Esoteric_pathfinde
Rising Star
Hello everybody of this amazing community, first of all thanks for the wonderful stories and great information I have found here on the Nexus.
I'm a student of life looking for answers, through ayahuasca I discovered the existence of DMT, way before this happened I discovered the existence of consciousness through mindfulness, this is where the search began! After a spontaneous mindfulness holiday I unexpectedly ended up in a no-mind state of mind. I had no clue of what was happening to me, EVERYTHING in the world looked new to me, i was amazed by every little thing I came across. And I felt connected with everything and everyone, I was able to feel what was going to happen in some occasions. I still had thoughts, but it felt as if they came to me through a channel between my shoulders. It was kind of heaven on earth. "Unfortunately" this state ceased after five days, and I was back to "normal".
After this totally unexpected adventure I started talking to people and started reading books. Neale D. Walsch and Eckhart Tolle where the first books I read in this direction. Until today, 5 years later, I don't know if I should be happy with that which I have experienced. It was amazing, but now, I'm only looking to "get" this experience again. And the amount of answers about life has exponentially grown. Besides that, which is even worse, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I just can't find any reason to do anything at all. Everything I do, (running a small business, following classes for Naturopathic medicine, see friends, family, girlfriend) feels like I'm doing it for others, because I'm supposed to do things, achieve things, make something of my life. I just don't feel very interested in life, it's so boring. People are always complaining and moaning about stuff, but I feel it is just bull shit where they are moaning about. People are so serious about everything, I just want to have fun, enjoy nature, be together with people. So why am I complaining here then? Just go have fun... Yeah, I know. It's just that I feel trapped in a system of slavery, slaves to capitalism and materialism. You need to work, work, work! If you don't work you are worthless. The economy has to grow, grow, grow, until we explode and die in a big mountain of trash.
So DMT, well I had some very amazing experiences with Ayahuasca, later on DMT and even Bufo Alvarius, which was totally crazy and mind blowing. But now one of my questions is, why does DMT not work for me anymore? I started using it about a year ago, it was just stunning how it affected me. I "think" I never really broke through though. I have had some contact with entities during Aya and DMT, but never as immersive as I have read other people did. About six months ago something changed, the visuals got weaker and my ego stayed active. Today I don't get visuals at all, just a body load and dizziness. What I do notice is that I am very focused after the trip, so it really helps me to be mindful and enjoy life a bit more! This is also the case with other Ayahuasca sessions I have had, it is more like a battle with the ego than a spiritual journey, and there are no visuals anymore. Besides that I also experience a tremendous pain in my throat while inhaling DMT vapour since a couple of months, almost unbearable. By the way, I use DMT maybe twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with quality of crystals or method of administration. Other people have tried the same method and crystals with great results. The only thing I have discovered so far is the use of Panax Ginseng, this is counteractive for me. DMT is almost inactive after I have taken Ginseng. I also tried waiting a couple of weeks, but that makes no difference.
Anyway, very nice to meet you all, hope to stay in contact and I'm looking forward to your responses.
Much love
Update: I now realize I burned some DMT directly, that's why it was so painful in my throat
I'm a student of life looking for answers, through ayahuasca I discovered the existence of DMT, way before this happened I discovered the existence of consciousness through mindfulness, this is where the search began! After a spontaneous mindfulness holiday I unexpectedly ended up in a no-mind state of mind. I had no clue of what was happening to me, EVERYTHING in the world looked new to me, i was amazed by every little thing I came across. And I felt connected with everything and everyone, I was able to feel what was going to happen in some occasions. I still had thoughts, but it felt as if they came to me through a channel between my shoulders. It was kind of heaven on earth. "Unfortunately" this state ceased after five days, and I was back to "normal".
After this totally unexpected adventure I started talking to people and started reading books. Neale D. Walsch and Eckhart Tolle where the first books I read in this direction. Until today, 5 years later, I don't know if I should be happy with that which I have experienced. It was amazing, but now, I'm only looking to "get" this experience again. And the amount of answers about life has exponentially grown. Besides that, which is even worse, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I just can't find any reason to do anything at all. Everything I do, (running a small business, following classes for Naturopathic medicine, see friends, family, girlfriend) feels like I'm doing it for others, because I'm supposed to do things, achieve things, make something of my life. I just don't feel very interested in life, it's so boring. People are always complaining and moaning about stuff, but I feel it is just bull shit where they are moaning about. People are so serious about everything, I just want to have fun, enjoy nature, be together with people. So why am I complaining here then? Just go have fun... Yeah, I know. It's just that I feel trapped in a system of slavery, slaves to capitalism and materialism. You need to work, work, work! If you don't work you are worthless. The economy has to grow, grow, grow, until we explode and die in a big mountain of trash.
So DMT, well I had some very amazing experiences with Ayahuasca, later on DMT and even Bufo Alvarius, which was totally crazy and mind blowing. But now one of my questions is, why does DMT not work for me anymore? I started using it about a year ago, it was just stunning how it affected me. I "think" I never really broke through though. I have had some contact with entities during Aya and DMT, but never as immersive as I have read other people did. About six months ago something changed, the visuals got weaker and my ego stayed active. Today I don't get visuals at all, just a body load and dizziness. What I do notice is that I am very focused after the trip, so it really helps me to be mindful and enjoy life a bit more! This is also the case with other Ayahuasca sessions I have had, it is more like a battle with the ego than a spiritual journey, and there are no visuals anymore. Besides that I also experience a tremendous pain in my throat while inhaling DMT vapour since a couple of months, almost unbearable. By the way, I use DMT maybe twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with quality of crystals or method of administration. Other people have tried the same method and crystals with great results. The only thing I have discovered so far is the use of Panax Ginseng, this is counteractive for me. DMT is almost inactive after I have taken Ginseng. I also tried waiting a couple of weeks, but that makes no difference.
Anyway, very nice to meet you all, hope to stay in contact and I'm looking forward to your responses.
Much love
Update: I now realize I burned some DMT directly, that's why it was so painful in my throat