This was an issue struggled with for a long time - for some reason the experience these days doesn't even close to resemble the first forays. In the beginning, there was a welcoming presence, I remember the first time it was as if the body was wrapped in a feminine loving presence that radiated love and pride - "its good to see you've made it, welcome" - the visual and body feelings were like nothing I've ever experienced since. It was like that for the first few weeks, as aspects of my life were revealed and shown to me as a transmission by emotion, vision, concept and understanding all at once - a conscious state that felt more real and tangible than waking life. As if coming back was dropping in dimensionality, back to something flat and limited. I saw the self transforming machine elves as they picked through souls that were entering and leaving - units of experience returning to source and then back out again, tended to by what looked like short almost troll like entities, with shiny plastic blue and red triangle hats and curled toe boots that morphed into the most ridiculous things they wanted to when acknowledged. We shared pure laughter for a moment, pulled from a soul unit that was more like a blood cell in a body than a lifetime it represented.
Over time, the experience changed from revelatory, to once being trapped by purely hateful and malevolent entities that reveled in my terror in a world where I experienced and saw things as if I were a character in Nightmare before Christmas or Coraline - with visions of the most horrid things my psyche could possibly conjure. I finally came out of trance enough to turn on the light - and poof the Gwar-looking meanies were gone.
Then a few stages of blue hued abyss, with no information, just a sense of passing on and what felt like a knowing of the experience our soul enters into as it passes from the physical shell. Death = but not frightening.
Then back to entities that were much more elf like claiming I was part of the soul group, outside space-time and giddy with laughter among tricksters that travel hyperspace to experience truly pure love in its finest forms and share in the tragic comedic misfortune of my efforts in life to try so hard and yet fall so short of what I desire as my relationship fumbles. More close friends and all beautiful spirits - yet not the machine elves. More like Discordian spirits like myself at heart - friends that are outside incarnation but waiting for me to return and do it all over again together somewhere.
I experienced them several times, and felt that I must have tapped into something that was real - and I kept going back to see them, but it was chasing a rainbow that wouldn't reappear.
One night I was in a golden area that felt as if it were a council - and I remember being told not to do something or it would shred reality - so I defied that, and shredded reality just to see if that was possible.
After that, for months and months - I was unable to breakthrough, when my eyes are closed and I sit in silence and contemplation, where once communion was the experience, there was nothing. Nothing for months, regardless of how I did it, if I took time away from it, and I felt it was because I had been shown the way to live and had not heeded the lesson. I was cut off - and the sadness I experienced when attempting to come back and being left with nothing regardless of the quality or method of smoking, upset me and I put it away - remembering that I had been told to straighten up, read and not come back until I was ready.
I can now go back in a sense - but its simply nothing like those first times - even tho one hit of the red will put me in that "phase shifted" dimensionality I associated with a breakthrough, there is only my soul and the perspectives in the expanded dimensionality consciousness where information is transmitted in on so many levels at once - it is useful, but it is not what I remember. Tonight, I tried the heptane separated white, loading up more than was called for - and in 2 rips, I was blasted and forced to lay down and then attacked by something outside myself that seemed extremely upset I had returned - I closed my eyes and opened myself to try and understand what possible transgression invoked such a response - and it makes me wonder.
Am I just batshit? Are these experiences no more than dreams, and no more tied to reality than a lucid dream? Is there a connectedness to the experience, and consequences of denial and punishment if an offense has occurred? Or is it all just random, and ultimately no more substantial or persistant than a common dream?
At any rate - I will say, that the variety of experience in the same substance never ceases to amaze me. And that red stuff gives a 3 dimensional aspect to the patterns that are usually somewhat flat - as if vision was made of rotating boxes, balls, diamonds that are tangible and have depth. And my god its potent.
For me, its all about getting in solid rips using a freebase pipe attached to a bong. Vaporizers, joints, the machine, changa - nothing smashes the veil like a good rip from that setup. I miss my spirit friends though
Thank goodness it's not just me that they blocked. I'm currently 86'd, banned, barred from hyperspace ... and it's pissing me off. I think I may have to the point where I shown it all ... it was all laid out on the table and for a few seconds I had a budda-like consciousness ... but that bloody evaporated once I got back to baseline and surely they can't expect me remember it all??? That's just mean .... I didn't even have a pen and paper to write it all down 
