Erik]

Wow, yea it makes sense to me. That's really a great point of view! honestly I wasn't looking at the dream from this perspective. I was looking for links between the dream and the DMT experience.

So do you think is there any link between these two? Or I should look at them from their own perspective?

I myself am not sure about how dreams and DMT experiences relate. I believe that DMT experiences differ fundamentally.

Dreams are a product of the unconsciousness, whereas DMT experiences can be compared to ordinary experiences: they appear to be real.

Thus, a dream is a compensation for, or correction of, events, it want's to point something out to you.

As the DMT experience is seemingly negative and the dream is positive, the dream tells you not to worry. Growth is happening, not despite the negativity, but due to the fact that negativity has been eradicated to a degree (the stuff inside you you vomited out).

By the way: mushed food is for babies

 

[DmnStr8]

My two cents on this is that you have a dark side and a light side. Either side can present itself. Accept both equally. They are both a part of you. It is in my opinion, foolhardy to value the light more than the dark. They both hold lessons. One is hard and terrifying. One is bliss. It is easy to side on the bliss side and discount the terrifying. Sometimes we need to be terrified. Sometimes that is what we need. Shake you from your slumber.

 

[BecometheOther]

Something that stuck out to me was that you said one of the trees took human form and had a conversation with you, and also offered you a bowl of root mush.

If it were me I would think the transforming tree to be some kind of plant spirit, and the fact that it had a conversation with it and it offered you something may mean you either have or are going to form a relationship with this plant spirit.

Also for me the bowl of mush screams ayahuasca....

Perhaps the spirit is telling you to use ayahuasca.

I would think the dream and dmt experience Are connected. It's possible that just having the dmt in your system allowed for you to dream with the plant spirits.

It's also possible the two are connected, but in the same way our experiences every day impact our dreams.

Either way it's clear here is more to be discovered here's!

 

[xexplo]

Also for me the bowl of mush screams ayahuasca....

Perhaps the spirit is telling you to use ayahuasca.

I kinda felt the same... I didn't have any MHRB to make ayahusca, so I took some Pharmahusca.
took a mixture of 150 mgr Haramalas with OJ, waited 10 minutes, took 120 mgr of DMT mixed with Coca-cola. First I thought it didn't work after 1 hour, but it started after 3 hours! and that was weird.

The experience was different from vaping DMT-freebase. In fact, At some points it had the same feelings, times that the trip was about to end or at the first when the main trip was about to start.
But the main trip was totally a different thing. I don't think it's necessary to go trough all the details here.

The point is I had some control over my thoughts and my consciousness. So I was told by some-thing/some-one that the ripe fruit is actually representing my physical body that I'm not taking a good care of, and it has been gifted to me as I've might be asking before coming to this world. While, the second part of the dream was pointing towards my spiritual self that I should also work on.

At the end, my pharamahusca trip was exceptional, I wasn't expecting anything like that.

The problem with me is that I have a really rational mind and I'm always trying to reason with everything and find flaws and problems with any kind of theories, so I really want to ask you a question, do you think these kind of visions and experiences are made up with a mixed-up and confused brain? or what?

 

[xexplo]

My two cents on this is that you have a dark side and a light side. Either side can present itself. Accept both equally. They are both a part of you. It is in my opinion, foolhardy to value the light more than the dark. They both hold lessons. One is hard and terrifying. One is bliss. It is easy to side on the bliss side and discount the terrifying. Sometimes we need to be terrified. Sometimes that is what we need. Shake you from your slumber.

I do agree!

I think every human being has both dark and light side. But the thing is we mostly are not able to see
how our own dark side is looking like....

Maybe that's what psychedelics are for!

 

[xexplo]

Wow, yea it makes sense to me. That's really a great point of view! honestly I wasn't looking at the dream from this perspective. I was looking for links between the dream and the DMT experience.

So do you think is there any link between these two? Or I should look at them from their own perspective?

I myself am not sure about how dreams and DMT experiences relate. I believe that DMT experiences differ fundamentally.

Dreams are a product of the unconsciousness, whereas DMT experiences can be compared to ordinary experiences: they appear to be real.

Thus, a dream is a compensation for, or correction of, events, it want's to point something out to you.

As the DMT experience is seemingly negative and the dream is positive, the dream tells you not to worry. Growth is happening, not despite the negativity, but due to the fact that negativity has been eradicated to a degree (the stuff inside you you vomited out).

By the way: mushed food is for babies

Yea I got your point. But doesn't dreams seems real while we are dreaming? I don't really know if these two phases are different or they are kinda same but one is like being in a car and the other one is like being on a plane ?! I mean both of them help us to move in space, but using different velocities and characteristics.... so is it possible for them to be kinda the same?

And aren't us all babies in this world? we, as a specie, don't know for certain who we are, where are we coming from, where are we going after this life, is there anything like a god or whatever you may call and ..... so many more unanswered questions. So I assume we are all babies :d

 

[xexplo]

There is a shape similarity between the octopus like shapes of what you threw up, in your DMT experience, and the pineapple/dragonfruit like shape of the fruit in your dream. That suggests a transformation, from what you learned you had done wrong, into a palatable self-acceptance.

To me, the pineapple/dragonfruit shaped fruit was not similar to the octopus tentacles at all. Maybe the spikes on fruit made you assume that way.

And for the second part, from what I've experienced recently the offering tree soul, was actually telling me to consume ayahusca :d, so I did try DMT orally. I got answers to my questions and also got lots of other questions in return! But somehow I was able to achieve some kind of skill, now I can see sources of my feelings and emotions and have a better understanding of them...

Thanks for the comment!
Peace.

 

[BecometheOther]

s, so I really want to ask you a question, do you think these kind of visions and experiences are made up with a mixed-up and confused brain? or what?

Not sure if I understand the question, but I would say these experiences have nothing to do with a mixed up confused brain, but rather to do with instinct feeling and non rational thoughts and feelings.

You being so rational as you say it might be kinda like butting heads with the two sides of you he rational and non rational male female right left brain type of thing.

On the contrary I believe not that they confuse your mind but enhance your entire cognitive experience

 

[sbios]

Thanks for sharing! I thought purging/throwing up was possible when taken orally. It's a good idea to have bucket when smoking too!

It sounds like a cleansing experience that will be good for you down the road. :thumb_up:

 

[Jrock]

Based off my experience. I was shown how we are connected to our creator like a branch. Ancient text in the bible discribes "I am the vine, you are rhe branch. If you stay connected to the vine, your life will bear fruit." A quick google search can show you the exact text, but personally I was shown what I was wasting my time filling my mind with and mocked for it. Always any entities who they serve.. Best of luck with your awakenings.