Can you uncover subconscious fear?

[soulfood]

I just came across this in a book I was reading:

"List one fear that has been controlling your life. Once you decide to confront the fear, begin repeating to yourself, "I can handle it. No matter what happens, I will handle it." Keep repeating this mantra until you take action and stop feeling fear.

Well that sounds great, doesn't it?

I've realised that there must be some fear in my life that makes me take less risks because often I make bogus excuses to myself to evade even the smallest opportunity. The thing is I can't for the life of me think of one good reason why. Sometimes it's even more difficult not to do something and yet I don't do it anyway.

From where I'm sitting it seems I'm very anxious about progression, which is contradictory to my usual view of myself because I love change and it has been said by some that I adapt to it quite well. On the most basic terms it seems like I'm punishing myself for something or other.

Why would I do that?

I feel like I've learned so much over the years. When it comes to most life-skills and various talents I certainly bat above the average, but it's not worth it if I can't even cover the basics, i.e. asking for things

 

[universecannon]

I've realised that there must be some fear in my life that makes me take less risks because often I make bogus excuses to myself to evade even the smallest opportunity. The thing is I can't for the life of me think of one good reason why. Sometimes it's even more difficult not to do something and yet I don't do it anyway.

From where I'm sitting it seems I'm very anxious about progression, which is contradictory to my usual view of myself because I love change and it has been said by some that I adapt to it quite well. On the most basic terms it seems like I'm punishing myself for something or other.

One side of us almost vehemently resists change and entering novel situations outside of our comfort zones, which is something we can all probably relate to on some level. Anything outside of routine is almost perceived as a threat to its reality; it grips the familiar tightly and needs things to be nailed down or it gets anxious, even if its just a subconscious anxiety (it actually shields itself from its fears...). It'll sprout any number of illogical excuses to maintain the status quo essentially, and would rather resist change than seek it. The other side of us is virtually the opposite in this regard; actively seeking novel experiences and being well adapted to living in a continuous ever-changing flux without this incessant need for concreteness of routine. The modern data surrounding differences between the brains 2 hemispheres clearly depicts this scenario.

With the help of cannabis or psychedelics- which really bring my subconscious fears to the surface-the hard part for me isn't so much identifying the fears/anxieties, but doing the work to just let them go and heal. But awareness of them can be tricky to, since they tend to drop off the radar once again afterwards unless your persistent about it

 

[soulfood]

So do you think this is possibly an evolutionary trait which stopped captain caveman from marching too far from his cave?

It certainly seems to me, an instinctive pattern as it overrides logic 99% of the time.

Maybe I just need to assure myself that the human race has charter'd the lands outside the cave and painted a pretty picture of man dancing with gazelle?

I do wonder why this instinct seems to cripple some while others at least seem immune to it.

 

[RedThread]

With the help of cannabis or psychedelics- which really bring my subconscious fears to the surface-the hard part for me isn't so much identifying the fears/anxieties, but doing the work to just let them go and heal. But awareness of them can be tricky to, since they tend to drop off the radar once again afterwards unless your persistent about it

How have you personally approached "doing the work" of healing your fears/anxieties (I mean, if it's something you can synopsize a little)?

This whole thing is a sort of looming challenge for me these days... I'm talking about a lot of pretty subtle, early-childhood influence stuff, not crazy trauma, but stuff that's a bit hard to access/understand. I suspect my strong desire to confront these things is also one of the biggest forces that has unconsciously steered my ship back towards psychedelics after a long absence.

 

[anrchy]

From where I'm sitting it seems I'm very anxious about progression, which is contradictory to my usual view of myself because I love change and it has been said by some that I adapt to it quite well.

I have a similar issue. I am a relatively carefree person as far as how others view me. Some part of me however, kicks in a fear of being judged by others which is so strong that I will completely avoid situations that are important to avoid judgement. For example, when I was a kid I was an extremely picky eater. If I was offered some food, even if I was STARVING, I would express that I was not hungry. Out of fear that the food being offered was most likely something I do not like and therefore I would think they would look down at me for being picky.

It certainly seems to me, an instinctive pattern as it overrides logic 99% of the time.

Atleast for me, most of my fears that I have categorized were learned, from experiences that shaped them into my brain. I believe the fear of being judged is from a combination of things. For example, I was told a proverb when I was around 13, "Live your life being a good person, so much so that when you die people will only say good things about you." When I recall the memory of this happening, I feel a sensation of the need to not look bad from other peoples point of view. There were also many many many times where I was told that I was a "**** up", or stupid ect. I believe the brain tries to protect the user but sometimes it can backfire.

How have you personally approached "doing the work" of healing your fears/anxieties (I mean, if it's something you can synopsize a little)?

I actually have outlined steps, although I can't recall them exactly. A rough version would be...

1) Become aware of the issue

2) Become aware of when it happens

3) Observe, observe, observe.

4) Write down the triggers (things that trigger the issue into action)

5) Observe your reaction when you experience a trigger (emotional &/or physical action)

There is a small window between the trigger and your reaction. When working with my anger issues I was able to modify my mental reaction before it happened. This took a lot of practice but most of the time I am able to interrupt the original programmed mental reaction (beginning stage of anger) and replace it with a more positive reaction. Which is then followed by a more positive physical reaction to help reinforce the whole thing. So basically:

Someone smashes my brand new TV and calls me a name. Trigger. Instantly I become aware at this instant (because of constant observing which is now programmed to happen automatically), Override original reaction with a new one (smile in my head, THINK happy thoughts or distract your thinking ect.) Physically react by doing some sort of calm motion (sit down, walk away, say something outloud like "OK well I wish you wouldnt have done that but its ok" )

You would only have to modify this model slightly to work with a wide range of issues that you feel like reprogramming. I am currently trying to do this with a few different fears. Right now I am pretty hesitant to dose DMT. So I am able to create the trigger at any given moment (by thinking about dosing RIGHT NOW) so I can practice interrupting the negative reaction of fear before it happens. The problem with actual fears is its a little more difficult to deal with than anger IMO.

 

[Warrior]

I believe all of our actions are informed/biased by fear. I believe it is evolutionary. And I think all of us on this forum are very strange cats for diving into the abyss. I believe humans are wired to be afraid of psychedelic experiences that dissolve what we know of the human consensus world. I think that might be what serotonin evolved to do--block out extraneous information.

We all live by diversion tactics and cognitive dissonance about our life decisions. It's really a fascinating thing to step back from and observe as an ongoing thing. I think it's important to accept the fact this happens and not be judgmental to yourself. Start by sensing and being aware of it. It's the only way. It's a hard thing to force.

 

[RedThread]

anrchy - Your thoughts make a lot of sense and sound similar to what I've heard from a cognitive behavioral therapy framework. Maybe I'll try actually writing down and working with a couple of specifically triggering situations.

Warrior - I find it hard to parse what's what when it comes to wiring vs deep cultural conditioning, haha. Like, you mentioned the "human consensus world"... and I feel like since that's more of a construct--the opposite of wiring--then maybe us cats are using psychedelics because we want to reconnect to our original nature. In other words, maybe we are actually totally wired for dissolving the ego / "human consensus world" / etc.

 

[Warrior]

[...]
Warrior - I find it hard to parse what's what when it comes to wiring vs deep cultural conditioning, haha. Like, you mentioned the "human consensus world"... and I feel like since that's more of a construct--the opposite of wiring--then maybe us cats are using psychedelics because we want to reconnect to our original nature. In other words, maybe we are actually totally wired for dissolving the ego / "human consensus world" / etc.

I completely agree with this sentiment. But then why is it only some tiny little minority of nonconformists whom decide life as a psychonaut and ancestral operating modes of existence are better and worth exploring? Why does it seem the majority of people prefer to cower from fears by tuning out curiosity of the world at large?

My vote is currently on the too-much-information theory of why the brain discards and modulates the flow of sensory information. Fear acts like a gatekeeper/dam to the flow of sensory information in the CNS. We sense that process as fear.

So where did the fear come from? I think the answer to this might reveal itself if we could identify when and how serotonin came to be in the history of eukaryotic life.

/rant

Peace and Love!