Confronting The Rage Monster. Unlocking it's true identity.

[aleph 1ne]

I took several huge hits from my Freshly filled Volcano bag. I used Some 14x caapi leaf and blue lotus as a bed for the spice. The effects took longer than normal to kick in. I had time to get comfortable before the ride began. It started with a red background laced with black fractals. Stunning, as usual. I noticed green out of the corner of my eye and when I looked to that direction, the scene changed to a bright, over saturated outdoor environment. I was on a path in some kind of park. Everything had a bubbly, cartoon like feel to it. Streetlights and trees all bent and leaned in unique ways, as if portraying personality. Before I could take any more in than that, IT happened.

I could suddenly sense eyes on me, and instantly felt cold. The lighting changed and the scene in front of me began to spin and compress into a huge ball in front of me. It was as if something with huge mass had crushed what would have been my lovely, happy trip, into an awful ugly mess.

As my experience dangled, spinning in front of me, I noticed a small crack running through it. The thought " A way in" came to me and so, in I went. At the core was the strangest and most primitive looking entity I've come across. He looked like a childs drawing of a ghost with zebra stripes. The stripes were thin and jagged. His face was menacing, even though it was so simple in appearance. I began to look around in the ball when Voices all around me started saying "no, look at him. He wants you to look at him" So look at him I did. At his naval, there was a very small point. As soon as my eyes met it, I was screwed.
It began to Vibrate violently and instantly I was pushed beyond my wits and blacked out completely. However long later, I came back to and there he was. I had no control this time. He moved in a way that lined my eyes with his naval and again I was pushed to my limits. This time I fought it a bit. I haven't had to concentrate to that extent for anything in my life. It was truly as if my life depended on it. Again, I faltered and completely blanked out. When I came to, I didn't know who I was or that I was or what was happening. Complete ego death. I did however recognize that naval!! For the third time I was torpedoed with violent vibration. A distinct ringing sound accompanied the assault. Terrifying. For the third time I blacked out. Again, when I awoke I had no clue about anything. However, this time I was not confronted with this rage monster. Instead I was in a mist. Different shades of green emanated from seemingly nowhere. I was being told something but could not focus on the words. The feelings were more clear. It felt like that went on for eternity. I felt healed and relaxed. The green mist had given me an emotional massage, and an emotionally charged lesson.


The lesson was in regards to the nature of Entities. I don't if it meant all entities or just some.. I had the impression it was referring to all.. This entity specifically, the Rage Monster, was a program within my subconscious mind. My parents have the same program or maybe their own slight variation of it.. So many of us have it to differing degrees. Its a part of the human condition. The idea that entities actually symbolize programs running within us... It made more sense than anything I had hypothesized about the dmt experience. And some programs are learned, some even invented by us. But then there are old programs. Ones that are inherent in the human condition. There are cultural/social programs. All running in the background of each human mind, varying slightly between cultures.. The reason some people see the same things and similar entities is simply because of similar lifestyles, cultures and life lessons. And because of their shared human experience. Individual as it may be. There are so many implications here that I could touch on.

The main one being that this is how the real work can get done. At least for me. i can take things like "rage monster" and bring it into my conscious experience, instead of letting it run on autopilot as a subconscious script. Since my experience, which has been about 2 months now, I can feel when I am about to get frustrated or angry before I actually feel that way. I'm not much of a hot head, but things get to me that probably shouldn't and I can now get a grip on that. I can also see that Rage monster wind up in other people. That feeling of push and pull simultaneously.. Its so fast acting. That's why anger often seems irrational to those not effected by it. Seeing it allows you to not react to it. look at it but don't become it. And don't let it overcome you!!! haha.

It also removes any fear of entities for me. They're already there doing their thing. Whatever thing that may be. If I don't like what they're doing, I can bring it in to the light and work on it.

If My interpretation is correct, oh the implications!! haha. That we are only looking in at our own gears and cogs. The conscious mind meeting its supermassive counterpart. Of course it would look so spectacular and alien and familiar at once. Of course it would be exciting and terrifying and uncomfortable and exasperating.. We think we know ourselves.. lol. But when confronted with ourselves we feel wholly insignificant and clueless.. But Maybe that's the point here. I mean the big point. To bring these hidden facets of the human condition into the light of consciousness.

Anyway. What a wonderful experience, Rage monster and all. haha. even if it's all hogwash and I was just trippin.
Happy Travels.

 

[Infectedstyle]

Na man. You and me both know this is not just bull-shit. What you say coincides exactly with my belief system. And what I experience in myself and at times in others. On top of that, I was briefed by someone, just a person, who does NOT do dmt. That he experiences this exact 'rage monster'-type relationship in his dreams and spiritual explorations. This in turn got me thinking...

The way you describe a lesson learnt on the nature of the entity-program in you and your parents also coincides with my perspective. I am glad to see someone actually saying it loud and clear. I think it is very likely the bigger part of us that is evolving on some other dimension. But the reality to it's perspective seems to me to be a very real mystery. Perhaps just a program? But to me it seems more like a compagnion than anything else.

Maybe the Matrix is a good example :roll:
Agent smith is a program in the Matrix. But he sure as hell acts like a sentient being (Whose goal happens to be to genocide the human race). Who can blame him. He said he acted out of his own sentience and hatred towards humanity. Even though he is just a robot.

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

Great write up! This goes in line with one of my theories as well.
To sum it up:
I often wonder if hyperspace is like an interactive library within the universal consciousness. We go in, we experience some things that others have seen, we bring our own intent and ideas with us (other people might experience one of your experiences one day, manifested in a way that relate to them). We view information and contribute. Some of us are confronted with archetypal-like entities which are manifested in ways that we are able to relate to our lives. Some just see geometry, the interactment and messages appear to coincide in many cases.

Why does an individual go to a library? To learn? To study? For fun? For inspiration? To better the self? Free the mind? I bet there are a lot of reasons.

 

[Akasha224]

Excellent read, brother. Sounds terrifying, but fruitful indeed. I've never tried vaporizing Caapi - how different of an effect does it have? Usually I put the DMT on a bed of Cannabis, but lately, I've been having trouble remembering the experience and want to try something different.

Anyway, I agree with your interpretation as well. The way I've always seen is that DMT allows you to sort of go outside of your body and observe your own habits and compulsions. There have been times where I've come down from a journey and have said to myself "Am I REALLY like that?" or, "Do I REALLY do that?" I like the imagery you used, mentioning gears and cogs, because that's what habits and compulsions really are: things you have no control over (unless you know they exist; DMT is one way of discovering this), running automatically like machine that has no will or power over its actions...but we are sentient, in control of our destinies and our actions. Sometimes you just need a kick in the ass to remind you. 8)

 

[aleph 1ne]

Infectedstyle: Thanks for the affirmation, my friend. The matrix analogy is cool. Even though they are potentially programs within the human psyche, I think they are still sentient and evolving on their own. I don't think they are parasitic however, though some who are unwanted may seem that way. But there is a sense of symbiosis between theirs and our own existence. I want to point out that I subscribed to the exact opposite way of thinking about entities before this. It was a hard and heavy revelation for me to come to. Like I said, I've been mauling this over for the last couple months. I am preparing to venture again soon, so I thought getting this out would help me to really get my head around it. Your comments are of great help. Thanks.

AcaciaConfusedyea: i like the library metaphor. Like the idea of akashic records in a way. But I think the environment I enter when I do it is specifically my own mind. These programs are also completely my own. It just so happens that similar programs run in others. Some run in all of us. So I am not sure that it's a group conscious- super ego type thing thats happening. But aspects of the total human experience are always present. The geometry, for example may be our connection to others. or rather the information that we are constantly sharing through means not yet scientifically defined. It's what your overall feeling about life looks like. What you are projecting.. Just an idea anyway. Some people don't ever get past that part. Maybe they are at odds with their world view and that is what hinders them. Maybe it's not a hindrance at all!!

Akasha224: Thanks for your words. I used to use Cannabis for a bed also, but found the same thing. Hard to remember and things often where more wild and spinning/out of control. I extract 14g of caapi leaf onto 1 gram and use that mixed with Blue lotus with much success. The Caapi slows things down a bit and makes the trip more sensible and guided feeling. I often feel slightly detached from the experience with Caapi too, which allows me to not get caught in the awe or struck with fear to the point of discomfort. It doesn't seem to diminish the happy good vibes at all though, so the detachment is really in favour of the experience. The lotus seems to brighten everything up even more if that's possible!!! haha. I'd reccomend it for vaping. Also, you nailed it. Bringing things into the light of consciousness, aka being aware of things allows you power over them. It's the things we don't know about that end up running us into the ground. A welcomed kick in my ass. haha.

Thanks for the input and feedback all. I love this community. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how out there my experience is, there are many who can relate so intimately. Many blessings.

 

[Whatis]

I think Eckhart Tolle is talking about the Rage Monster here:

xx

 

[aleph 1ne]

I think Eckhart Tolle is talking about the Rage Monster here:

xx

yes. haha. Similar vein of thought.

 

[Akasha224]

Akasha224: Thanks for your words. I used to use Cannabis for a bed also, but found the same thing. Hard to remember and things often where more wild and spinning/out of control. I extract 14g of caapi leaf onto 1 gram and use that mixed with Blue lotus with much success. The Caapi slows things down a bit and makes the trip more sensible and guided feeling. I often feel slightly detached from the experience with Caapi too, which allows me to not get caught in the awe or struck with fear to the point of discomfort. It doesn't seem to diminish the happy good vibes at all though, so the detachment is really in favour of the experience. The lotus seems to brighten everything up even more if that's possible!!! haha. I'd reccomend it for vaping.

What do you mean when you say you extract it onto 1 gram? Are you referring to changa? I originally thought you meant that you just put the caapi right into the vaporizer.

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

I've often wondered if the body is like a computer. When you buy a brand new laptop, it usually comes with a few factory presets. As time passes and the owner uses a computer, more information is stored, gathered and added.
You might be saying that you are viewing your own presets, or ones that you've specifically added, where I often spend more time surfing the web.... Perhaps?
Maybe a better comparison?

I had an experience the other day that was too weird to not think that this molecule can be used to link up with other people.

 

[aleph 1ne]

What do you mean when you say you extract it onto 1 gram? Are you referring to changa? I originally thought you meant that you just put the caapi right into the vaporizer.

I think the term used for what I am talking about is "Refined Leaf".. I take 14 g of caapi leaf and boil it 3x like making ayahuasca. Then reduce to a very small amount and let it evaporate on to one gram of caapi leaf. I don't add the dmt to it for saturation like Changa. I use the refined leaf for a bed. So yes. Your original thought was correct. Sorry for the confusion. Using this technique, my average dip into hyperspace lasts approx 18-20 mins. I've had experiences as short as 4 mins at the same time but those are always the most vivid and bizarre, and always come with wild after glow effects. I've also had experiences closer to the 40 min mark. Deep Rabbit hole adventures. haha. Refined leaf and the Volcano are the key to my method. But I'm still working on it. I've also brewed 50 of caapi vine into 1 g of leaf with much success. It's wonderful to just smoke on it's own also. but vaporizing is better as it doesn't seem to burn all that well. The taste when vaping is much better also.


@AcaciaConfusedYah - I can relate all too well. Actually, I think Terrence McKenna has a rant about just that. Might be someone else.. In either case that's it. Presets. Programs. You download consumerism 1.4 upload feminism 2.2 so on.. haha. I've had a couple shared experiences, myself - and seen many kinds of strange. But by no means do i have anything figured out. haha. But if this interpretation can help me, or anyone to absolve inner frustrations or work past emotional blocks or reset some presets (haha) I think it's fair to say that the molecule has done it's job. Every time I think I know what this stuff is all about, it shows me otherwise.

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

I have recently had an experience that really went in line with some of the things mentioned in this post.

It gives me a new perspective on how useful this molecule can be to improve the self.

I had a day of reflection, yesterday. When I have these days, I usually try to address some aspects of the self and "upgrade/reboot/repair" some of my programs.

 

[Jees]

Good topic, I too believe in the introspective aspect.
In the deep pharma experiences, it looks as if the programs (or installments) are not only exposed but also that they loose their glue, IMO.
As if their tentacles must loose grip into our deepest being.
Maybe not fully at once, but each time a bit more and more.
As if they are caught in the act by spotlight which reveals their doing.
They operate in the background dark, pulling strings from there, secretly.
The ceremonies throwing light upon that all.
Are they in really in charge, or need us desperately to remain?
Personal work for sure, but also extending to collective due inter connection.
Disclosure & un-installment.
Hah!
:thumb_up:

 

[aleph 1ne]

Good topic, I too believe in the introspective aspect.
In the deep pharma experiences, it looks as if the programs (or installments) are not only exposed but also that they loose their glue, IMO.
As if their tentacles must loose grip into our deepest being.
Maybe not fully at once, but each time a bit more and more.
As if they are caught in the act by spotlight which reveals their doing.
They operate in the background dark, pulling strings from there, secretly.
The ceremonies throwing light upon that all.
Are they in really in charge, or need us desperately to remain?
Personal work for sure, but also extending to collective due inter connection.
Disclosure & un-installment.
Hah!
:thumb_up:

Thanks for the input, my friend. You're right in line with how I'm feeling about it all.

I've always had this perspective about life in general. For example.... The first time I rode a skateboard, I could do all kids of tricks!! It was very natural for me. But as I dedicated myself more to it, that "beginners luck" faded and I had to commit to the technique through awareness of what I was doing, specifically.. Once in my awareness, it is no longer luck. At that point, I'm in full control.
the light of an undisciplined conscious mind is narrow and so much can get past it. One can get ensnared by the archetypes and instalments of our environment so easily. I think that's what the psychedelics and various spiritual practices are doing for us. Widening and broadening the body of conscious light, if you will. Both internally and externally.

I also feel like, once something is pulled into the light of awareness, a conscious effort has to be made to keep it there. That has been the most difficult part of integrating this last trip for me. Now I am aware of the rage monster in me and if i don't want him to take the reigns, I have to keep him in mind. Keep him unglued and unraveled.

The one thing I'm still pondering heavily is this idea of possession. It seems there are many who believe that things like DMT can open you up to nasty entities and parasitic beings and things of that nature. What if there is nothing in hyperspace that isn't already in you? Those that feel like they have been possessed in some form, are really just meeting that part of themselves, first hand, for the first time. Now that it's in your awareness, you must take responsibility for it and dissolve it. I could see how one could feel tormented and fearful if they were in denial of their dark side. It seems to resonate with me, but the possibility that one could meet something wholly alien from themselves is still as plausible as anything else, I suppose.