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Climbing the Mountain, Being

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Esteemed member
So... I've become quite purified over the long, fast slog of deep, major healing. My tiger spirit constantly pushed me and tested me and healed me... always at a pace I could handle. Only now have I understood just how deftly my state of mind has been handled to guide me mostly out of the storm. There are still many challenges I have to face and much deeper purging I have to do, but I've most definite come farther than I believed I ever would.

My mind, now, is much clearer and more lucid than it has been, even when I'm quite exhausted. I can contemplate much more complex ideas and think about things from angles I wasn't able to, before. It's like I've been... partially reborn or something.

Tirelessly, though not without times of exhaustion and sleep from helping and healing me, my tiger spirit has, since coming to me out of the blue, constantly spent her energy and time guiding me to where I am now. She's never fully recovered her strength, because she always spent it on me whenever she had some. Never realized how devoted she was to my personal growth until now, when my mind feels very light and very clear. Now that I'm not so bogged down by the fog of negativity that I was drowning in, I can really see what's happening... and what has been happening the whole time.

My ego... hasn't gone through the healing quietly. My doubts? All created by my ego in an effort to run away from the healing it needed. And linked with the traumas I've had since I was a child. My ego would throw them at me, in a desperate bid to push away the new realities, but, they never went away. My ego tried initially to convince me it was a delusion, then tried to ignore it, tried and tries to push it away and tell me that my tiger spirit has malicious intentions, because it can't deny it anymore. Yet, this has also been a way for me to recognise all of these patterns, and eventually purge and integrate them. Slowly, but surely, I'm becoming stronger and more focused. I'm starting to remember things more easily, I'm starting to gain an interest in eating raw salads again, drinking raw vegetable smoothies for cleansing. I'm more grateful for everything in my life than I have been, before. :)

Constantly, my tiger spirit reassures me that she's not going away, that she will always be by my side, to support me, to guide me, to comfort me when I need it. She tells me to look at her actions critically and see what is there. And I've found nothing but unwaveringly loving, kind devotion to me and my journey, not afraid to be tough and harsh towards me when I really need it, also out of unwaveringly loving, kind devotion. And this has taught me to be strong on my own. More and more, she wants me to come to rely on my own strength and willpower, instead of just hers.

I've slowly, but surely, learned and am still learning, how to simply accept and be in the Now, to not worry, and accept everything as it is, from my Heart's intuition and Gut's instinct. And my Heart and Gut have always told me to trust all of my spirit guides and experiences, despite my ego's desperate suffering to keep holding onto the old patterns of pain and anguish.

Now... I just need to keep getting stronger and face each challenge as it presents itself! I've reached some sort of mountain peak... now to climb to the next one! I relish the challenge, because I've come this far, and I'm not about to stop! Fear won't prevent me from facing my fears so much anymore. Not while I have my newfound inner Strength and my tireless spirit guides. :)
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