soul-explorer
Rising Star
Yesterday evening I dosed about 60mg oral hash. A very paranoid experience.
Now I don't wanna mark this as purely negative, I do think there's something to be learned here.
I believe that these are fears that do exist in me and are manifesting as paranoia.
Looking back it seems like my demon(s) or inner child or Shadow Content (however this could be called) was doing a lot of the talking in my head. These are things I'm currently trying to integrate and that can cause a lot of fear/resistance/suffering in my day to day life. Mostly centered around social anxiety, fearing people and relationships.
In daily life however, it's rare to become as acute or "raw".
This was not a really pleasant experience, and some of the conclusions I made during it just seem wrong now. Nevertheless it seems to be an interesting way to better access my fears/demons and understand what they're saying.
It also made me re-assess my Enneagram Type and to what extent fear might play a role in my day to day life. I think it also pointed me to a blindspot I'm having, a kind of black and white thinking -- often seeing people as either only good or only bad, but not so much (probably more realistic ) as a mixture of both.
Now I don't wanna mark this as purely negative, I do think there's something to be learned here.
I believe that these are fears that do exist in me and are manifesting as paranoia.
Looking back it seems like my demon(s) or inner child or Shadow Content (however this could be called) was doing a lot of the talking in my head. These are things I'm currently trying to integrate and that can cause a lot of fear/resistance/suffering in my day to day life. Mostly centered around social anxiety, fearing people and relationships.
In daily life however, it's rare to become as acute or "raw".
This was not a really pleasant experience, and some of the conclusions I made during it just seem wrong now. Nevertheless it seems to be an interesting way to better access my fears/demons and understand what they're saying.
It also made me re-assess my Enneagram Type and to what extent fear might play a role in my day to day life. I think it also pointed me to a blindspot I'm having, a kind of black and white thinking -- often seeing people as either only good or only bad, but not so much (probably more realistic ) as a mixture of both.