Here is the first draft of my experience report(s) offering for the Nexian; any editing or helpful suggestions are quite welcome 
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For the last 12 years, I have been experimenting with psychedelics/entheogens on a semi-regular basis. My use is most always intentional, even if my dose is taken in a party setting. In my journeys, each experience has a certain degree of novelty or uniqueness, especially surrounding the peak vision/message. There are certainly trends and commonalities among all psychedelic experience, no doubt, but I have found it uncommon in my lifetime for two or three or several trips to be filled with the same central imagery and characters. That is precisely what makes this chain of experiences stand out in my mind and in my life, and why I want to relate them. Piecing this intro together has been challenging, so I will try to sum it up in a single sentence:
Most usually, the expanded space is recognizable but the precise themes of each entheogenic experience are wildly unique and different; I experienced a string of experiences that all had common themes and an unusual level of similarity, overlap, and the repeated appearance of a cosmic jester-like entity. This lack of novelty is in itself novel to me. Let us explore that together as I relay my experiences.
Around a year ago, I extracted my first DMT and started using the substance more earnestly in my practice and meditation (and also for fun). I would say that my third or fourth experience with my own spice was when this chain of tales began. I would roughly place that date around June 2023.
Before performing my own extraction, I had experimented with DMT a couple of times, but my primary entheogen of choice has always been LSD. Because of this, I have always found a special level of intrigue reading DMT trip reports. In my reading, I have come to realize that many many individuals encounter jester like entities. I frequently wonder if my prior knowledge of the possibility of meeting this particular entity helped to elicit a connection with them or an experience of them.
There are four key experiences in this story; two DMT experiences, followed by an LSD experience, and concluded by a DMT experience. The exact timeline is very hazy. The personal novelty of the events is not. Let us begin chronologically.
As I mentioned previously, this first experience was my third or fourth time ingesting spice I had extracted myself. It is worth drawing special attention to the last trip report I read before consuming the first dose in this sequence of experiences. It was a somewhat mixed DMT report in which the individual was faced with a cosmic jester entity who branded their tongue, a feeling they physically experienced, which was followed by a series of difficult visions. The reporter noted their lack of surrender to the experience on the whole, which likely elicited this experience for them. Regardless, this story was fresh in my mind.
It was a rather peaceful evening. My partner (Bee) and I had been smoking pot, eating snacks, just relaxing on the couch after dinner. She drifted off. While I sat there reading, I felt the call to dose, so I did.
I loaded approx 20mg of freebase DMT into my (already caked) Yocan vaporizer. I was feeling quite serene and optimistic, so chose to adventure without music - something I hadn’t done before.
I decided to titrate my dose. The first two inhales were short. I enjoyed the usual comforting body experience and let the waves of peace roll over me. I let myself be limp on the couch. Sweet serene expanded peace…
The third inhale was large. Truthfully, I wasn’t anticipating the level of intensity the third hit delivered unto me, and it was simultaneously jarring and pleasant to be surprised in this way.
With the absence of music, the sounds of the running dishwasher, which were quiet and mellow before, became stretched, as it were, through time. Bubbles, burbles, squelches and pops all slid up through my ears as my vision began to vibrate as if I was passing rapidly through a tunnel with interspersed lights. I closed my eyes and took the ride!!
As I closed my eyes, the carrier wave began to rise up in my consciousness. A gentle ringing like a mindfulness bell in the distance…
My inner vision began to take on red and blue hues, which intermingled and began to become a more complex pattern of fractal squares. The deeper vision opened up as if out of a folded box, or as if a cosmic frame was suddenly held before me, inside of which my visions unfolded.
Initially I beheld pillars and stone blocks with indescribable colors. There were some symbols I couldn’t (care to) identify on some of the blocks. The pillars and blocks both were prismatic and self luminous yet also possessing definite and certain hues, which changed and shimmered as I watched. Suddenly the vision began to take on a certain mechanical aesthetic, and a robotic head arose out of the ground (?) of the space I was viewing. It was a small round head, with a big comic smile, and a 3-tipped jester hat.
Instantly remembering that trip I report, I was startled by the sudden appearance of this face/entity, and upon feeling this sudden sense of surprise, I repeated my mantra aloud (at least I think it was aloud), at which point the jester head rotated, to show that the other side of his head was none other than the face of the deity associated with my mantra.
Seeing the effect of the mantra on my vision was profound and impactful. I immediately felt secure again. The experience soon began to fade and I laughed out loud, allowing myself to gracefully descend from the expanded state. I remember cognizing that, at this time, this had been the most intense DMT experience I had ever had. This was also the first time I felt a definite sense of fear in relation to my DMT vision, and feel strongly that the prior impression of that other person’s experience indeed colored my own experience in that moment.
Two weeks pass. It is a lazy, sunny afternoon at home with Bee. I decide that it is an ideal time to dose, as I had been feeling the call on and off since my last experience. I decide to “take it easy” and aim for a low dose of ~15mg.
As I sit and focus on my breathing, I notice an undeniable feeling of apprehension. I am concerned I will meet the Jester entity again, and potentially live through an uncomfortable experience. I do my best to let it go.
I am seated on the floor and lean back against the couch as I take my (first) inhale. As I’m holding the hit I am aware I didn’t get all of the spice. I let myself slowly exhale and settle into the space….
So far so good. Typical low dose bliss and comfort. My attitude is positive. I grab the vaporizer again to finish my dose. As I am taking my second inhale, my feeling of apprehension returns.
I exhale, an my fuzzy low dose visuals begin to solidify a bit, very similarly to when one is seated upright and begins dozing off to sleep, having short little “micro dreams”. I see a Jester seated on a series of 3 large wooden blocks, much like in a classic children’s toy set. He smiles at me and my apprehension intensifies. My fear of uncomfortable visions begins to precipitate exactly that. Strange faces with mangled teeth, hardly-human entities with unsettling visages. In this moment I let myself breath and acknowledged how I had fed this energy in my experience. I appreciated that I had gone for a low dose and that my visuals were relatively undefined and non-vivid. I opened my eyes for a moment to try and pull out, but quickly decided to man up and simply face the experience head on and let go of my unreasonable fear.
While this experience wasn’t very enjoyable, it was a great teacher. The “band-aide” of the possibility of a difficult set of visions had been ripped off, and was admittedly not as bad as I had imagined such an experience to be. I am sure I have the humble size of my dose to partly thank for that. It was also worth noting that the jester character had been smiling before the difficult visions set in, and that they didn’t arise until my emotional response of fear came up.
I spent a couple weeks digesting this experience before I consumed any more entheogens.
As time passed, I felt like I understood the message that was there for me in that particular experience, and began prospecting my next dose. The moment of destiny would be a wonderful EDM event; Chef B, Veil, Truth, and Boogie T on the 140 warriors tour were playing in my city at our newest and largest venue. It was a weekend show and Bee offered to be the DD - it was time to get saucy.
I frequently consume LSD when attending music events; to connect with myself, my family and friends, and of course to experience the music and art in a deeper way. A joyful celebration of uplifting sensory experience and loving vibrations! My typical recipe is to dose immediately upon arriving to the venue; this night I chose to time my dose so that I would be peaking during the car ride to the venue and while entering. This is not a recipe I would recommend to someone who has not ingested LSD in public settings before. Getting through the entry check while tripping can be quite difficult hahaha!
This night, however, everything went swimmingly. I chose to take two doses of a particular batch of L I’ve had for some time now and eaten in this type of setting many times - comfort zone. I personally dislike using ug as an indicator because anything short of proper lab analysis is only a rough indicator. We will say approximately 400ug in terms of intensity of typical effects at this assumed dose.
I came up laying on the couch, listening to Shpongle at home. I really enjoy dressing up for these sorts of events so I picked out my outfit ahead of time, knowing I was planning to dose. Getting my outfit on while coming up was silly and fun. It definitely felt like it was time to party!
Bee helped me keep my life together and get out the door in one piece with all my things. My visuals were starting to intensify. The texture of the steps and strange shadows cast by the many light sources in our apartment complex were pronounced and amusing. A gentle layer of phosphene rainbow glow began to cover all the edges and corners and borders of life, as it usually does when I take acid.
When we got in the car, I leaned my seat back to a comfortable recline, buckled up, laid back. One of my favorite sites while tripping is city lights in the dark. Because driving while tripping is both dangerous and careless, I often don’t have an opportunity to experience that set of stimuli in the expanded space. It was a treat for Bee to drive while we continued jamming out Shpongle. I gazed on at the passing signs and headlights with glee, leaning in to my trip. The overall mood was both composed and joyous.
Getting through security was easier than most nights; not that we have any cause for trouble, pot is legal in our state and the substances we often take to shows are easily concealed - things were just moving swimmingly at the venue.
We are frequent flyers at dance music events in our city, so the next hour or so was a series of hugs, handshaking, and greeting friendly faces. We got settled up on the rail where some homies were already stationed. It was warm and blissful to be surrounded by friends.
As we are finding our groove, getting down, and enjoying the openers, I spy a young gentleman clad in full on jester regalia, painted face an all. Without much delay, he made his way up to his group of friends, who were just a few bodies down on the rail to the right of us. I couldn’t help but stare at him a little hahahaha!
I don’t believe in chance occurrence, and tend toward the ideology that everything happens by design. As cosmic fate had brought this person into my field of experience (literally my field of consciousness), I remembered my past two DMT experiences. Being currently suspended in a similarly expanded state, I was quite open to the idea that the same Jester being had sent this fellow my way. It is not often we have folks dressed as clowns or jesters in my city. It also wasn’t as if he was simply a passing character in the cast of the evening; he and I soon began to interact.
Around the time Truth got on stage, the Jester and I were shoulder to shoulder. I was delighted in the cosmic humor of it all. This symbol/being/energy I was holding myself at arms distance from was now quite near and not unpleasant. He leaned over toward me; he had his roommate at home on FaceTime - hilarious. He and I made goofy faces at his roommate while the party intensified. We danced together - all smiles.
As we packed into the car at the end of the night, I told Bee about my experience, and related the personal significance of it to her. She was amused and obviously also noticed the clown-clad gentleman, but wasn’t aware of the inner implications he held for me. It was a nice way to finally completely integrate and conclude those feelings of worry or fear surrounding that character and experience.
About a week and a half later, I found myself in a state of deep peace in the early afternoon, just coming down from a lazy day’s meditation. I felt the inclination and desire to dose so I did. Again, I went for something on the more mild side, and loaded ~18mg of freebase spice into the vaporizer.
I took a deep long toke and laid on the floor just by where I had been seated for meditation. As I exhaled I felt nothing but peace. The warm sunshine from the window kissed my skin. My vision came in a wavy sort of way. Somehow liquid and also crystalline, and having definite depth and existing in a 3D space, the jester character returned to me. His form was a tessellation of drops of water, unified yet made of many drops.
This time, I greeted him with a smile. His playful and gentle nature suddenly obvious to me, I could clearly feel and see how the Cosmic Force was working through this archetype both to teach me and to lighten my mood; I was being reminded of the divine necessity of humor and play. I radiated happiness. I felt a palpable sense of communion and connection with the watery jester entity. I rode this wave of bliss until coming down, laughing with some gentle tears. I felt directly as though a chapter of my psychedelic adventures had reached conclusion and closure.
The biggest take away for me, from this chain of experience, that I want to pass on more directly, is not to be too concerned with the experiences of others. It can be helpful to have guideposts to gauge the intensity of our own psychedelic experience, and reassuring to see common themes from our own visions in the visions of others. It can also predispose us to attachment and aversion to certain types of experience or certain symbolism, which, as my own experience well highlights, can become blocks in the way of authentic and genuine (joyful) experience.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I would sincerely appreciate any editorial suggestions on this piece, especially before it is included in the Nexian publication.
Safe travels
Sv
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For the last 12 years, I have been experimenting with psychedelics/entheogens on a semi-regular basis. My use is most always intentional, even if my dose is taken in a party setting. In my journeys, each experience has a certain degree of novelty or uniqueness, especially surrounding the peak vision/message. There are certainly trends and commonalities among all psychedelic experience, no doubt, but I have found it uncommon in my lifetime for two or three or several trips to be filled with the same central imagery and characters. That is precisely what makes this chain of experiences stand out in my mind and in my life, and why I want to relate them. Piecing this intro together has been challenging, so I will try to sum it up in a single sentence:
Most usually, the expanded space is recognizable but the precise themes of each entheogenic experience are wildly unique and different; I experienced a string of experiences that all had common themes and an unusual level of similarity, overlap, and the repeated appearance of a cosmic jester-like entity. This lack of novelty is in itself novel to me. Let us explore that together as I relay my experiences.
Around a year ago, I extracted my first DMT and started using the substance more earnestly in my practice and meditation (and also for fun). I would say that my third or fourth experience with my own spice was when this chain of tales began. I would roughly place that date around June 2023.
Before performing my own extraction, I had experimented with DMT a couple of times, but my primary entheogen of choice has always been LSD. Because of this, I have always found a special level of intrigue reading DMT trip reports. In my reading, I have come to realize that many many individuals encounter jester like entities. I frequently wonder if my prior knowledge of the possibility of meeting this particular entity helped to elicit a connection with them or an experience of them.
There are four key experiences in this story; two DMT experiences, followed by an LSD experience, and concluded by a DMT experience. The exact timeline is very hazy. The personal novelty of the events is not. Let us begin chronologically.
As I mentioned previously, this first experience was my third or fourth time ingesting spice I had extracted myself. It is worth drawing special attention to the last trip report I read before consuming the first dose in this sequence of experiences. It was a somewhat mixed DMT report in which the individual was faced with a cosmic jester entity who branded their tongue, a feeling they physically experienced, which was followed by a series of difficult visions. The reporter noted their lack of surrender to the experience on the whole, which likely elicited this experience for them. Regardless, this story was fresh in my mind.
It was a rather peaceful evening. My partner (Bee) and I had been smoking pot, eating snacks, just relaxing on the couch after dinner. She drifted off. While I sat there reading, I felt the call to dose, so I did.
I loaded approx 20mg of freebase DMT into my (already caked) Yocan vaporizer. I was feeling quite serene and optimistic, so chose to adventure without music - something I hadn’t done before.
I decided to titrate my dose. The first two inhales were short. I enjoyed the usual comforting body experience and let the waves of peace roll over me. I let myself be limp on the couch. Sweet serene expanded peace…
The third inhale was large. Truthfully, I wasn’t anticipating the level of intensity the third hit delivered unto me, and it was simultaneously jarring and pleasant to be surprised in this way.
With the absence of music, the sounds of the running dishwasher, which were quiet and mellow before, became stretched, as it were, through time. Bubbles, burbles, squelches and pops all slid up through my ears as my vision began to vibrate as if I was passing rapidly through a tunnel with interspersed lights. I closed my eyes and took the ride!!
As I closed my eyes, the carrier wave began to rise up in my consciousness. A gentle ringing like a mindfulness bell in the distance…
My inner vision began to take on red and blue hues, which intermingled and began to become a more complex pattern of fractal squares. The deeper vision opened up as if out of a folded box, or as if a cosmic frame was suddenly held before me, inside of which my visions unfolded.
Initially I beheld pillars and stone blocks with indescribable colors. There were some symbols I couldn’t (care to) identify on some of the blocks. The pillars and blocks both were prismatic and self luminous yet also possessing definite and certain hues, which changed and shimmered as I watched. Suddenly the vision began to take on a certain mechanical aesthetic, and a robotic head arose out of the ground (?) of the space I was viewing. It was a small round head, with a big comic smile, and a 3-tipped jester hat.
Instantly remembering that trip I report, I was startled by the sudden appearance of this face/entity, and upon feeling this sudden sense of surprise, I repeated my mantra aloud (at least I think it was aloud), at which point the jester head rotated, to show that the other side of his head was none other than the face of the deity associated with my mantra.
Seeing the effect of the mantra on my vision was profound and impactful. I immediately felt secure again. The experience soon began to fade and I laughed out loud, allowing myself to gracefully descend from the expanded state. I remember cognizing that, at this time, this had been the most intense DMT experience I had ever had. This was also the first time I felt a definite sense of fear in relation to my DMT vision, and feel strongly that the prior impression of that other person’s experience indeed colored my own experience in that moment.
Two weeks pass. It is a lazy, sunny afternoon at home with Bee. I decide that it is an ideal time to dose, as I had been feeling the call on and off since my last experience. I decide to “take it easy” and aim for a low dose of ~15mg.
As I sit and focus on my breathing, I notice an undeniable feeling of apprehension. I am concerned I will meet the Jester entity again, and potentially live through an uncomfortable experience. I do my best to let it go.
I am seated on the floor and lean back against the couch as I take my (first) inhale. As I’m holding the hit I am aware I didn’t get all of the spice. I let myself slowly exhale and settle into the space….
So far so good. Typical low dose bliss and comfort. My attitude is positive. I grab the vaporizer again to finish my dose. As I am taking my second inhale, my feeling of apprehension returns.
I exhale, an my fuzzy low dose visuals begin to solidify a bit, very similarly to when one is seated upright and begins dozing off to sleep, having short little “micro dreams”. I see a Jester seated on a series of 3 large wooden blocks, much like in a classic children’s toy set. He smiles at me and my apprehension intensifies. My fear of uncomfortable visions begins to precipitate exactly that. Strange faces with mangled teeth, hardly-human entities with unsettling visages. In this moment I let myself breath and acknowledged how I had fed this energy in my experience. I appreciated that I had gone for a low dose and that my visuals were relatively undefined and non-vivid. I opened my eyes for a moment to try and pull out, but quickly decided to man up and simply face the experience head on and let go of my unreasonable fear.
While this experience wasn’t very enjoyable, it was a great teacher. The “band-aide” of the possibility of a difficult set of visions had been ripped off, and was admittedly not as bad as I had imagined such an experience to be. I am sure I have the humble size of my dose to partly thank for that. It was also worth noting that the jester character had been smiling before the difficult visions set in, and that they didn’t arise until my emotional response of fear came up.
I spent a couple weeks digesting this experience before I consumed any more entheogens.
As time passed, I felt like I understood the message that was there for me in that particular experience, and began prospecting my next dose. The moment of destiny would be a wonderful EDM event; Chef B, Veil, Truth, and Boogie T on the 140 warriors tour were playing in my city at our newest and largest venue. It was a weekend show and Bee offered to be the DD - it was time to get saucy.
I frequently consume LSD when attending music events; to connect with myself, my family and friends, and of course to experience the music and art in a deeper way. A joyful celebration of uplifting sensory experience and loving vibrations! My typical recipe is to dose immediately upon arriving to the venue; this night I chose to time my dose so that I would be peaking during the car ride to the venue and while entering. This is not a recipe I would recommend to someone who has not ingested LSD in public settings before. Getting through the entry check while tripping can be quite difficult hahaha!
This night, however, everything went swimmingly. I chose to take two doses of a particular batch of L I’ve had for some time now and eaten in this type of setting many times - comfort zone. I personally dislike using ug as an indicator because anything short of proper lab analysis is only a rough indicator. We will say approximately 400ug in terms of intensity of typical effects at this assumed dose.
I came up laying on the couch, listening to Shpongle at home. I really enjoy dressing up for these sorts of events so I picked out my outfit ahead of time, knowing I was planning to dose. Getting my outfit on while coming up was silly and fun. It definitely felt like it was time to party!
Bee helped me keep my life together and get out the door in one piece with all my things. My visuals were starting to intensify. The texture of the steps and strange shadows cast by the many light sources in our apartment complex were pronounced and amusing. A gentle layer of phosphene rainbow glow began to cover all the edges and corners and borders of life, as it usually does when I take acid.
When we got in the car, I leaned my seat back to a comfortable recline, buckled up, laid back. One of my favorite sites while tripping is city lights in the dark. Because driving while tripping is both dangerous and careless, I often don’t have an opportunity to experience that set of stimuli in the expanded space. It was a treat for Bee to drive while we continued jamming out Shpongle. I gazed on at the passing signs and headlights with glee, leaning in to my trip. The overall mood was both composed and joyous.
Getting through security was easier than most nights; not that we have any cause for trouble, pot is legal in our state and the substances we often take to shows are easily concealed - things were just moving swimmingly at the venue.
We are frequent flyers at dance music events in our city, so the next hour or so was a series of hugs, handshaking, and greeting friendly faces. We got settled up on the rail where some homies were already stationed. It was warm and blissful to be surrounded by friends.
As we are finding our groove, getting down, and enjoying the openers, I spy a young gentleman clad in full on jester regalia, painted face an all. Without much delay, he made his way up to his group of friends, who were just a few bodies down on the rail to the right of us. I couldn’t help but stare at him a little hahahaha!
I don’t believe in chance occurrence, and tend toward the ideology that everything happens by design. As cosmic fate had brought this person into my field of experience (literally my field of consciousness), I remembered my past two DMT experiences. Being currently suspended in a similarly expanded state, I was quite open to the idea that the same Jester being had sent this fellow my way. It is not often we have folks dressed as clowns or jesters in my city. It also wasn’t as if he was simply a passing character in the cast of the evening; he and I soon began to interact.
Around the time Truth got on stage, the Jester and I were shoulder to shoulder. I was delighted in the cosmic humor of it all. This symbol/being/energy I was holding myself at arms distance from was now quite near and not unpleasant. He leaned over toward me; he had his roommate at home on FaceTime - hilarious. He and I made goofy faces at his roommate while the party intensified. We danced together - all smiles.
As we packed into the car at the end of the night, I told Bee about my experience, and related the personal significance of it to her. She was amused and obviously also noticed the clown-clad gentleman, but wasn’t aware of the inner implications he held for me. It was a nice way to finally completely integrate and conclude those feelings of worry or fear surrounding that character and experience.
About a week and a half later, I found myself in a state of deep peace in the early afternoon, just coming down from a lazy day’s meditation. I felt the inclination and desire to dose so I did. Again, I went for something on the more mild side, and loaded ~18mg of freebase spice into the vaporizer.
I took a deep long toke and laid on the floor just by where I had been seated for meditation. As I exhaled I felt nothing but peace. The warm sunshine from the window kissed my skin. My vision came in a wavy sort of way. Somehow liquid and also crystalline, and having definite depth and existing in a 3D space, the jester character returned to me. His form was a tessellation of drops of water, unified yet made of many drops.
This time, I greeted him with a smile. His playful and gentle nature suddenly obvious to me, I could clearly feel and see how the Cosmic Force was working through this archetype both to teach me and to lighten my mood; I was being reminded of the divine necessity of humor and play. I radiated happiness. I felt a palpable sense of communion and connection with the watery jester entity. I rode this wave of bliss until coming down, laughing with some gentle tears. I felt directly as though a chapter of my psychedelic adventures had reached conclusion and closure.
The biggest take away for me, from this chain of experience, that I want to pass on more directly, is not to be too concerned with the experiences of others. It can be helpful to have guideposts to gauge the intensity of our own psychedelic experience, and reassuring to see common themes from our own visions in the visions of others. It can also predispose us to attachment and aversion to certain types of experience or certain symbolism, which, as my own experience well highlights, can become blocks in the way of authentic and genuine (joyful) experience.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I would sincerely appreciate any editorial suggestions on this piece, especially before it is included in the Nexian publication.
Safe travels
Sv
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