Hey man, you're going through some difficult stuff. You've experienced some great losses recently and are,or should be, in a grieving process. Adding drugs to the mix can't be a good idea, especially something that you admittedly find quite confusing. It's just going to add to your problems and compound your circumstances.
I am not sure why you can't see these stressors as being unrelated to your experiences. Living at your mom's, doing heroin and DMT isn't any way to live man. DMT isn't going to allow you to escape into oblivion which is what you seem to want.
If you want to change your life, for more reasons than for you to have good trips, then quitting drugs altogether should be a primary concern for you. I'm not sure what recovery resources are around you and what kind of financial or insurance resources you have, but my recommendation would be medicated assisted treatment ala methadone or suboxone. And then once you have a handle on yourself physically begin to see a therapist and work on why ally these things happen. Karma preexisted reality, all things are caused, find the root of your pain and you can end it. Then find a supportive community that works intentionally with psychedelics and explore that route as an adjunct to your recovery. Don't think getting high is going to get you off drugs or fix any of your problems.
Psychedelics can be beneficial to catalyze a recovery through a transformative experience in which one's ego is shattered and they become aware of something greater than themselves experientially, but to escape your grief they are not a very effective agent.
I am in recovery myself, having experienced these things, and i can attest to the efficacy of a well-walked path and thoughtfully constructed practice of holistic recovery. After a 25 year heroin addiction and 6 years of homelessness, now I have over three years free of illicits and close to one in my own home, and am happier and more fulfilled than I've ever been.
You can be too, but but by doing what you're doing.
I look forward to seeing them and hope that your future discussions here revolve around solutions, and i also hope you aren't encouraged by others to explore further at this point, and not because of simple drug interactions. Perhaps you should spend some time preparing for when the time is right.
Good luck, peace, and for you and your mom's sake be good to you.