What I meant here is that they should trust you not to do anything that would harm them.  THAT'S trust.  Wanting to know every detail is controlling, even suspicious.  He's not harming anyone smoking DMT, so he's alright with me.

My view of the situation (as I've already explained but I feel you're not listening) is that he shouldn't really be hiding this from her seeing as he's doing it every night, but I don't judge him for it, because DMT is not something that should be forbidden so she is also wrong to forbid him it.

I have a friend who takes mescaline and DMT with SWIM when he visits (about every month or so), and he doesn't tell his wife because he doesn't think she'd understand.  I'm cool with that, because it's not harmful to take these two enteogens, actually they've had a healthy effect on me, and studies confirm this.  If his wife's phobic of these sacraments then that's her problem, she's more unreasonable.  Sure it'd be better if he just explained to her that it's harmless, but that's his choice to make, not mine.  I'd never be in his situation anyway because I personally wouldn't go out with a girl who would deny me that which doesn't hurt her (I've learnt from that mistake).

What if she was a hypochondriac, and told him he HAD to wash his hands after urinating?  He knew that she was being irrational, because your penis has the least germs on it, and even if you did piss on them somehow- urine is sterile, unlike your hands which are crawling with germs!  Wouldn't you agree that it's no big deal if he tells her he washes them, but often doesn't bother?  Sure, it'd be better if he helped her get over her ridiculous phobia, but maybe she's not ready to accept she needs to, maybe he thinks it's easier to have a little secret.  He accepts HER unreasonableness and humours it, because he loves her.  I know this may trivialise it in some people's eyes, but this wouldn't sound trivial if you WERE a hypochondriac.  Just as his secret smoking WOULD sound trivial to her if she used to be a DMT-head but never told him about that little chapter in her life.

IF you want to DEMAND complete ownership of all the memories, feelings and every action of your spouse, that's fine, go and find someone equally controlling to marry you.  But don't force your concept of what makes a healthy relationship onto everyone else!  I won't deny my wife her little secrets.  I think little secret pleasures can be very healthy and rewarding, saving some people from that feeling of being 'trapped' in a relationship.

In the grander scheme of things, we come into this world alone, and we leave alone.  Drink life.  As long as you don't harm others, you have the right to drink.  Or, deny yourself, if that's what you enjoy.  Me, I'm going to drink.  And I'll find someone to love who likes to drink from the same cup, rather than mismatch myself with a controlling type.

I'm not going to address your other points, because I did that last time but you didn't seem to have really thought about what I'm saying.  I say this because you're making some really puzzling assumptions about me.  In your eyes I'm Mr Take-take-take, which is beyond me.  I get the feeling you've already made up your mind that I'm an 'asshole', and you're going to carry on just skim reading my posts for bits to pick at and opportunities to repeat yourself.  Or you're trying to save face, or just fancy an argument.  I don't know.  Let's just agree to disagree, because I don't think this argument is going anywhere.

Let's ask everyone else instead.  Am I an 'asshole'?!