Cocoon of cosmic love

[humanbeing]

In the past I got very distinct experiences with vaped spice. Most of the time they were unpleasant sub-breakthroughs. I got headaches or pain in the chest from it. Or the experiences were very chaotic and utterly weird, like a group of women appeared in my room and threw dogs at me while screaming “dogs, dogs, dogs”. Or I fell on the ground and got laughed at by a group of people because I couldn't move. I think these experiences reflected my restless mindset then. Couldn't learn much from it.

But I won't forget one experience were I vaped some crystals on the comedown of ketamine. My body instantly got in a fetal position. I started stroking my body without having control of it. I couldn't help but smile. Smile about being myself, smile about being part of the universe. It was like being in a cocoon of cosmic love. Warmth and light flew through my body. Amrita spread in my mouth and I was at peace with the world.

My last journey was very disturbing and I decided to stop using spice for some month after. I was rolling on MDMA and vaped 20 mg of clear white crystals. Without transition I was in hyperspace. But this place was like nothing I had seen before. It was a colorful room of weird objects moving hectically. I couldn't make any sense of it. The room changed all the time and the scenery got weirder and weirder. I felt like I was trapped in an alien computer circuit like in the movie Tron. I couldn't remember that I have smoked spice so I thought that I must have died and am in the bardo between life and death. My ego was scattered in thousand pieces and I couldn't find my body. I started panicking and thought that I am trapped there forever. Time wasn't existent and I had to watch at this weird stuff for ages. Gradually my body was puzzled back together and I woke up in my bed thankful that I'm still alive.
This was my first and last time traveling to hyperspace while intoxicated by a phenethylamine. It felt like my body and mind wasn't clean enough for hyperspace.

Love and peace

 

[Infectedstyle]

Hey, thanks for sharing. Good that you decided to quit doing DMT if it is not comfortable for you.

What i see here is that you started worrying about your body. Well, i never have this before. Not even in complete loss of reality (With one exception for salvia). I always know my body is intact sitting in lotus position. I can open my eyes, i did it once when it was coming on strong. Nothing changed except for a little ripple in the space where my eyes are supposed to be.

But my eyes definitely opened! These are not things to be afraid of. Seeing women throw dogs at me and screaming. Now that is the sort of thing that would scare me with DMT. I am impressed that that hasn't stopped you from doing DMT long ago.

I do not think the phenethylamines has had anything to do with having a bad experience. Your last experience sounds rather good apart from making bad associations which ultimately lead to a negative experience.

The drugs does strike to me as a symbol of how you might be approaching DMT. Approaching DMT with casual curiousity is rarely a good thing imo. Since it has the ability to shake you to the very core.

My guess is that you work up the courage to do it without taking any other substance beforehand. With clear intentions as to why you are taking the substance. If you don't have a clear picture as to why you are doing it. DON'T DO IT. If you do decide to do it, i would suggest having a good ritual beforehand. Like meditating, a shower, incense perhaps. If it is one of those pointless sub-breakthroughts. Give it up completely or come back when you're ready. But it looks to me like you are finally getting somewhere with the spice.

I wonder if you can get something positive from your last experience anyhow. Like, doesn't the aesthetic beauty of the place you visited looks rather interesting now you aren't diving in it head first without dabbling ur toes first to make sure you won't die once you start swimming. Or something..

 

[humanbeing]

The last one was hard to integrate as I can't remember that much of it. I think the problem was, apart from unclear intentions, that I did not surrender to the experiences and tried to make sense of it. But I truly learned from it and it made me approach DMT with more respect and cleared intentions. Most of the time I only did some breathing exercises and launched the GVG out of curiosity. Can't imagine to do it that way anymore. My heart even starts beating faster when I think of it. Sacred medicine should be used at sacred time.

Salvia is another story. This one was always very painful and terrifying for me, almost feels like the physical body is being attacked. On the last journeys I just stuck in the wall and couldn't move. Don't like the unpleasent body load that persists after the trip.