joebono
Rising Star
This trip was done with 2 grams of 20X extract and 120mg of yellow freebase DMT. I’ve been experimenting with the extract to find the optimum dosage and I think I found it in 2 grams of the magical stuff. This dose completely inhibits MAO, provides the foundation for a warm and loving and colorful trip and has zero nausea. Compared to pure extracts, it is like comparing watered down diet soda to full bodied, remarkably sweet soda.
After ingestion I sat on the couch and waited for my thoughts to become deeper and sharper. I waited for my mind to leave the safety of the sidewalk and wander out into the street and into the dark alleys and glitzy pathways of thought and experience. After a half an hour I began to get lost in the stories and ideas in my head. The world disappears and I am left wandering the contents of my mind except I am wondering if these thoughts really originate from myself or if the world is somehow seeping into me to produce these strange dreamlike narratives. Sometimes during the exploration of a particular idea I decide to step outside of it to gain a different perspective and I am really trying to stand above the DMT trip to get a different view. But you can’t leave the DMT space because it has you trapped and deep in its playful grip. It then lets me wander around and tosses colors and concepts at me like a lasso to reel me back in to the cave.
Knowledge is often gifted to me during these sessions. Lately the lesson is that my life consists of everything that I experience, every person I know, every food I eat, every tree I see, and everything outside of the self is really me in as much as my interior is me. Interior and exterior are all me. Now that concept is a deep philosophical idea that took on a tangible and mind shattering reality during this trip. I was stunned by the implications and awed by the grandiosity of it. Ah, but DMT doesn’t relinquish such truths so easily. Next I was subjected to crushing doubt – these are silly hippy ideas, drug-addled misconceptions, sad excuses to continue eating a crazy and unpredictable molecule. The ying and yang is made manifest in this dialogue. I am left just as confused as before except there are some breadcrumbs left for me to follow for answers.
And the breadcrumbs led me through the darkness and light of the mind, through the cosmic cloud of consciousness where abstract humor and novel creativity fuck each other for my perverse enjoyment. This is some self indulgent shit, it’s all about me and my feelings, my thoughts, my life – the universe is converging on me because I matter. My life takes on the trappings of a cosmic drama and I can picture it as a Shakespearean play where I am JoeBono by night and the other me by day. JoeBono, the noetic delver who practices with an illicit substance against all the rules of society is also the solid, upstanding and respectable citizen who wears a suit and tie during the rest of the week. This idea slammed me against the wall and I don’t know how to recover or integrate it. I’m like fucking Batman. I think I need some distance from DMT for a while, but I am drawn inexorably to my Saturday trips.
Sometimes during the week I have whispers of DMT in my consciousness and thought processes. I think in terms of DMT expansiveness rather than the regular sober narrow mind. Is this positive? I like it. But damn it, I need some objectivity. What is it really doing to me? Am I more open minded or less? Am I able to think more philosophically or am I spiraling into stupidity? I don’t fucking know and it is sort of tearing me apart. Am I any different than a dude who does nitrous all the time because he finds truth in that chemical? Or is this different? Or am I the poster child for what society regards as a druggie? Or have I been enlightened and the rest of straight society are the ones living the illusion? Maybe there are no answers.
After ingestion I sat on the couch and waited for my thoughts to become deeper and sharper. I waited for my mind to leave the safety of the sidewalk and wander out into the street and into the dark alleys and glitzy pathways of thought and experience. After a half an hour I began to get lost in the stories and ideas in my head. The world disappears and I am left wandering the contents of my mind except I am wondering if these thoughts really originate from myself or if the world is somehow seeping into me to produce these strange dreamlike narratives. Sometimes during the exploration of a particular idea I decide to step outside of it to gain a different perspective and I am really trying to stand above the DMT trip to get a different view. But you can’t leave the DMT space because it has you trapped and deep in its playful grip. It then lets me wander around and tosses colors and concepts at me like a lasso to reel me back in to the cave.
Knowledge is often gifted to me during these sessions. Lately the lesson is that my life consists of everything that I experience, every person I know, every food I eat, every tree I see, and everything outside of the self is really me in as much as my interior is me. Interior and exterior are all me. Now that concept is a deep philosophical idea that took on a tangible and mind shattering reality during this trip. I was stunned by the implications and awed by the grandiosity of it. Ah, but DMT doesn’t relinquish such truths so easily. Next I was subjected to crushing doubt – these are silly hippy ideas, drug-addled misconceptions, sad excuses to continue eating a crazy and unpredictable molecule. The ying and yang is made manifest in this dialogue. I am left just as confused as before except there are some breadcrumbs left for me to follow for answers.
And the breadcrumbs led me through the darkness and light of the mind, through the cosmic cloud of consciousness where abstract humor and novel creativity fuck each other for my perverse enjoyment. This is some self indulgent shit, it’s all about me and my feelings, my thoughts, my life – the universe is converging on me because I matter. My life takes on the trappings of a cosmic drama and I can picture it as a Shakespearean play where I am JoeBono by night and the other me by day. JoeBono, the noetic delver who practices with an illicit substance against all the rules of society is also the solid, upstanding and respectable citizen who wears a suit and tie during the rest of the week. This idea slammed me against the wall and I don’t know how to recover or integrate it. I’m like fucking Batman. I think I need some distance from DMT for a while, but I am drawn inexorably to my Saturday trips.
Sometimes during the week I have whispers of DMT in my consciousness and thought processes. I think in terms of DMT expansiveness rather than the regular sober narrow mind. Is this positive? I like it. But damn it, I need some objectivity. What is it really doing to me? Am I more open minded or less? Am I able to think more philosophically or am I spiraling into stupidity? I don’t fucking know and it is sort of tearing me apart. Am I any different than a dude who does nitrous all the time because he finds truth in that chemical? Or is this different? Or am I the poster child for what society regards as a druggie? Or have I been enlightened and the rest of straight society are the ones living the illusion? Maybe there are no answers.
