Right, and if your hiding something form your partner because you can, when he/she fully trusts you, you are taking advantage of that trust & therefor not worthy of it! That stuff adds up exponentially & it will eventually blow up in your face.
It's not a matter of wanting to own somebody or every thought in their mind, it's the other side entirely!!
It's wanting to give yourself completely to that other person, unselfishly!! Not just taking from that person when & what you can.
Seeing things from their point of view, not because they force it (that's just selfish on their part), but because you want to make them happy, for them.
It's disrespectful because your trying to hide something from someone you are calling your partner, possession(s) has nothing to do with it. It's all about equality...
Yes, these is no difference there, it's still creating gaps in the trust, no matter what the action is.
And I'm not being hard on Art, I have a ton of respect for what he posted!! I think his decision was incredibly mature.
Not just thinking of how his DMT use is effect him alone, right here & now. But realizing that he has a partner who deserves his total honesty & a child who deserves everything he can give!!!!
And how having a secret past time might not physically hurt either of them today, but how this kind of thing grows like a fungus into the fucked up relationships that are so goddamn common anymore!!
I'm hard your idea that he should think of only himself & how his wife's beliefs are fucking up his good time!!
The thing is, he is not alone in this world anymore, he made the decision to have a partner to share himself & his life's experiences with and a child who is not able to support or protect himself & should now come first, before even his own enjoyment.
Of course this is only my opinion, but I think the current state of divorce & the kids shooting up schools & the whole "I'm so much more important than everyone else" attitude, is proof enough that kids are not getting the right kind of support & discipline at home, from their parents.
This does not mean that a married couple has to be together every second, do everything together, or even agree on everything. It just means that if your partner is opposed to something you enjoy, rather than keep doing it in secret, you need to take stock of your priorities & figure out if you want to smoke DMT by yourself, or spend your life with the person you love.
If you truly are in love with this person, you wouldn't want to keep doing something that would make them feel this way, just as much as they shouldn't want to keep you from something you deeply enjoy! Thinking of the other person on the same level of importance as yourself is key to staying with someone for any serious length of time.
Anyway, I feel it needs to be said that from what I've read here, you seem to be very concerned with what you can get from others, or what they might be able to take from you. Most people I know who think this way are much more manipulative than they think they are. As they justify every action by trying to teach everyone something, or they are always subconsciously looking for their due, in every situation.
Only getting that from your statements here though.
I find it incredibly interesting how you relate being generous & polite to being a martyr.
Granted, there are those people out there, but at least in my local, I do not feel this is more common than just being polite to be polite... BTW I live in a large city, plenty of jerks around...
Most people get their perception of other people's actions from they're own thought processes, during their own actions.
Thinking that other people do things for the same reasons as themselves & must be thinking the same thing that they would, while doing these things.
So do you yourself act polite to others, just to get credit for it?
One last thing, DMT is a drug, you may use it is a spiritual way, but it is a chemical that when added to your body in relatively large amounts, causes a change in body or mind. Right? So is heroin or crack!!
Now I personally think there is a huge difference between narcotics & psychedelics.
But once again, gotta look at things from more than just your personal point of view to get a full picture. Whether or not it's morally correct, is not the issue, not everyone cares about using psychedelics & to most of those who have no experience with drugs there is no difference!! This is because of the way the Gov't has forced their bullshit about drugs on society.
But I have to assume (or hope) that Art is married with children because his life consists of more than just using & researching psychedelics.
So to muddy up the waters of his marriage & demonize his partner for not being hip to the drug scene, is like throwing away your car, because the cigarette lighter doesn't work.
Now if using drugs, whether psychedelic or otherwise, is your whole life, then you'd better find a partner who shares your ideals in the first place, or it's never going to work anyway!
BTW, I think it's great that you know exactly what Jesus would think & do in that situation.
WS
