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DMT trips have changed a lot over time

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Esoteric_pathfinde

Esoteric_pathfinde

Rising Star
Hello everybody of this amazing community, first of all thanks for the wonderful stories and great information I have found here on the Nexus.

I'm a student of life looking for answers, through ayahuasca I discovered the existence of DMT, way before this happened I discovered the existence of consciousness through mindfulness, this is where the search began! After a spontaneous mindfulness holiday I unexpectedly ended up in a no-mind state of mind. I had no clue of what was happening to me, EVERYTHING in the world looked new to me, i was amazed by every little thing I came across. And I felt connected with everything and everyone, I was able to feel what was going to happen in some occasions. I still had thoughts, but it felt as if they came to me through a channel between my shoulders. It was kind of heaven on earth. "Unfortunately" this state ceased after five days, and I was back to "normal".

After this totally unexpected adventure I started talking to people and started reading books. Neale D. Walsch and Eckhart Tolle where the first books I read in this direction. Until today, 5 years later, I don't know if I should be happy with that which I have experienced. It was amazing, but now, I'm only looking to "get" this experience again. And the amount of answers about life has exponentially grown. Besides that, which is even worse, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I just can't find any reason to do anything at all. Everything I do, (running a small business, following classes for Naturopathic medicine, see friends, family, girlfriend) feels like I'm doing it for others, because I'm supposed to do things, achieve things, make something of my life. I just don't feel very interested in life, it's so boring. People are always complaining and moaning about stuff, but I feel it is just bull shit where they are moaning about. People are so serious about everything, I just want to have fun, enjoy nature, be together with people. So why am I complaining here then? Just go have fun... Yeah, I know. It's just that I feel trapped in a system of slavery, slaves to capitalism and materialism. You need to work, work, work! If you don't work you are worthless. The economy has to grow, grow, grow, until we explode and die in a big mountain of trash.

So DMT, well I had some very amazing experiences with Ayahuasca, later on DMT and even Bufo Alvarius, which was totally crazy and mind blowing. But now one of my questions is, why does DMT not work for me anymore? I started using it about a year ago, it was just stunning how it affected me. I "think" I never really broke through though. I have had some contact with entities during Aya and DMT, but never as immersive as I have read other people did. About six months ago something changed, the visuals got weaker and my ego stayed active. Today I don't get visuals at all, just a body load and dizziness. What I do notice is that I am very focused after the trip, so it really helps me to be mindful and enjoy life a bit more! This is also the case with other Ayahuasca sessions I have had, it is more like a battle with the ego than a spiritual journey, and there are no visuals anymore. Besides that I also experience a tremendous pain in my throat while inhaling DMT vapour since a couple of months, almost unbearable. By the way, I use DMT maybe twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with quality of crystals or method of administration. Other people have tried the same method and crystals with great results. The only thing I have discovered so far is the use of Panax Ginseng, this is counteractive for me. DMT is almost inactive after I have taken Ginseng. I also tried waiting a couple of weeks, but that makes no difference.

Anyway, very nice to meet you all, hope to stay in contact and I'm looking forward to your responses.
Much love

Update: I now realize I burned some DMT directly, that's why it was so painful in my throat :oops:
 
Esoteric_pathfinde said:
it is more like a battle with the ego than a spiritual journey
Click to expand...

Isn't it always? 😁


DMT seems to somewhat unique as a psychedelic, where your mind can be almost completely 'sober' during the experience. Which seems to be why it can be so utterly terrifying, the ego is face to face with THAT.

But it is a good thing actually, we can't hide from our ego forever. It is part of us for a reason, we are much better off knowing it, it is our point of reflection in this journey.
 
Take a break from DMT for a few months. Dr. Gonzo advises to take some LSD in the mean time.

Everything is boring? Lame! Perhaps you need a good vacation. Get out of your head for a bit. No everyone is sleeping. Not everyone is how you picture it in your head at the moment. You have a choice in your interactions with people.

If you want better interactions with people, then you must takes steps to create those positive interactions. It's entirely up to you!

I was standing in line at the grocery store a few years back. There was a grumpy old guy that was standing in front of me yelling at the cashier. I don't remember what they were arguing about but it was certainly trivial. The old man was so angry he was shaking. I put my hand on his shoulder and kindly asked him if he was ok. He stared at me for a second dumbfounded. Tears began to well up in his eyes. I instantly felt his pain and tears welled up in mine too. He grabbed my hand and started saying he was so sorry. He went on to say that his wife had past away just the night before. He was purchasing food and what not for the wake. He just kind of lost it. We hugged and cried. The cashier was crying. The people in line were crying. The cashier hugged him. Other customers surrounded him and each placed a hand on him. It was a very powerful experience for me!

This whole scenario could have played out much differently. We could have all missed this experience. It just took one moment of compassion and everything changed. I will always remember that. You just have no idea what other people are going through. Compassion is your greatest tool to transform how you feel about other people.
 
Thanks for the advise, I have some acid waiting for me all ready quite a while. Very excited to try that for the first time.

What a wonderful story Dmnstr8, heart warming.

I wasn't in my best mood yesterday, feel a lot happier today :) With some help of Ginseng, it's a wonderful plant
 
Heya... Welcome to the Nexus.

So I think psychedelics are lenses and mirrors. At times they can show us new views of the world and our place in it, but at times all we can see is where we currently are, rehashed.

The moral / motivational crisis in your life that you explained is something I can absolutely relate to. I think your best chance in getting psychedelics to do something for you might be to first find your place in the world, and not the other way around.

How about getting back to mindfulness and meditation?

Going for a walk now and then is something that helped me a lot always.

Try to notice and see things, like actually noticing and seeing them. Try looking with the eyes of a photographer - look for interesting patterns and things that you find beautiful. Touch things you wouldn't otherwise touch. When you were a kid, your mom would tell you not to touch stuff because it's dirty - well now go and touch them. Trees, walls, gates, whatever else...

Noticing other people, and trying to recognize them as fellow spiritual beings, as opposed to annoying perceptual noise...
 
Thanks PsyDuckMonkey for the advise :)

Yesterday I went to a singing bowls concert, that was great and gave me the feeling of Mindfulness again. Peace of mind! Later that day I decided to try some DMT again, and it was quite different, I felt I had to keep my eyes open, it was a warm experience with slight visuals in the room and around the lights. I also realized I burned some DMT last time, so that's the reason it felt so painful in my throat. I use a homemade Machine, it works great but sometimes the flame burns the DMT directly. My mistake.
 
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